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I only assume that a man won't commit because he really doesn't want me. Isn't that common sense?
Yep. "I don't want to commit" really means, "I don't want to commit to YOU."
I just wish more women understood that. So many of them who want marriage hang around waiting for it. Then when they break up, six months, maybe a year later the guy is engaged to someone else. Happens all the time.
When you meet a woman, and you date her, what are the reasons that you (or other guys you know) would string her along (and by this I mean, for months) rather than be in an exclusive committed relationship with her?
Is it because you're afraid she'll tie you down/afraid of losing your "freedom"? possibly
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Is it because she doesn't have that "it" factor that would make you want to settle down? possibly
----------------------------------- Is it because there are so many women out there, you shouldn't have to settle down with just one? no
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Is it because you're holding out for the possibility that you might find someone you like a lot more than you like her? refer to question 2
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Is it because she's allowing you to string her along? well yes or no, depends on the guy and how upfront honest he is, I don't string women along.
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Is it because you're keeping her on the back burner for when you're bored while you actively pursue your first choice who is more of a challenge? no
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Or if it's none of these, then please tell me... Also, what is it that makes you WANT to commit?
Rather than answer what might make me want to commit, I'll expand on your questions why he might resist commitment. He may be afraid of let down, he may be jaded after seeing too many other guys get taken to the cleaners financially and emotionally or it happened to him before. He may have important things in his life that marriage and family would interrupt. He might realize that financially taking on a family will be straining, thus increasing the odds of the relationship ending in disaster anyway,specially taking on a wife with 2 or 3 kids from another guy/other guys.
Yep. "I don't want to commit" really means, "I don't want to commit to YOU."
I just wish more women understood that. So many of them who want marriage hang around waiting for it. Then when they break up, six months, maybe a year later the guy is engaged to someone else. Happens all the time.
I disagree. There are many men who have no intention of committing to ANYONE. They play the game to get what they want and when she gets tired of it, he simply moves on to someone else.
I disagree. There are many men who have no intention of committing to ANYONE. They play the game to get what they want and when she gets tired of it, he simply moves on to someone else.
I've never met a man who wanted to die alone. Eventually, they all come around.
I disagree. There are many men who have no intention of committing to ANYONE. They play the game to get what they want and when she gets tired of it, he simply moves on to someone else.
id say there are quite a few but its not the norm. there are plenty of guys out there that will commit once they find the right girl. its just a matter of finding her. we may not even know what we're looking for exactly then she smacks into us out of no where like walking into a brick wall. until that happens it just seems like they have commitment issues
i found her once, **** hit the fan, now im still looking. been out with tons of girls but none have had a giant spark that makes me want to stick around long term. but i know it exists somewhere
most guys problem is they are just too afraid to be honest and tell a girl where she stands to him
I've never met a man who wanted to die alone. Eventually, they all come around.
Nah, I have several male cousins who are now in their 50s and 60s and they never married. They aren't alone -- they always have girlfriends hanging around, even at this age!
You don't have to "commit" to have someone around. I actually know of many elderly couples who aren't married and aren't living together but are constant companions. I've even read that there's a worrisome rise in STDs among the elderly! It's part of the fallout from Viagra!
Yep. "I don't want to commit" really means, "I don't want to commit to YOU."
I agree with you. It's sad to see women who allow to be strung along in this manner. I may have more pride than needed, but all these "dating other people," needing space," "needing time to think" deals won't work with me. Either you're with me or you're not! End of story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by teatime
I disagree. There are many men who have no intention of committing to ANYONE. They play the game to get what they want and when she gets tired of it, he simply moves on to someone else.
It is unnatural. I have met a woman who I cared for deeply; who I respected and admired as a woman, inside and out. I saw her at her weakest state and still admired her. But alas, sexually, I wanted something new constantly. It's the natural predisposition of man. She wanted me to curb that desire, and I didn't want to; I feel it is biologically incorrect. That is to say, I don't want to have lived having passed up incredible sexual opportunity with gorgeous women all because another would get jealous. To me, this is biologically illogical.
So, I cannot, and will not, commit. I'm not thrilled about this; I've met women who are better than me and yet find a reason to care about me (gold-diggers, as I have money? Who knows, ultimately). But alas, I feel it is insane to request a man have but one sexual partner.
Nah, I have several male cousins who are now in their 50s and 60s and they never married. They aren't alone -- they always have girlfriends hanging around, even at this age!
Is it possible that more of your the men in your family don't have the "standard" male instinct which leads to the desire of a monogamous woman and fatherhood? Maybe your family is unique compared to the norm.
It is unnatural. I have met a woman who I cared for deeply; who I respected and admired as a woman, inside and out. I saw her at her weakest state and still admired her. But alas, sexually, I wanted something new constantly. It's the natural predisposition of man. She wanted me to curb that desire, and I didn't want to; I feel it is biologically incorrect. That is to say, I don't want to have lived having passed up incredible sexual opportunity with gorgeous women all because another would get jealous. To me, this is biologically illogical.
So, I cannot, and will not, commit. I'm not thrilled about this; I've met women who are better than me and yet find a reason to care about me (gold-diggers, as I have money? Who knows, ultimately). But alas, I feel it is insane to request a man have but one sexual partner.
To be fair to yourself, "care for deeply" and "admired" isn't the same thing as being in love. Why don't you let yourself live a little before making definitive statements like "I cannot and will not commit." See what happens and how you feel as the years go by and you interact with more women.
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