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Old 01-18-2010, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Anchorage, Ak
1,413 posts, read 1,759,256 times
Reputation: 1310
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, perhaps it's not all black and white and there are shades of gray, just like you said, it's possible that a guy is just shy or missed an opportunity, not confident enough.
I do think though that by the time you are in your 40s, just like the OP, and not in your 20s (as I believe you are), men learn those social skills and learn that majority of women actually like to be pursued. Maybe men ALSO need to read what women are saying here, i/off trying to prove us wrong and actually see what women prefer. It goes both ways.
I don't see anything in your posts about what men want. You seem to think it's all about what the women want.

Well, what I want does not match what you expect me to do. So I do what I want. You seem to think there is no way it will work for me, but guess what, it has worked pretty well for me.

 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:00 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,117 posts, read 2,914,867 times
Reputation: 2573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dorrans View Post
I don't disagree with any of that. All I'm saying is if she finds a man attractive and is interested in him, then why not go for it? Just because a man is interested in here, does not mean he will always go and ask for her number. I've been there before. I've been too shy, not confident enough etc. to ask a woman out that I was interested in. I think many women are not taking into that consideration, that although socially unacceptable, some men don't have the best of social skills and at times can be too shy. It would be nice if women sometimes did the asking, you know.

The notion that if a man does not ask a woman out means he is not interested is just totally false and incorrect.
Another note: Often (not always), the beginning of the whole asking out and etc. interaction sets the tone for the relationship (should there be one). So if the girl is the one who is initially pursuing the guy, the relationship may result in one where she is the leader. Some girls like that. Some girls don't. I am part of the latter. I prefer the more feminine role. That's just me. This has nothing to do with me being in the kitchen all day or anything, but I just prefer to be in the passenger seat rather than the driver's.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:02 PM
 
399 posts, read 343,000 times
Reputation: 387
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Honestly, if a guy is clueless to the fact that I am into him, then Houston we have a problem. While I don't carry a sign that reads "Ask me out!", I make it clear when I am interested.
I'd like it to be as easy as you put it. I have encountered girls who would smile to me, talk a lot, have a good time... only to find out later that they behave like that to everybody. On the other hand some girls believe they are sending "clear signals" which I did certainly miss. I might not be the best to pick up on this but the differences between different women in this can be SO misleading.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:02 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,117 posts, read 2,914,867 times
Reputation: 2573
Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
Some Guys also pursue women who they just want to "see their naked body" as well,Men will put in work and feed women lines for sex..

And of course women want guys who take control,it puts no blame or burden on them and they dont have to do any work
I know that guys pursue girls for sex. However, I doubt they're going to make a serious investment in time and effort, especially when Suzy McHottie is waiting around the corner and is very willing. Of course, some guys may still pursue simply for the sex if they view it as a conquest, but that is a completely different topic. Also, then it is also more about conquering the girl rather than the actual act of sex.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:02 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,807,152 times
Reputation: 7873
Quote:
Aye. I don't actually a problem with this. I've approached women - and women have approached me. I've been on both sides of the coin. I have no problems with social interactions.

Half the problem is that many women [not you in] come across with their princess complex who wants to sit on their pedestal and let the man jump through hoops for her. And men resent that.

I can tell that you don't have a problem. I'm speaking "men" in general, on this forum. Before I met my husband (although I was pretty young), I have done some pursuing as well because I was reckless and fearless. I didn't fear rejection. Although the pursuit didn't go any further then just asking for a number, I wouldn't be the one to ask a man out.
Overall though, men who really wanted me were the ones to pursue. I wasn't giving them a cold shoulder, but I let them take charge. To me, it was about them being aggressive, taking matters into their hands and not taking "no" for an answer. I loved that, that was one of the things that attracted me to my husband in the first place.

I feel like a lot of women (not all, but most) think this way:
If a man is confident enough to hand me his number, why isn't he confident enough to ask for mine? Why is he sending out vibes that it's not that important for him whether or not he will get in touch with me?

And again, it's not about asking for number, it's about not being asked for one.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:04 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 9,807,152 times
Reputation: 7873
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jefetio View Post
I don't see anything in your posts about what men want. You seem to think it's all about what the women want.

Well, what I want does not match what you expect me to do. So I do what I want. You seem to think there is no way it will work for me, but guess what, it has worked pretty well for me.
Yes, my posts right now is about what most women want. Men can speak for themselves.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: in my imagination
10,115 posts, read 12,985,696 times
Reputation: 7080
I have been in love once. We met at a club, she was litteraly surrounded by guys she was that hot and I saw her and was blown away. I still remember the eye contact we made and then after the eye contact that seemed like a eternity I just walked off because I wasn't going to bother being another one of those guys that were swooning over her. I kept my eye on her though all night off and on. As she went to leave she slipped me her number.

I called a couple days later. Of course later on in time she stomped and chewed up my heart but.......
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,928 posts, read 4,467,281 times
Reputation: 12139
Ahhh....let's just end it here.

HOT men/women have their choice of who they want to give their numbers to or IF they ask for one. The others are left to fend for themselves.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:08 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,117 posts, read 2,914,867 times
Reputation: 2573
Quote:
Originally Posted by carra View Post
I'd like it to be as easy as you put it. I have encountered girls who would smile to me, talk a lot, have a good time... only to find out later that they behave like that to everybody. On the other hand some girls believe their are sending "clear signals" which I did certainly miss. I might not be the best to pick up on this but the differences between different women in this can be SO misleading.
One of the reasons that guys are so confused about whether she is interested or not is because there are so many girls out there that love to flirt. They would flirt with a light pole if it had a penis and gave attention. I really don't know what to tell guys about those girls except to watch and see how she acts with everyone. While I'm certainly friendly and warm to everyone, I don't flirt with guys unless I am interested - but that is just me. I know many of my friends who love to play around with guy's attentions and lead them on. I think that's pointless and feel quite bad for the guys.

I should probably note that the type of guys I mesh well with are the ones who will risk a rejection and ask the girl out. These are the types of guys I also typically attract. I suppose this is why I get frustrated when guys linger around waiting for me to make the move. In my eyes (and I am speaking only for myself), if a guy won't muster up the courage to ask me out on a date and risk the chance of me saying no, he must not like me that much. When people really want something, they go after it. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who's with me just because I'm the best option that asked him out.
 
Old 01-18-2010, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,238 posts, read 26,329,729 times
Reputation: 10565
Here's another issue--there's another thread on this forum, about a single woman dating multiple men.

I'm sorry, but I don't want a woman "dating around". If I'm going to make a commitment to one woman, she should make the same commitment to me.
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