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I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to have your kids blame you for their shortcomings. As late Boomers (born 1960) DH and I worked hard and sacrificed to give our kids the best start in life that we could. We lived below our means in order to save for college and retirement. Luckily, our kids have had a different attitude toward what we've done. They are thankful that they have no student loans, unlike many of their peers. They are thankful that we instilled them with a love of learning and a work ethic. They are thankful we taught them how to save and budget. And at 24 and 27, they see the value of those lessons even though they weren't always easy to learn. I hope your kids learn the value of being thankful for what they have and not bitter for what they don't.
Your post here sheds light on why there is so much student unrest and participation in demonstrations. You paid for your kids' college education, they didn't. While that is commendable, that is not the norm.
Most kids have no choice but to pay their entire education themselves by taking out annual loans, as minimum wage, sorry to say, does not cut it (tuition, fees, books, housing, healthcare, transportation, food, etc etc).
The comfortable kids came out clean with no student loans, ready for becoming upwardly mobile. In the very broad demographic of our country, tt is clearly not equal footing for everyone, especially among those of the lower middle and lower classes who are bright and work hard.
While I'm at it, some of us on CD are fond of saying "get scholarships and grants." These are a drop in the bucket of college costs! The only scholarships that cover a significant portion of tuition and fees (at state universities, "fees" alone can be higher than tuition) are given out to the top brains and brawn. These are by far not more than a minority in terms of numbers of students. Many scholarships range from $500 to a few thousand dollars. While helpful, these don't even come close to meeting what's needed. And grants? What student who does not have bright educated parents or top guidance counselors to help them find and apply for "grants" has a chance at these? What is the average amount of a "grant" among those who manage to get them?
Only at the graduate level is there some hope of tuition waiver, through graduate fellowships and assistantships, and these are very competitive and limited in number. I see no way for the average American high school kid to get through college without significant parental help and/or significant loans.
In terms of accomplishment, achievement, and success (all which may or may not lead to greed), some are really well prepositioned through heritage or mentorship. I hope that some of those who are super successful on CD reach out (like I know one does) to being a mentor for one of the huge number of kids who are smart, work hard, but just don't have parents who will or can foot the college bill.
I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to have your kids blame you for their shortcomings. As late Boomers (born 1960) DH and I worked hard and sacrificed to give our kids the best start in life that we could. We lived below our means in order to save for college and retirement. Luckily, our kids have had a different attitude toward what we've done. They are thankful that they have no student loans, unlike many of their peers. They are thankful that we instilled them with a love of learning and a work ethic. They are thankful we taught them how to save and budget. And at 24 and 27, they see the value of those lessons even though they weren't always easy to learn. I hope your kids learn the value of being thankful for what they have and not bitter for what they don't.
Your post here sheds some light on why there is so much student unrest and participation in demonstrations. You paid for your kids' college education, they didn't. While that is commendable on your part, that is not the norm.
Most kids have no choice but to pay their entire education themselves by taking out annual loans, as minimum wage, sorry to say, does not cut it (tuition, fees, books, housing, healthcare, transportation, food, etc etc).
The comfortable kids go through school with few worries, even if they have to work some. They come out clean with no student loans and no credit debt, all ready for becoming upwardly mobile. In the very broad demographic of our country, it is clearly not equal footing for everyone, especially among the massive numbers of the lower middle and lower classes who are bright and work hard but do not have any support.
Some of us are fond of saying "get scholarships and grants." These are a drop in the bucket of college costs! The only scholarships that cover a significant portion of tuition and fees (at state universities, "fees" alone can be higher than tuition) are given out to the top brains and athletic brawn. These are by far not more than a relative few in terms of numbers of students. Many scholarships range from $500 to a few thousand dollars. While helpful, these don't even come close to meeting what's needed. And grants? What student who does not have bright educated parents or top guidance counselors to help them find and apply for "grants" has a chance at these? What is the average amount of a "grant" among those who manage to get them?
Only at the graduate level is there some hope of tuition waiver, through graduate fellowships and assistantships, and these are very competitive and limited in number. I see no way for the average American high school kid to get through college without significant parental help and/or significant loans.
