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I agree that one can quite nicely supplement real women with porn...Regarding the age factor, I cant imagine having to wait till 40 to get a leg up in the dating game; only to jockey for other men's tablescraps and sloppy seconds anyway.
Lets face it: we'll all die alone when it boils down to it. I figure - By age 40, if Ive made it that far by myself, then what more is there really to work for? Im expected to woo some 45 year old divorcee/mother of some other man's kids, just because she's finally gotten desparate? GTFOH ...and honestly, I wouldnt blame a woman for thinking the same way about older men...I couldnt see why any woman would want some older baggage ridden guy either.
Not saying I would entirely reject the notion of being in a relationship at 40, but there would be very little motivation for me to actively pursue one.
I don't reject women as friends at all. I have more female friends then male, but I prefer porn when it comes to sex. I just don't have relations with them.
Note to the males in here who are saying ALL WOMEN are looking for swagger and game:
1) Stop looking for love "in da club" or any other place where club goers socialize. The only thing they're useful for is one night stands.
2) Stop looking at the hottest piece of A$$ as the measuring stick for how ALL women are. There are plenty of damn good looking geeky girls as well as average looking girls with great personalities.
3) Get out of "mainstream urban/liberal America where people are more shallow and materialistic. I'm sure there are plenty of beautiful small town and country girls who value personality over materials.
They claim not to be materialistic--yet start to claim that you having no ambitions is a negative aspect. You haven't changed, but what they want out of you has.
One major problem with American society is that women arent held to any standards. They can be anything under the sun, and still find support from someone. This makes life for them all fun and fabulous but it wreaks havoc on the relationship game.
When men cheat or become too promiscuous, what is the social ace card supposed to always be? -- the ace card is that one of his mistresses or his wife will come forward and expose information about him (bad sex, small penis, selfish, abusive, bad father, cheapskate/deadbeat etc.) society/media hears these exploits and rightly attempts to shame him.
However for women, everything they do is sanctioned by society. Want to cheat? -- no prob, you're only taking charge of your sexual femininity..just be safe about it so those evil men dont infect you with std's. Your husband was probably neglecting your emotions anyway.
Bad mother? -- cool beans, hey blame it on some man victimizing you, and crushing yourself esteem.
Broke or living on the public dole? -- no sweat..after all, you've been oppressed by 900 years of feminine oppression and male dominance. You are understandably a loser.
False rape accusation? -- okey dokey..just make sure you go to therapy...because Im sure the only reason that you dont care about other people's lives is because your self esteem is low.
Get pregnant at an early age or have several children by a bunch of different lowlifes? -- awesome, if you'd like to terminate the kid, then great, no pressure...if you'd like to keep the kid, then we'll make sure that society subsidizes your poor judgement...either way, no one will judge you nor shame you. After all, as a young woman with low self esteem, it was those wicked men who talked you into consenting to sex, and you couldnt possibly have known you would get pregnant.
Fat and horrendous looking? -- good deal. be big and beautiful, and bítch about the men who dislike it...call them shallow and superficial, and complain about the "pressure" in the media that tanks your self esteem.
Like to hit men and start fights that you cant finish? -- even better. you're just lashing out because you feel undervalued. Or if that excuse doesnt work, then you can just throw out the old platitude about how you felt intimidated, or your emotions got the best of you...after all, everything is acceptable as long as your emotions compelled you to do it. (assuming you're a woman of course). Just gotta remember whatever you do: Its not your fault.
Want to be a lesbo? -- congrats. Those insensitive men must have driven you to it. Once again, you're just exercising your right to express the multifaceted id that is femininity.
You see, the old "low self esteem" crutch has become a way for women to do absolutely anything they want in society without judgement, and without shame. Its the exact same reason that we allow children to get away with anything -- they didnt know any better/its only a child etc. same idea different excuse. Its all a way for advocate groups to make provisions for those who cant accept shame nor judgement for their actions.
Unfortunately, because men are expected to inherently have self esteem/confidence, he isnt absolved of his behavior simply because of some abstraction such as "low self worth". Actually it works precisely in the inverse. A man hits a woman, and he is automatically labeled as weak by both men and women. Now, heres where it becomes different than had a woman hit a man. society actually says his weakness is his problem and his alone. They dont pin it on any woman who may have made him have low self esteem. There is no scapegoat.
Last edited by solytaire; 03-31-2010 at 09:18 AM..
One major problem with American society is that women arent held to any standards. They can be anything under the sun, and still find support from someone. This makes life for them all fun and fabulous but it wreaks havoc on the relationship game.
When men cheat or become too promiscuous, what is the social ace card supposed to always be? -- the ace card is that one of his mistresses or his wife will come forward and expose information about him (bad sex, small penis, selfish, abusive, bad father, cheapskate/deadbeat etc.) society/media hears these exploits and rightly attempts to shame him.
However for women, everything they do is sanctioned by society. Want to cheat? -- no prob, you're only taking charge of your sexual femininity..just be safe about it so those evil men dont infect you with std's. Your husband was probably neglecting your emotions anyway.
Bad mother? -- cool beans, hey blame it on some man victimizing you, and crushing yourself esteem.
False rape accusation? -- okey dokey..just make sure you go to therapy...because Im sure the only reason that you dont care about other people's lives is because your self esteem is low.
