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Thanks for the reply. I'm sure most newcomers to the thread don't have time to read all 26 pages but there's a long saga there. And this is all a very short period of time. Believe it or not, it was just TWO WEEKS ago today that she said she wanted out of the engagement, and 2 weeks from tomorrow I was tipped off about the affair. So really only 13 days since I found out she had been lying and cheating.
But since then, all her stuff has been packed, garaged, and tomorrow she'll be by with a truck to get the rest of it. Done and done.
I'm a nice guy, just ended up with the wrong girls unfortunately. Still hurts to see someone capable of doing it to you regardless. Very selfish, evil behavior. I feel sorry for her having to live with her actions which I can't help but think will one day weigh heavy on her if not already. Unless she and OM live happily ever after and she makes a better life for herself than she could have with me. As of right now though I think the only thing that will make her happy is someone with a lot of money and someone who lets her drink alcohol as much as she wants whenever she wants.
I just started reading the thread when I realized it is many pages long. Lol. A little late to the party I am.
You seem like a very nice, level-headed guy...and a good catch too.
Take comfort in the fact that most likely her cheating will probably not get her a long term relationship with the guy. He is likely to do the same to her sometime down the road.
Did you thank her friends for giving you the heads up?
Thank goodness you found out NOW what a piece of work she is, before the marriage and before children were involved.
Yeah I am thankful but I in a weird way thank her for it too, after the affair and the guilt built up she tried to break it off a few times which I thought were just jitters but then finally I got the "the wedding is off, I can't do it" 2 weeks ago, which was her doing, not mine, then the next day learned of the affair from the friend, which I did appreciate. Until then she had attempted to walk the fence and even asked if we could try to work things out and stay together in counseling.
It wouldn't have lasted anyway because when I saw the phone bill which arrived a week later I would have known.
We never planned to have kids, but all the same, a breakup, even after a bunch of wedding invites had gone out, was very public which I hated...But better than post-marriage.
Ok, I read every single reply. Whew. As a woman, I have got to give her credit for the mind games she is trying to play on you. She honestly sounds like she is bipolar or something. Good riddance. If she doesn't get her stuff out tomorrow, I would honestly get some buddies, put her stuff in a storage unit with 30 days paid, send her a registered letter with receipt requested, or give her a letter in person that tells her you have placed her stuff in storage for safe keeping with 30 days to get it out. I am no lawyer, but I watch a ton of people's court lol. It seems you have to give your former tenant adequate notice before tossing their stuff. I think putting it in storage is pretty cut and dry, and you also don't have to deal with her. I would send her a text telling her you don't want to deal with her mail anymore and talk to the postmaster about what to do with it.
The sooner you get the messaging out of the way, the better for you. You need to be very, very selfish right now.
It must have taken you all day to read the thread. Thanks for your reply.
I really love expressing myself this way as I seem to do a little better with typing anyway, and I'm not a shy person, so what you read here, is what you get. I don't lie, I haven't made anything up, or embellished, but only basically typed what's been happening. Of course even more happened before I posted this thread, but still, I appreciate you taking the time to go through it all.
Bipolar is not at all unlikely. She has said it runs in her family. She has family members diagnosed with it. It's a shame really. She is an absolutely beautiful girl on the outside, with some major demons on the inside. When she is loving, and affectionate, she is wonderful, on the other side, when she is drunk, or feels crossed or threatened, a total nightmare.
As I have posted before, I will miss her kind moments, her beauty, her smile, and her humor. I will not miss her rage, her addictions, her unreasonableness, and in the end, her deception.
There was been no problem with her getting her things, and looking at what's left, one pickup truck run should do it tomorrow if all goes as planned. I will leave the garage wide open and be upstairs, out back on my deck. Nowhere near the situation. The plan is for for her and whatever crew she brings, be it OM or otherwise, to show, load, and drive off, without a fuss. I have good faith that's how it will work. I haven't communicated otherwise but it's pretty self-explanatory.
I don't expect to need to do court, lawyers, storage units, etc. I fully expect it to be 100% over after tomorrow. But you know you'll hear the honest report from me tomorrow.
I am sorry for your pain. She is what she is, not what you want her to be. At least you didn't have kids with her. Imagine having to send your kids off to live with her, her drunkenness, her men, and her attitude. There is a good woman out there for you.
Got another e-mail this morning to confirm we are still "on" for tonight with a bunch of questions (do you have my xxxxx, and xxxxx) and more friendly banter. Says "my roommate" will be by with the truck and I might be a little earlier (so I assume OM might be her "roommate" what a laugh, but I don't care to see him or know, I am going to just be out back on my deck ignoring the situation). She is starting to ask questions like a friend would ask. I don't want to be friends with her. I hope she gets that. I just have this feeling that after this is all over, if she runs into a problem or something she'll feel like she can just write me with a "can you help me with..." type friendly question or something. My plan will be just to totally ignore it. I mean come on. At least once she gets her stuff out of the house, I have no obligation to answer her calls or mails anymore. I just hope she has EVERYTHING out of here. There were indeed a few things we forgot this morning that I had to go add to her stuff pile. I hope there's not any more discovered down the road.
Hurry up and get this over with, please! Need to have no contact!!!
Why does it bug me so much that she is being so passive and conversational about all this? Making comments, LOLs, and asking questions like it's just a couple of friends exchanging a regular old email...I don't get it! Does she actually think we can remain casual friends or something?
I mean I am all for civil but why is she being so casual and conversational? Ugh.
I mean I am all for civil but why is she being so casual and conversational? Ugh.
Well maybe it is just a front. She might be putting on a front to show you she is strong and okay, just like you were probably doing when she came over.
I wouldn't let it get to you, nor should you waiver on closing the doors to her after she is gone.
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