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To make a long story short, I came home early from a business trip and I caught my then girlfriend in bed with another man. Needless to say, I was furious. Apparently the cheating had been going on for a few months. It had been a 3-year relationship and I never saw this coming. I was in complete shock.
I ordered the man out of the house and told my girlfriend that she had 30 minutes to gather all of her belongings and never return (I fully own the house, she had just been periodically staying there time to time). It was very painful doing so, but I knew it was what I had to do. Once you can't trust someone, you have nothing.
Anyway, here's my question. I'm relatively strong 6' 180 and can bench around 305. I'm not the best fighter in the country, but I'm pretty good, I've won a few local and statewide Tae-Kwon-Do tournaments. Would I have legally been able to beat the crap out of the home-wrecker guy? I really wanted to teach him a lesson right there, was angry enough where I was about to, but then decided that he was not worth getting into trouble over. I figured it would probably be illegal. Keep in mind that I am not a violent person and have not been in a fist fight since I was 12 years old.
I started wondering: What my rights would have been in this situation? Would he have been considered a trespasser / intruder given that he was invited into the house, but obviously not welcome by the house owner? Would physically fighting with him have been against the law?
I have not seen either one of them since that day, and plan on never seeing either person again. But sometimes I think back and regret not at least punching the guy.....
Should I have done more? What would you have done if you were me? What would be the right thing to do in this situation?
Well, she may have just picked the guy up at a bar or told him she was house sitting for you, that you were her cousin etc.
With that said, it's a good way to get sued by some guy who might have no idea of the truth. Or shot....or arrested for felony assault if you hit him just right....lose your house and perhaps job!
Seriously, that guy did you a HUGE favor in getting away from the skank before you wasted more time on her or had a kid! You should regret not buying him a case of beer and thanking him.
But you'd be reacting to the wrong person. She is the one you have the relationship with not him so if she doesn't give a squat or show any respect or regard for your relationship why would you expect him to. You have no relationship with this man - only her. I never get why people always get mad at the OTHER person instead of the person they are with. She could have told him anything about who owned or lived in that house - you don't know.
But you'd be reacting to the wrong person. She is the one you have the relationship with not him so if she doesn't give a squat or show any respect or regard for your relationship why would you expect him to. You have no relationship with this man - only her. I never get why people always get mad at the OTHER person instead of the person they are with. She could have told him anything about who owned or lived in that house - you don't know.
I'm an irrational no-nonsense guy. I usually deal with raw straight emotions, whimsy and annoyance. What you are saying is 100% right, but c'est la vie.
Well one caveat I would suggest is anytime you have someone in your house you are not married to you better check the laws on common law marriage and such. At least when I was in Colorado, it was only six months living together and you were common law married, unless you gave them a "certificate of occupancy"(whatever it was called).
I'm no lawyer, but for anyone out there that lets people have access to their house, especially if they are bunking there, I'd know the law and your rights and their rights.
I'd say in this case since your girlfriend invited him in, then blowing him away probably isn't going to fly with a jury. Now if he attacked you then that's another deal.
And really I wouldn't be pissed at him at all, it's the looney girlfriend that needs the boot in the rear. If it wasn't that guy, it would have been another.
Once upon a time, in the great state of Texas, it was legal to shoot the wife's lover and some believe it's ok to shoot the wife too. That has changed long time ago.
Why were you angry at the guy not your woman? She's the one you really should be mad about.
I think you did the right thing by not doing anything but kicking her out on her ear.. She deserved that.. you are right in saying that it would have caused you more trouble then what she was worth to hit that guy.. in my eyes you did the right thing.
Well, she may have just picked the guy up at a bar or told him she was house sitting for you, that you were her cousin etc.
With that said, it's a good way to get sued by some guy who might have no idea of the truth. Or shot....or arrested for felony assault if you hit him just right....lose your house and perhaps job!
Seriously, that guy did you a HUGE favor in getting away from the skank before you wasted more time on her or had a kid! You should regret not buying him a case of beer and thanking him.
I like the way you put it Mathguy, that's a good perspective to look at it from. However, I don't think I'll be sending the a-hole a case of beer anytime soon
Logically, it was probably for the best since we were talking about marriage in the near future. Since this had been going on for awhile, I can only assume the guy knew that my girlfriend was in a relationship and didn't care that he was wrecking a home. That's what makes me angry at him. Also, to do that in my own house... let's just say disrespectful is a mild way of describing his actions.
Well one caveat I would suggest is anytime you have someone in your house you are not married to you better check the laws on common law marriage and such. At least when I was in Colorado, it was only six months living together and you were common law married, unless you gave them a "certificate of occupancy"(whatever it was called).
That's total crap. It's not enough to live together -- you also have to "hold out" as husband and wife.
I like the way you put it Mathguy, that's a good perspective to look at it from. However, I don't think I'll be sending the a-hole a case of beer anytime soon
Logically, it was probably for the best since we were talking about marriage in the near future. Since this had been going on for awhile, I can only assume the guy knew that my girlfriend was in a relationship and didn't care that he was wrecking a home. That's what makes me angry at him. Also, to do that in my own house... let's just say disrespectful is a mild way of describing his actions.
I think what many people have been trying to call your attention to is that HE didn't wreck your home SHE did. No one from the outside can wreck a home unless they are invited to do so. He's not a homewrecker she is.
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You should regret not buying him a case of beer and thanking him.