In terms of accomplishment, achievement, and success (all which may or may not lead to greed), some are really well prepositioned through heritage or mentorship. I hope that some of those who are super successful on CD reach out (like I know one does) to being a mentor for one of the huge number of kids who are smart, work hard, but just don't have parents who will or can foot the college bill.
Your post here sheds light on why there is so much student unrest and participation in demonstrations. You paid for your kids' college education, they didn't. While that is commendable, that is not the norm.
I agree with your statement. A parent paying for their kid's college education is no longer the norm. Why not bears some discussion and IMO, here are a few of the reasons:
The rapid rise of the cost of college has certainly played a huge part. Many parents who have done their best to scrimp and save find themselves unable to bear 100% of the burden of their kid's educations despite their best efforts. These kids end up with a tough choice. A community college education without any debt or a traditional college education that will result in them taking out loans to bridge the gap in cost.
The rise of self funded retirement and the death of pensions. My parents had pensions from their jobs. They had no need to save a great deal of money for retirement since their incomes would be replaced between SS and their pensions that were funded by their employers. Pensions are all but extinct for most of my generation. Our retirements will be, in large part, self funded via 401K. Today, many financial experts advise parents to save for retirement first and college second. They feel that it's better for kids to have college debt than the burden of supporting aging parents. Some parents have taken this advice to heart and skipped saving for college.
Instant gratification is in. There are parents who spent their kid's college savings on a lifestyle. Big houses, pricey cars, fabulous vacations, designer clothes and the latest xBox are more important than education. These parents had the means to give their kids a debt free education and chose not to do so. In many cases, they've spoiled their kids with "stuff", setting them up to have expectations about money and life that are unreasonable and saddling them with debt that will take years to pay off.
One of the major problems with the student loan issue is that most students are not graduating in four years or at all. That is wasted money that is still owed. The reasonable approach that minimizes college cost is 2 years at a junior college for the AA degree and than two years at a 4 year university to finish things off. Living at home the first two years, working and saving money and attending a state school the last two years is a very doable plan for many young people. It is not however the socially preferred plan. The need to take remedial courses not taking a full schedule along with college scheduling issues can complicate many a plan.
Because college is a six or more year operation ( last 2 years of high school to plan and at least 4 years to complete) the economic and employment conditions when it begins are rarely the same as when it ends. That makes it so often a challenge. Imagine those who were Juniors in high school taking the SAT's and looking at schools and majors and costs in 2005 and what they found graduating in 2011? You play with the recent time periods and we can see the makings of many of the problems we have at any given time. How good or bad was the job market when you graduated and what was it like when you started finalizing plans your junior year of high school. Consider that the extremes are becoming more frequent and more intense. Is there no surprise it can wreck havoc with how to pay for college? Parents can save and just like retirement savings the timing of when they need the money and the market can create a range of amounts.
You answered your own question, and the only way to avoid it is to close your doors when they "come a courtin'".
You're absolutely right----except when two innocent babies are included. The inclination to kick my son out on his ***** ends with the child situation. It's a real Catch -22. Two irresponsible parents and two children whom we love. It complicates the situation. But of course the situation IS NOT HIS FAULT---
well I'm assuming, but his definition of "Stealth" seems to be anything that isn't spelled out very blatantly in a political speech.
remeber how pools workfirst of all and always have in other polls. The problem will be i the cost to provide one size fits all i the mandates. many retiree for example will see cost rise as they have to pay for children to 26 and unlimit lifetime benfits which they are unlike to use. that is the way pools work. the we see taxes to subsidse pre=existing from medicare 500 billion i suts over ten eyars, the other subsidies covered by tax on home sales and increased sate cost for thsoe placed in medicaid pool when they take over their portiton in 2017. One size fits all isn't a effeicent system for all pools as anyone who worked on companies pool decisions can testify to.
The shift has been even more acute in affluent families. Two years ago, parents reached deeply into their savings and investment accounts to meet the higher costs of college. But that level of spending proved to be unsustainable.
"Parents don't have the same income and savings that they had then. Students are borrowing more. This is particularly emphasized in families with higher income levels over $100,000," says Sarah Ducich, senior vice president for public policy at Sallie Mae.
Three years ago, the study found, the typical high-income parents (making $100,000 or more) paid for 61 percent of college costs. This year, the parents' share dropped to 52 percent, while the students' portion jumped 5 percent to 23 percent
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