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I want to have "prayers" and to sit down and say them and KNOW they're the right thing to say and that somebody is hearing them.
I want to feel important. I do want to feel like somebody "made" me purposefully, simply because humans are so uber-cool and I'm one of them.
I want to believe that when they die, truly awful people, albeit in my definition (even if that definition matches that of many other people), get punished somehow and that people who are good get some sort of reward for their day-to-day earthly sufferings.
I want to believe that there's something bigger than myself. One thing. One big thing. (I guess I already said "big.")
I want to feel...not alone. Like there's a reason. A purpose.
But...
I can not seem to get a grip on "believing in God" and "choosing" a religion. Period. I can't do it. I have tried for so, so, so many years. From the time I was very little, I told myself (and everyone else) that I believed in God. For a while that was the Christian God or at least my interpretation of Him. For a while it was the Goddess. It's been Hindu god names...Celtic god names...etc.
But I never TRULY felt I was telling the truth to whomever God was, nor was I telling the truth to myself.
I don't know if I believe in God. At all.
This puts me in a horribly, horribly, horribly lonely place. I can't describe it. And I don't know what to believe anymore. This is all quite serious, folks. I'm not being facetious or trying to make a point.
I am lonely. Because I don't have a God. No matter how I try...I don't have one. Not for real. I just can't seem to outright "believe"...except when I'm VERY scared of bad things that could happen after death. And WTH is that? Not love, that's for sure!
I'm certain a few people will say, "Why do you feel the need to believe in some skygod in order to feel like you're not alone?" and the answer to that is: I don't know why. I really don't know. I don't consider myself a stupid person. I think constantly. It's frightening how much of my day I spend thinking, pondering, wondering...about everything. I DO know how to think; I'm not a puppet and never have been, particularly to a religion. So: I don't know why I feel this way.
I shouldn't be lonely, God or no God. I have a family. But I am. I am so, so, so indescribably sad. Somebody help me through this. I just don't know how to feel. I just feel all alone...the person who doesn't have a God.
I want to have "prayers" and to sit down and say them and KNOW they're the right thing to say and that somebody is hearing them.
I want to feel important. I do want to feel like somebody "made" me purposefully, simply because humans are so uber-cool and I'm one of them.
I want to believe that when they die, truly awful people, albeit in my definition (even if that definition matches that of many other people), get punished somehow and that people who are good get some sort of reward for their day-to-day earthly sufferings.
I want to believe that there's something bigger than myself. One thing. One big thing. (I guess I already said "big.")
I want to feel...not alone. Like there's a reason. A purpose.
But...
I can not seem to get a grip on "believing in God" and "choosing" a religion. Period. I can't do it. I have tried for so, so, so many years. From the time I was very little, I told myself (and everyone else) that I believed in God. For a while that was the Christian God or at least my interpretation of Him. For a while it was the Goddess. It's been Hindu god names...Celtic god names...etc.
But I never TRULY felt I was telling the truth to whomever God was, nor was I telling the truth to myself.
I don't know if I believe in God. At all.
This puts me in a horribly, horribly, horribly lonely place. I can't describe it. And I don't know what to believe anymore. This is all quite serious, folks. I'm not being facetious or trying to make a point.
I am lonely. Because I don't have a God. No matter how I try...I don't have one. Not for real. I just can't seem to outright "believe"...except when I'm VERY scared of bad things that could happen after death. And WTH is that? Not love, that's for sure!
I'm certain a few people will say, "Why do you feel the need to believe in some skygod in order to feel like you're not alone?" and the answer to that is: I don't know why. I really don't know. I don't consider myself a stupid person. I think constantly. It's frightening how much of my day I spend thinking, pondering, wondering...about everything. I DO know how to think; I'm not a puppet and never have been, particularly to a religion. So: I don't know why I feel this way.
I shouldn't be lonely, God or no God. I have a family. But I am. I am so, so, so indescribably sad. Somebody help me through this. I just don't know how to feel. I just feel all alone...the person who doesn't have a God.
Thanks for reading.
My conversion to atheism was the closest thing I've ever had to a religious experience. But you come out the other side stronger then what you went in.
You have strong instincts that make you want to live forever. Also, it's hard to wrap your head around the implications of not having a God figure in your life.
But in time you will make peace with all those instincts and you'll feel stronger for it.
This puts me in a horribly, horribly, horribly lonely place.
