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Hanging around a playground will make you look creepy. Getting a degree in teaching or early childhood education will allow you to work around kids and meet a lot of young moms, many of whom will be single.
Hanging around a playground will make you look creepy. Getting a degree in teaching or early childhood education will allow you to work around kids and meet a lot of young moms, many of whom will be single.
Umm..well I like to do outdoor things and I do. Some of the times when I go up to a women she will either be taken or not looking. It's not that I believe her when she says she isn't looking. I think they just expect to be wiped off their feet. Which I don't know how to do. The past three gf's have all been girls who approached me or gave me a very clear sign that they wanted to go out with me. They all broke up with me. None gave me a reason except for one. She told me I was a bummer to be around with.
I don't really know why she thought I was a bummer? I am not really sad or happy. I am content with life and I smile and crack jokes every now and then. I don't really have a lot of friends. Actually I have one friend and we haven't talked in awhile(1.5yrs). So if being friends counts to how much you talk with eachother then I have no friends. I don't really get along with my family.
I sometimes can be very anti-social and not go out for days. I apreciate any help but ya know. It's very hard when girls play hard to get or just don't want to know you because you don't fit their image of ideal guy.
Well, it sounds like you must be attractive and actually have pretty good luck meeting women if you’ve had 3 girlfriends, all of whom approached you and made it clear that they wanted to go out with you. It doesn’t sound like girls are playing “hard to get” with you.
Obviously, I don’t know you at all, but you might need to take a hint from the girl who said you were a bummer to hang around with. Ask yourself these questions and be honest: Do you complain a lot? Do you blame other people for your problems? Do you compare yourself unfavorably with other people? Are you seeking to better yourself, or are you stuck in a dead-end job you hate? Are you excited about new things and experiences, or are you afraid to do new things? If any of those are true, you might very well be a bummer to hang out with. It’s no fun to spend time with someone who whines and complains all the time.
I know it’s a cliche these days, but saying you don’t get along with your family, you haven’t talked to your only friend in 1 ½ years and you can be anti-social and not go out for days makes me wonder if you’re depressed. You might need to address that issue before you can find someone to share your life with.
At the very least, if you’re not suffering from depression, you’re going to have to think about what you have to offer to a relationship and not just what you’re going to get out of a relationship. For most women, it’s not a matter of wanting to be swept off their feet or looking for an ideal guy, it’s more wanting to be with someone who is a good partner and part of that is being cheerful and optimistic and wanting something out of life.
Well, it sounds like you must be attractive and actually have pretty good luck meeting women if you’ve had 3 girlfriends, all of whom approached you and made it clear that they wanted to go out with you. It doesn’t sound like girls are playing “hard to get” with you.
I don't think I am that good looking or have much atttraction to attract women. First gf was very hard too please and demanding so I broke it off. Second gf was suicidal(cutter) and that wasn't extremely distracting to me. Third gf(bummer one) had a child. So were these girls very insecure about themselves or what? Maybe not the one with the child. She wasn't insecure but she told me I wasn't the one.
Quote:
Obviously, I don’t know you at all, but you might need to take a hint from the girl who said you were a bummer to hang around with. Ask yourself these questions and be honest: Do you complain a lot? Do you blame other people for your problems? Do you compare yourself unfavorably with other people? Are you seeking to better yourself, or are you stuck in a dead-end job you hate? Are you excited about new things and experiences, or are you afraid to do new things? If any of those are true, you might very well be a bummer to hang out with. It’s no fun to spend time with someone who whines and complains all the time.
I sometimes compare myself to some one else and wish I had that.
I like to try new things. I will try them at least once and if i like it then more. I know I don't whine or complain. Very little whining and complaining comes from me. Sometimes I am referred to as a wall.
Quote:
I know it’s a cliche these days, but saying you don’t get along with your family, you haven’t talked to your only friend in 1 ½ years and you can be anti-social and not go out for days makes me wonder if you’re depressed. You might need to address that issue before you can find someone to share your life with.
At the very least, if you’re not suffering from depression, you’re going to have to think about what you have to offer to a relationship and not just what you’re going to get out of a relationship. For most women, it’s not a matter of wanting to be swept off their feet or looking for an ideal guy, it’s more wanting to be with someone who is a good partner and part of that is being cheerful and optimistic and wanting something out of life.
Ask yourself these questions and be honest: Do you complain a lot? Do you blame other people for your problems? Do you compare yourself unfavorably with other people? Are you seeking to better yourself, or are you stuck in a dead-end job you hate? Are you excited about new things and experiences, or are you afraid to do new things? If any of those are true, you might very well be a bummer to hang out with. It’s no fun to spend time with someone who whines and complains all the time.
I know it’s a cliche these days, but saying you don’t get along with your family, you haven’t talked to your only friend in 1 ½ years and you can be anti-social and not go out for days makes me wonder if you’re depressed. You might need to address that issue before you can find someone to share your life with.
At the very least, if you’re not suffering from depression, you’re going to have to think about what you have to offer to a relationship and not just what you’re going to get out of a relationship. For most women, it’s not a matter of wanting to be swept off their feet or looking for an ideal guy, it’s more wanting to be with someone who is a good partner and part of that is being cheerful and optimistic and wanting something out of life.
Excellent advice, Marlow.
What you have described sounds like my ex-bf to a T...whom I am still friends with and still hear on a regular basis how awful his life is. He complains about his mom, his job, his house, neighborhood, that he doesn't have a gf...you name it...it's also a big reason I split up with him. I couldn't handle all the negativity and whining. To me it's a major turn-off when a guy complains all the time and especially about his mom/family.
It's to the point now that I cringe when I see his name come across my caller ID...I'm afraid it's going to be an hour or more of the same old thing...and he doesn't do anything about it to help himself. I don't feel sorry for him at all.
I'll listen to him and give my 2 cents...but it usually falls on deaf ears.
Now it's to the point where I don't choose to talk to him.
I've tried to tell him that unless he changes his ways and attitude he will not attract good things in his life much less a gf.
**To the original poster...Marlow has posted some really good thoughts...good luck to you. **
Mexi--not knowing you at all makes it really impossible to know what's going on with you and I don't mean to sound like I do know. But it seems like you meet women who want to date you. In one post you said all 3 broke up with you and in the last post you said you broke up with the first 2, so it's a little hard to be sure what your story is, but in any case, the gist of my original post is that before you can be in a good relationship, you need to be comfortable in your skin and happy with yourself. That is the sort of person who attracts other people.
CBTB--I've known people like that too. One of my ex-bf's had a roommate who was attractive, employed, college-educated and well-read, but really miserable about everything. He talked in a monotone and seemed determined not to be happy or excited by anything. He used to say, "I know I'm attractive, why can't I find anyone to date?" but we didn't have the heart to tell him "Because you're such a bummer!" In looking back, I'm sure he was depressed and would have benefitted from therapy and/or medication. I know it galled him no end that his roommate (my bf) was short, older, had a real hick accent (we're in Texas) and had never gone to college, but had me for a girlfriend (I was a young, tall, skinny blond back then) and a whole bunch of other friends. But--he was friendly, funny, outspoken, up for anything and never hesitated to help a friend or stranger. In short--he was fun.
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