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ok . So how many of you can/would deal with this as in often being put on the back burner by your special other because he/she has something else to their attention? It isn't that I don't love you, it is just there is something in my life I love besides you, get it?
I thought it was just me that I was not seeing the possibility of balance. I know musicians with family and they still play, although the ones I know that do basically play what they already know, don't really have time to get better. I recently asked this on a guitar forum and it seems I am right. Most guys responded......
" what time to play?, my kids/wife take up a lot of my time"
"oh yeah dude, been there, my girl was first ok with it at first but grew jealous of my guitar"
That was the responses. The only guys that did say yes they have a lot of free time to play were the guys single or with a girlfriend that is in a band or is a artist painting or going to school or something. Something that makes her occupied a lot.
In my case, it is not like I am going to school but that will eventually end, and then time will be more available. It will never end with me. Unless I either give up the one thing that makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose in life, or I win the lotto and don't have to work all day and will have all this free time all the time.
Hey if you have kids, well that is a different matter. I can understand that taking up your time but I am talking about a no kids situation.
I can't imagine many people (male or female) would sign up for a relationship knowing that they will always have to take the back seat to a guitar.
Just like someone who has to be with their SO all the time to feel secure and fulfilled is unbalance, so is someone who has to be with a guitar all the time to feel secure and fulfilled.
From your other post...
Quote:
But I am not giving up myself for the sake of a woman, did that before and never again.
Being involved in a relationship shouldn't mean giving up yourself, it is enhancing, expanding, being willing to grow yourself enough to include some one else. It seems you are willing to do that for your guitar but not for a SO...so be it.
ok . So how many of you can/would deal with this as in often being put on the back burner by your special other because he/she has something else to their attention? It isn't that I don't love you, it is just there is something in my life I love besides you, get it?
I thought it was just me that I was not seeing the possibility of balance. I know musicians with family and they still play, although the ones I know that do basically play what they already know, don't really have time to get better. I recently asked this on a guitar forum and it seems I am right. Most guys responded......
" what time to play?, my kids/wife take up a lot of my time"
"oh yeah dude, been there, my girl was first ok with it at first but grew jealous of my guitar"
That was the responses. The only guys that did say yes they have a lot of free time to play were the guys single or with a girlfriend that is in a band or is a artist painting or going to school or something. Something that makes her occupied a lot.
In my case, it is not like I am going to school but that will eventually end, and then time will be more available. It will never end with me. Unless I either give up the one thing that makes me feel like I have some sort of purpose in life, or I win the lotto and don't have to work all day and will have all this free time all the time.
Hey if you have kids, well that is a different matter. I can understand that taking up your time but I am talking about a no kids situation.
Well there's your issue. Unless you find a person that makes you feel that way, then you will simply need to settle for a relationship that is less, and that usually means, short term.
Loving someone so much that you want to spend as much time as you can with them, doesn't mean you give up yourself. I love my BF, but I surely couldn't be happy unless I had my "me time" and was able to get the things done that I need to do in order to feel content with myself.
You set your priorities based on what is most important to you. Right now, I'd say yours are just fine for what makes you happy.
Hey if you have kids, well that is a different matter. I can understand that taking up your time but I am talking about a no kids situation.
You had my sincere sympathy until I got to this sentence. If you think that your relationship with a spouse is somehow LESS important than kids, then I seriously suggest that you remain single forever.
So apparently I'm illiterate and was the only one who didn't get it.
No, I would not put up with that. I am very (very) no nonsense when it comes to the time spent in a relationship. If you want to be with me then you are with me. It's more than an agreement to be together, it's a commitment. Aside from work, if you are spending more time doing something else than you are spending time with me - deal breaker.
You had my sincere sympathy until I got to this sentence. If you think that your relationship with a spouse is somehow LESS important than kids, then I seriously suggest that you remain single forever.
20yrsinBranson
blissfully childfree
Yes, your kid if you have one is more important than you or the special other. It is why I remained "childfree" and shy away from a woman with kids. Isn't it why we often read replies to a person thinking about getting a divorce "think of the kids". Isn't it why so many who want a divorce don't because of the kids? Some do go ahead and split, a good many don't.
People may have been divorced 5 times, maybe with kids, they refer to the divorced as "ex", they don't refer to the kids as "ex". So seems to me, yes, kids are more important than the special other in the grand scheme.
So apparently I'm illiterate and was the only one who didn't get it.
No, I would not put up with that. I am very (very) no nonsense when it comes to the time spent in a relationship. If you want to be with me then you are with me. It's more than an agreement to be together, it's a commitment. Aside from work, if you are spending more time doing something else than you are spending time with me - deal breaker.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder......lmao I need to hang out with my boyfriend too.
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