This is all quite serious, folks.
I am lonely.
I shouldn't be lonely,
I am so, so, so indescribably sad.
Somebody help me through this.
I just feel all alone.
This does not sound like a healthy situation. It doesn't sound like a religious problem. It sounds more serious.
I would recommend seeing a doctor or therapist or someone like that.
JerZ, you already have the belief, you just haven't found it yet and I'm not saying that to try and prove something because you have already done that by your statement, otherwise you wouldn't be posting the statement that you did. You want to believe and yet you don't know what to believe in and that is the problem that you have. Let me suggest that what you do is look at all the different beliefs and religions with an open mind and figure out whatever is comfortable for you that somebody else, choose whatever deity you wish and pray or worship that deity in whatever manner you wish. You will find that as you go along whatever path you choose it will change and those changes depend on you, all you have to do is take the first step towards finding the right path for you and nobody can do that but you. I wish you a pleasant journey along your life path.
I can't relate to what the OP is saying - and can't imagine what it would be like to write that all out and still hit send. If this is sincere, though, I agree with Charles that a therapist might be helpful. It doesn't preclude following a spiritual path also but it sounds like you could benefit from more immediate intervention from an objective professional (not a bunch of yutzes on the internet). Best to you.
I don't believe in any god, and I feel liberated, not lonely at all. My impression is that you realize there probably isn't any god, and that to pick one is unlikely to be satisfying because you realize that it is unlikely to be the 'correct' choice. I agree with Charles; it sounds like your loneliness and sadness is more like a clinically depressed state. I wish you the best and admire you for baring your feelings this way.
I can't relate to what the OP is saying - and can't imagine what it would be like to write that all out and still hit send. If this is sincere, though, I agree with Charles that a therapist might be helpful. It doesn't preclude following a spiritual path also but it sounds like you could benefit from more immediate intervention from an objective professional (not a bunch of yutzes on the internet). Best to you.
Just to clarify something so nobody has to worry! -- I should have stated that this is how I feel *when I think about there being no God*. I don't walk around feeling like this all the time. I get that dark, lonely, sad feeling when I think about there not being something "out there" that's godlike. Hope that makes sense.
Just to clarify something so nobody has to worry! -- I should have stated that this is how I feel *when I think about there being no God*. I don't walk around feeling like this all the time. I get that dark, lonely, sad feeling when I think about there not being something "out there" that's godlike. Hope that makes sense.
Oh ok, that's a little less worrisome...but still somewhat troubling to me. It doesn't make a difference to me if there is God or not - I just carry on with my life. It's never been a dilemma or source of consternation for me - not even when I felt lonely or misunderstood (that one happens all the time lol) or not accepted. It's interesting to me that you or anyone would desire that cosmic 'otherness' so much - especially if you have actual people in your life who love you and can share chocolate and giggles with you. Hope you get ok with it all
The OP can try secular humanism. And if he cannot believe in humanity then maybe one of those left handed paths where he believes in himself but I don't see how that can actually make one happy as they lose more faith in everything around them.
There is also pantheism. In that view God does exist but has left us to our own devices long ago. Hey it worked for Einstein. In either case the spiritual void is a terrible place to be. Learn to meditate and practice awareness (aka mindfulness) as well and see how the divine reveals itself to you.
Just know there is a difference between spirituality and religion but there is also a comfort in rituals even if it means going out once a week and helping someone else for an hour at a time. This can be your church and your communion.
Just to clarify something so nobody has to worry! -- I should have stated that this is how I feel *when I think about there being no God*. I don't walk around feeling like this all the time. I get that dark, lonely, sad feeling when I think about there not being something "out there" that's godlike. Hope that makes sense.
I can totally relate with how you feel...I once went through those feelings you're having right now.
Being a free-thinker...who does NOT will not subscribe to "organized religion," is what lead me to experience indescribable calm by just "Loving the Creator and my neighbor as I love myself."
Love is the "truth" that sustains LIFE on earth and the very thing that freed me from spiritual bondage. Luke 10:28
May you find the path that leads to life...from the core! ans
Last edited by ans57; 12-13-2010 at 04:17 PM..
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-- I should have stated that this is how I feel *when I think about there being no God*. I don't walk around feeling like this all the time. 
I get that dark, lonely, sad feeling when I think about there not being something "out there" that's godlike. Hope that makes sense.