Get pregnant at an early age or have several children by a bunch of different lowlifes? -- awesome, if you'd like to terminate the kid, then great, no pressure...if you'd like to keep the kid, then we'll make sure that society subsidizes your poor judgement...either way, no one will judge you nor shame you. After all, as a young woman with low self esteem, it was those wicked men who talked you into consenting to sex, and you couldnt possibly have known you would get pregnant.
Fat and horrendous looking? -- good deal. be big and beautiful, and bítch about the men who dislike it...call them shallow and superficial, and complain about the "pressure" in the media that tanks your self esteem.
Like to hit men and start fights that you cant finish? -- even better. you're just lashing out because you feel undervalued. Or if that excuse doesnt work, then you can just throw out the old platitude about how you felt intimidated, or your emotions got the best of you...after all, everything is acceptable as long as your emotions compelled you to do it. (assuming you're a woman of course). Just gotta remember whatever you do: Is not your fault.
Want to be a lesbo? -- congrats. Those insensitive men must have driven you to it. Once again, you're just exercising your right to express the multifaceted id that is femininity.
You see, the old "low self esteem" crutch has become a way for women to do absolutely anything they want in society without judgement, and without shame. Its the exact same reason that we allow children to get away with anything -- they didnt know any better/its only a child etc. same idea different excuse. Its all a way for advocate groups to make provisions for those who cant accept shame nor judgement for their actions.
Unfortunately, because men are expected to inherently have self esteem/confidence, he isnt absolved of his behavior simply because of some abstraction such as "low self worth". Actually it works precisely in the inverse. A man hits a woman, and he is automatically labeled as weak by both men and women. Now, heres where it becomes different than had a woman hit a man. society actually says his weakness is his problem and his alone. They dont pin it on any woman who may have made him have low self esteem. There is no scapegoat.
I agree that one can quite nicely supplement real women with porn...Regarding the age factor, I cant imagine having to wait till 40 to get a leg up in the dating game; only to jockey for other men's tablescraps and sloppy seconds anyway.
Lets face it: we'll all die alone when it boils down to it. I figure - By age 40, if Ive made it that far by myself, then what more is there really to work for? Im expected to woo some 45 year old divorcee/mother of some other man's kids, just because she's finally gotten desparate? GTFOH ...and honestly, I wouldnt blame a woman for thinking the same way about older men...I couldnt see why any woman would want some older baggage ridden guy either.
Not saying I would entirely reject the notion of being in a relationship at 40, but there would be very little motivation for me to actively pursue one.
I am probably a decade and a few away from forty and I have no interest in active pursuit.
My interest ended shortly after college.
lolz.
*sigh* can we just stop blaming others for our own problems?
Not to mention thread drift and TOS violations.
I look forward to being able to have reasonable conversations and discussions again in the relationship forum someday.
I see it less as blame and more as people voicing the reason why they may be tired of dating or relationships.
And quite a few people have valid points.
I think sometimes orums attract more of a 'rant' style of discussion.
Because I am sure some of the people have nobody to say it to offline.
Especially guys.
Some people are citing that they are tired of relationships. I have never been in a relationship, so I don't have a reason to be tired of one. However, I am getting frustrated by alot of things right now.
I see it less as blame and more as people voicing the reason why they may be tired of dating or relationships.
And quite a few people have valid points.
I think sometimes orums attract more of a 'rant' style of discussion.
Because I am sure some of the people have nobody to say it to offline.
Especially guys.
The reality is that for everyone who thinks we should quit blaming others, someone could say that they should blame themselves for reading these rants.
see, its interesting because when interest groups blame others they are "fighting for blah blah blah/exercising free speech and so forth"....when men begin to lay blame they are told to "suck it up and quitchur bítchin!"....
well enough I suppose..except for the fact that I dont pressure myself to fullfill anyone elses definition of manhood. If I want to bítch a little or a lot..then Ill do it...anyone who doesnt like it can either confront me physically about it or have their ears and eyes surgically removed or something so that they wont have to hear or read these rants. If they opt not to have their ears and eyes surgically removed then they only have themselves to blame when they decide to bítch about my bítching..same game different teams.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nichirenx
I am probably a decade and a few away from forty and I have no interest in active pursuit.
My interest ended shortly after college.
lolz.
The reality is that for everyone who thinks we should quit blaming others, someone could say that they should blame themselves for reading these rants.
see, its interesting because when interest groups blame others they are "fighting for blah blah blah/exercising free speech and so forth"....when men begin to lay blame they are told to "suck it up and quitchur bítchin!"....
well enough I suppose..except for the fact that I dont pressure myself to fullfill anyone elses definition of manhood. If I want to bítch a little or a lot..then Ill do it...anyone who doesnt like it can either confront me physically about it or have their ears and eyes surgically removed or something so that they wont have to hear or read these rants. If they opt not to have their ears and eyes surgically removed then they only have themselves to blame when they decide to bítch about my bítching..same game different teams.
You might want to read the 2nd sticky on the relationship forum.
The thread is about a 45yo woman wondering about the dating environment for her age group. It's not about 20-something guys unhappy with women.
So, go start your own thread instead of gumming up this one.
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