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A 1000 condoms - you're telling her to have sex with as many people as often as she can.
No. I am telling her that she has a right to a private life without constant parental supervision. I am allowing her the freedom to grow into adulthood. I am giving her the tools to do it safely. Conversations about whom to have sex with, how often, how many partners, etc. must happen. They are an essential ingredient in helping to guide a person to maturity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brittZ
Her boyfriend is sexually aggressive - youre telling her to give in and give him what he wants. Physical urges - youre telling her she doesnt have the ability or will power to control herself.
Again, I have different viewpoints. Many people are adept at presenting one face to a parent, and another to a bf/gf. I may not know the true character of a bf, despite my best efforts. I am giving a daughter the option to protect herself.
As for having the willpower to control your physical urges, I don't really think that it is necessary. I think that people should be able to have sex if they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brittZ
I wonder how the notion of teenage sexual activity, pregnancy, and disease fits into your utilitarian morality. Where is the greater good and the least harm? A teenage daughter who's life is ruined because she has a child or some horrible disease, or a little effort as a parent to do the best you can to make sure your daughter doesn't jump into something she isnt emotionally, physically, or financially ready for.
The extreme likelihood is that sex will happen. Most christians on this thread have admitted to pre-marital teen sex. Therefore the odds of pregnancy & disease are decreased by giving teens the tools to have safe sex.
Also, I will let you in on a little secret. Most sex does not result in pregnancy or horrible diseases.
Quote:
Originally Posted by brittZ
If you think teens are ready for sex, go spend time in a teen aids house, go spend a few hours with a boy whose genitals are essentially useless because he got sick and was to embarrased to tell anyone that he had a serious infection, go spend time with a pregnant teen and talk to her about the opportunities she has lost in life.
And why do these people have aids, or disfigurements (really now, that is vanishing rare)? Because they did not have good information, and were afraid to seek help because of some puritanical view of morality.
For the record, pregnancies can be terminated. I am completely ok with abortion.
Most diseases are treatable, if the teen is comfortable with stepping forward for treatment.
HIV/AIDS is a problem. So proper precautions need to be taken. This is not done by sticking your head in the sand.
I will also take a moment to point out a double standard that seems to have crept into this conversation. Female sexuality seems to be frowned on a bit more than male sexuality. Not exclusively, a few male examples are being brought up, but it seems to be revolving around what is wrong for girls.
I am equal opportunity. Males and females should both have access to sex education (including how to make choices), birth control, and health care. This needs to happen from a young age, and with parental support.
For that matter, if I had a teenage daughter that wanted to have sexual relations with another teenage girl, that would be ok by me as well.
stretch, they get pregnant and STDs not from lack of information, but from irresponsibility, because in today's society children are too irresponsible. Some of us choose to be parents and protect our kids, give them boundaries. Children are not little adults and they need our guidance. We should not be their pals, but their parents. I agree with Britzz and the rest, I hope # 1 your daughter is not abused by her aggressive b/f and #2 I would keep my kids far away from yours! It is really too bad you have no problem with your kids getting STDs since most are treatable... you know what? Most can have life long consequences, some cause cancer down the road, others infertility, and many, like herpes and venereal warts stay with you forever! What a nice thing to have. In girls sometimes they have no symptoms and by the time they find out they have contracted something the damage has been done.
And HIV/AIDS is not just a problem, it is a horrible disease most parents will do whatever than can to make sure their precious children never have to be treated for, or die from!
MBG
Teenage pregnancy rates vary widely between countries. Some recent statistics for the pregnancy rate per 1000 females 15 to 19 years of age were:
Country Year Rate
United States 2000 83.6
Great Britain 1995 46.7
Canada 1995 45.7
Sweden 1996 25.0
France 1995 20.2
If you go to the page that I have linked, it goes on to say that there seems to be a correlation between abstinence only education and high pregnancy rates.
Teen responsibility can be looked at in a couple of ways. First, you seem to rely on teen responsibility to just say no and use willpower. But then you seem to say that teens cannot be responsible in taking care of themselves, so we should not give them the tools to do so.
stretch, they get pregnant and STDs not from lack of information, but from irresponsibility, because in today's society children are too irresponsible. Some of us choose to be parents and protect our kids, give them boundaries. Children are not little adults and they need our guidance. We should not be their pals, but their parents. I agree with Britzz and the rest, I hope # 1 your daughter is not abused by her aggressive b/f and #2 I would keep my kids far away from yours! It is really too bad you have no problem with your kids getting STDs since most are treatable... you know what? Most can have life long consequences, some cause cancer down the road, others infertility, and many, like herpes and venereal warts stay with you forever! What a nice thing to have. In girls sometimes they have no symptoms and by the time they find out they have contracted something the damage has been done.
MBG
I think you are both right here. I think kids that have an open honest diaglogue with their parents about sex and are educated on why they should wait but also given the information and tools needed to be safe if they decide to not wait are the ones who do the best in life.
As for keeping your kids away from the children of other parents you don't agree with, I don't think in reality you could do that even if you wanted to. I also think you shouldn't want to, wouldn't it be better for them to come together and learn from eachother? Yes there may be negative influences from children who were not raised the same as your own children but that is the real world and kids need to come in contact with that as well, hopefully you have educated them and brought them up well enough to handle that and to come to you with questions. The kids who may be lacking that education and place to go may find it in your kids or you...which is only a good thing. It takes a village.
