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You want to know something else? My last business trip back to the East Coast I nearly didn't get on the plane back to Seattle. Right up until I dropped my rental off at the airport I was trying to think of a way I could stay in Boston and not fly back. Even if it was just for a few more days. If I could have thought of a way to stay there and have my kids with me I would have stayed.
I wouldn't risk calling his bluff on ending his marriage to be with you. You will just end up alone and looking like a cheater to your family.
Yes, it may be fun for a short while, but the chances of him leaving his wife are not great. On top of that, you could have sex with him and completely ruin the chemistry and he may never even speak to you again.
Not worth it. If you are currently unsatisfied, deal with that in the appropriate way.
I have no illusions that he would leave his wife for me and I wouldn't want or ask him to. This would be ridiculous with him living in England and me in the US and I would never move back to England with my kids so young and take them so far away from their dad. Nope, I'm in the US for the long haul like it or not (I do love the US btw). But I can't help thinking how easy it would be to start an affair. An occassional thing with no strings.
I have no illusions that he would leave his wife for me and I wouldn't want or ask him to. This would be ridiculous with him living in England and me in the US and I would never move back to England with my kids so young and take them so far away from their dad. Nope, I'm in the US for the long haul like it or not (I do love the US btw). But I can't help thinking how easy it would be to start an affair. An occassional thing with no strings.
Unless your marriage is salvageable, you have a tough decision either way.
You can stay with him and be a prisoner in your marriage, or you can get a divorce and move on. If my parents did not love each other, I would always hope they would get a divorce.
Unless your marriage is salvageable, you have a tough decision either way.
You can stay with him and be a prisoner in your marriage, or you can get a divorce and move on. If my parents did not love each other, I would always hope they would get a divorce.
I think I do have some tough decisions to make. I married a man much older than me at a time in my life when I needed stability and a way forward. I rushed into marriage. Then I grew up, changed a lot, got a career and personality and realized that I can take care of myself. My husband recently suggested after a big argument that I should move out and be by myself as that's what I seemed to want. But I didn't have the heart or the courage to say that he might be right. And what would my kids do? They adore their dad.
So far, only Avienne has given you any decent advise. No, your not stupid, your not nuts. God put the attraction between man and woman to ensure just what your feeling-- the continuiation of his people. But , now He's also given you and your husband spouses ( literally, slaves of each other ), to have, hold, .....! So , your spouse is cheating on you ( through porn addiction ) YES-- it is cheating ! His sexyal appetites, which should be controlled , are owned and to be possessed by you ! Likewise, your sexual appetites, which also should be controlled, are owned and possessed by him ! Because he is sinning against : God's law ( pornographic stimulus ) , You ( the marriage vow- exclusivity ), the children ( father, role model, amd mentor ), and himself ( self-abuse, deprecating his nature to that of an animal, destroying the God-given joys and pleasures of an intimate act ), you can not possibly think that it would be okay to commit your own set of sins, and bring more curses down upon your family ! Rather, be brave , upright, and womanly in all you do ! Forgive him , pray he repents, and God blesses him again to appreciate and love you and your bed, and work and pray that the children don't hear of , endorse, accept, or follow his bad example. But, in tthe least-- don't you be a cause for scandal to these children-- or anyone else ( eg co-workers, the other guy-- his family, etc. ). And be ware-- travelling men have temptations all their own ! The devil will convince him that there is a big disconnect over the ocean that keeps all his playing around here, never letting it drift back home ! That's a lie ! If he's willing to violate his wife with you , he'll probably not be too concerned about violating both of youi with someone else, somewhere else ! Do you really want to do to him ( wreak his home ) what the pornographic publishers and distributors are doing to your home ? I think not !
So far, only Avienne has given you any decent advise. No, your not stupid, your not nuts. God put the attraction between man and woman to ensure just what your feeling-- the continuiation of his people. But , now He's also given you and your husband spouses ( literally, slaves of each other ), to have, hold, .....! So , your spouse is cheating on you ( through porn addiction ) YES-- it is cheating ! His sexyal appetites, which should be controlled , are owned and to be possessed by you ! Likewise, your sexual appetites, which also should be controlled, are owned and possessed by him ! Because he is sinning against : God's law ( pornographic stimulus ) , You ( the marriage vow- exclusivity ), the children ( father, role model, amd mentor ), and himself ( self-abuse, deprecating his nature to that of an animal, destroying the God-given joys and pleasures of an intimate act ), you can not possibly think that it would be okay to commit your own set of sins, and bring more curses down upon your family ! Rather, be brave , upright, and womanly in all you do ! Forgive him , pray he repents, and God blesses him again to appreciate and love you and your bed, and work and pray that the children don't hear of , endorse, accept, or follow his bad example. But, in tthe least-- don't you be a cause for scandal to these children-- or anyone else ( eg co-workers, the other guy-- his family, etc. ). And be ware-- travelling men have temptations all their own ! The devil will convince him that there is a big disconnect over the ocean that keeps all his playing around here, never letting it drift back home ! That's a lie ! If he's willing to violate his wife with you , he'll probably not be too concerned about violating both of youi with someone else, somewhere else ! Do you really want to do to him ( wreak his home ) what the pornographic publishers and distributors are doing to your home ? I think not !
The hellfire and brimstone sermon won't work on me. I am not religious. I know adultery is wrong because it hurts others, not because I own my husband’s sexuality and definitely not because he owns me.
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