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Old 03-20-2010, 12:27 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Humble View Post
When I was in my '20's, new in town, one of my first flings was with a woman about ten years my senior. She was a musician, actress, teacher and closet exhibitionist. She had a kid, a single mom, and until me had only had sex with two other guys, one she married. She had librarian looks, pretty, built, blond, but she was a true free spirit just dying to get out. The sex just clicked, we all know how that can be, when you're into something that takes on a life of its own, neither of you have a real grasp of why it is so good, but it just is and nobody's complaining. The first time we had sex was atop Mulholland Dr. overlooking the lights of L.A. She was so into it she dropped her jeans before I had even brought my "A" game. We were alone up there of course; no one would ever accuse me of being old-fashioned, but I have humility at least and consideration for those who may not want to be unwilling spectators. But the prospect of an audience didn't make her blush. In fact, it only got her hotter and she was ready to play it out right there in front of the bermuda short wearing family of tourists. I wouldn't, I couldn't, just couldn't see how this would not end in disaster, or at least police intervention, and I would find to my borderline horror and undeniable intrigue that this would be a pattern. We only saw each other for a few months, but it was often during that time that I would be already into it before I realized that without my noticing, she had opened the floor length curtains in my street level apartment. Believe it or not, she was an excellent mother, and very old fashioned in all other ways.
Wow, a conservative reserved single mother with a fetish of getting off when people watch her have sex! That's a good one.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:28 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Hallelujah!

That about covers ME. Now, about those crazy gals I've been with...

...yep. They were crazy. As a loon. And as W.C. Fields once said,

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

...I tend to like those with high degrees. Makes life more...interesting. It usually burns out quickly, but oh how brightly it DOES burn!
Of course! If everyone was normal, it would sure make for a much more boring life.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:28 PM
 
20,730 posts, read 19,392,808 times
Reputation: 8295
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Yes, me too! I wonder why...

Here on Relationships
Drooling, snarling lips lacking graces
And out comes the Gas of Woe from behind my hips.
Instead of smearing it on the thread.





...what's not to like???

I only wish I had mastered punctuation earlier when I wrote:

I am relieved. You are here.

If only I didn't have tissue on my heel perhaps...
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:29 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Me .
However they stopped torturing me when I stopped reading.

For some reason the girls did not like my overtures...

The dog odor blanket or the cold.
You warm me like a wretched thing...

I've read your poems, you are quite good. Anyway, somehow a tortured poet found himself the right match.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,221,103 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Wow, a conservative reserved single mother with a fetish of getting off when people watch her have sex! That's a good one.
Isn't it? I bet it had NEVER happened before or since!
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:34 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Isn't it? I bet it had NEVER happened before or since!
Of course it happened before, I just never heard of the story told firsthand.
And Mr. Humble - it was told beautifully.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,637,941 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
I only wish I had mastered punctuation earlier when I wrote:

I am relieved. You are here.

If only I didn't have tissue on my heel perhaps...
T'would have been a boon, M'lord.

For some reason, this didn't go over very well...

Before I met you, the sun looked like a grape.
Now the sun looks like a mass of flames.
Speaking of flames,
Have you felt the heat of the flames
Of my love for you?
Assuming you have, did it make you uncomfortable?
If not, would you please fan those flames
With the constant reassurance that you also love me?
Although you probably don't love me,
Because nobody ever has, or will.
I have this irrational hope that perhaps you could be the one,
To finally bring a little light to my pathetic life,
To love me for who I am,
And believe in me,
Even though I don't believe in myself,
Because I'm not actually sure if I exist
Or if I'm the figment of someone else's imagination.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:38 PM
 
2,179 posts, read 3,407,830 times
Reputation: 2598
Quote:
Originally Posted by sierraAZ View Post
Isn't it? I bet it had NEVER happened before or since!
I'm sure it's happened before, since, and at the same time to others; just the first and the last time it ever happened to me. How 'bout yourself?
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:41 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Humble View Post
I'm sure it's happened before, since, and at the same time to others; just the first and the last time it ever happened to me. How 'bout yourself?
Good question. Let's hear Sierra sharing a story.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:42 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,396,612 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
T'would have been a boon, M'lord.

For some reason, this didn't go over very well...

Before I met you, the sun looked like a grape.
Now the sun looks like a mass of flames.
Speaking of flames,
Have you felt the heat of the flames
Of my love for you?
Assuming you have, did it make you uncomfortable?
If not, would you please fan those flames
With the constant reassurance that you also love me?
Although you probably don't love me,
Because nobody ever has, or will.
I have this irrational hope that perhaps you could be the one,
To finally bring a little light to my pathetic life,
To love me for who I am,
And believe in me,
Even though I don't believe in myself,
Because I'm not actually sure if I exist
Or if I'm the figment of someone else's imagination.

Beautifully written, but full of desperation and insecurities. Maybe that's why?
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