Are they responsible enough to have a child or to protect themselves?
Using a condom is a trivial chore, so yes, they are capable of protecting themselves.
Quote:
If not they are not ready, no matter what the biology is.
Teens used to raise families in a completely different world, they actually were considered adults, and worked the fields and hunted, do they do that now?
Agreed. This is the point. Just because society has changed doesn't mean human biology has changed. That is the problem.
Quote:
TODAY if a teen has a baby, they go on welfare and expect Grammy to raise their child. That is reality.
That's an economic issue that has nothing to do with the human sex drive. Perhaps it isn't sex that is sinful but the requirements of modern industrialized nations? Furthermore, only poor teen mothers go on welfare. Those from wealthy families do not. What does this tell you about sin? Apparently, God prefers those with money.
Quote:
That is why so many children are born out of wedlock, have very little chance for a future, have brothers and sisters from several different fathers and stay in poverty... what a great idea that is, so why don't we encourage teen sex?
Your sarcasm misses a very important fact of life: No one needs to encourage teens to have sex.
My advice is different: Why don't we wake up and smell the coffee!
I think you are both right here. I think kids that have an open honest diaglogue with their parents about sex and are educated on why they should wait but also given the information and tools needed to be safe if they decide to not wait are the ones who do the best in life.
I never said that you should not tell your children to wait. Waiting until they are ready is a very, very good thing.
Marriage is obviously too long though. I don't want to see kids marry at 17. Being realistic, and understanding that sex is not the big negative that some people seem to portray it as, sex will happen for most in their teen years. And a teenager will not want to come to their parent and say "I am going to have sex for the first time tonight, can I have a few $ for a condom".
I never said that you should not tell your children to wait. Waiting until they are ready is a very, very good thing.
Marriage is obviously too long though. I don't want to see kids marry at 17. Being realistic, and understanding that sex is not the big negative that some people seem to portray it as, sex will happen for most in their teen years. And a teenager will not want to come to their parent and say "I am going to have sex for the first time tonight, can I have a few $ for a condom".
I know you didn't say they shouldn't be told to wait. You are being a realist and know that the decision is not yours to make, it is theirs. So by educating them on all aspects you are being a responsible parent. I applaud you for this.
Im all for waiting and abstinence but the facts are teens are going to have sex. Most of them, the ones that decide to wait are often shunned, made fun of, or made to feel like an outcast, and most, not all, give in. I want my children to be able to tell me anything and everything, Id rather have a child having protected sex than having sex unprotected cause no matter how much I could rant and rave and object if they want to do it, they are gonna do it. Just here in my town a couple got caught in the bathroom at a gas station.
No. I am telling her that she has a right to a private life without constant parental supervision. I am allowing her the freedom to grow into adulthood. I am giving her the tools to do it safely. Conversations about whom to have sex with, how often, how many partners, etc. must happen. They are an essential ingredient in helping to guide a person to maturity.
Again, I have different viewpoints. Many people are adept at presenting one face to a parent, and another to a bf/gf. I may not know the true character of a bf, despite my best efforts. I am giving a daughter the option to protect herself.
As for having the willpower to control your physical urges, I don't really think that it is necessary. I think that people should be able to have sex if they want.
The extreme likelihood is that sex will happen. Most christians on this thread have admitted to pre-marital teen sex. Therefore the odds of pregnancy & disease are decreased by giving teens the tools to have safe sex.
Also, I will let you in on a little secret. Most sex does not result in pregnancy or horrible diseases.
And why do these people have aids, or disfigurements (really now, that is vanishing rare)? Because they did not have good information, and were afraid to seek help because of some puritanical view of morality.
For the record, pregnancies can be terminated. I am completely ok with abortion.
Most diseases are treatable, if the teen is comfortable with stepping forward for treatment.
HIV/AIDS is a problem. So proper precautions need to be taken. This is not done by sticking your head in the sand.
I will also take a moment to point out a double standard that seems to have crept into this conversation. Female sexuality seems to be frowned on a bit more than male sexuality. Not exclusively, a few male examples are being brought up, but it seems to be revolving around what is wrong for girls.
I am equal opportunity. Males and females should both have access to sex education (including how to make choices), birth control, and health care. This needs to happen from a young age, and with parental support.
For that matter, if I had a teenage daughter that wanted to have sexual relations with another teenage girl, that would be ok by me as well.
Moderator cut: personal attack
As for not being able to tell the true character of a boyfriend, you are wrong. There are obvious signs to clue a parent in; behavior changes, fear, sudden unexplained change in values, etc. . . YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD, OTHERWISE YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING A PARENT!!!!!
As for a double standard, no. It cuts both ways. Boys have absolutely no business having sex either. The emotional consequenses are much the same, the difference is that girls face much greater physical problems.
If you think kids shouldn't have to exercise will power with sex, where does it end? After all, lots of kids want to try drugs. Should we let them drink? How about smoking a little pot? Perhaps we should let them do a couple lines, or shoot up once in a while. All these things make people feel good and it is a human desire to feel good.
Last edited by Trainwreck20; 06-13-2007 at 01:09 PM..
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