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It's funny that I was able to have so many successful roommate relationships when I was in my 20s without needing to worry about contracts or spelling every little thing out. We did have a few discussions before we rented a house together, but that was about it. Things always seemed to work out. Was that just a more innocent time?
It's funny that I was able to have so many successful roommate relationships when I was in my 20s without needing to worry about contracts or spelling every little thing out. We did have a few discussions before we rented a house together, but that was about it. Things always seemed to work out. Was that just a more innocent time?
I'm not sure if it was a more innocent time, but I think the important part of your post is "when I was in my 20's". Most of us are more flexible when we are young. I remain flexible in old age with regard to scheduling, meaning I don't follow a rigid schedule for getting up, meal times, etc. But I may be less flexible in terms of what I will put up with, especially in connection with living with others in the same house or apartment.
Certainly, two people of good will can share a house or apartment without a written agreement. But if financial arrangements are part of the deal, some people feel better if they have it in writing. If one party is to renege, then the written contract may not mean much, but by signing, both parties are acknowleging the terms in a way that's harder to ignore.
It's funny that I was able to have so many successful roommate relationships when I was in my 20s without needing to worry about contracts or spelling every little thing out. We did have a few discussions before we rented a house together, but that was about it. Things always seemed to work out. Was that just a more innocent time?
I think it would be possible for me to live with a group of like minded women in much the same way I did in my younger days. I'm not the sort to get angry if someone drinks my milk, and I'm not the sort to let the behavior go on without addressing it.
I don't even think we need to take that vacation to test our compatibility. A few weeks together on a forum should suffice.
I think it would be possible for me to live with a group of like minded women in much the same way I did in my younger days. I'm not the sort to get angry if someone drinks my milk, and I'm not the sort to let the behavior go on without addressing it.
Yep. Actually I choose my friends so much more wisely now than I did in my 20's. I've no doubt that we could work through these issues.
To be clear, I'm talking about choosing housemates from my existing pool of real friends, not advertising on Craigslist.
If you are serious about this arrangement, it would be worth reading some of the monastic websites. You will find a lot of wisdom from people who are vowed to live in rge same community for life. And most of those sites address a lot of the issues addressed on this thread.
I think it would be possible for me to live with a group of like minded women in much the same way I did in my younger days. I'm not the sort to get angry if someone drinks my milk, and I'm not the sort to let the behavior go on without addressing it.
I don't even think we need to take that vacation to test our compatibility. A few weeks together on a forum should suffice.
LOL! I had to laugh about this one (reference to forums). . . there are studies that indicate that people who post together on forums, over an extended period of time, truly do get a clear sense of personalities - and those they envision as being compatible (possible "friend" material) typically end up as compatible friends in real life, if the people involved choose to look one another up.
Yep. Actually I choose my friends so much more wisely now than I did in my 20's. I've no doubt that we could work through these issues.
To be clear, I'm talking about choosing housemates from my existing pool of real friends, not advertising on Craigslist.
Yes, I agree. If I were to go into this type of arrangement at some point, it would be a matter of getting together with folks I already know (or friends of friends who were introduced into the group).
After reading some of the "cannot live with" statements . . . from scents in the house to music to pets . . . it really is a big deal to be able to present the situation with all variables so folks can decide if they are interested in forming a group living arrangement.
I have given this much thought as folks have contributed their ideas . . . and for me - being totally honest with myself about a comfort level with other folks under the same roof . . . I think I am more cut out for the B&B type of arrangement, which is something I have been interested in since the early 80s. At that time, I did look at properties with the potential of making them into a B&B. I like the business end of things as much as the hospitality end.
My existing home would not be ideal for a "Golden Girls" arrangement, b/c of two things - parking and stairs. And . . . I am thinking the best bedroom arrangement would be to have "jack and jill" bathrooms, where 2 bedrooms shared 1 bathroom. In some homes, that could be a matter of some renovation, but the layout in my current home would not allow for that type of remodeling.
Looking beyond my particular circumstance at this time, I think there are situations where I could live in a group setting, but only if I owned the property and "ran it" more like one of the "boarding houses" at the turn of the Century. Common spaces available (reading/card room, TV room, dining area, screened-in porch, uncovered and covered decks), but all meals prepared and presented at certain times, everything running on a schedule, and hired help in the kitchen and for housecleaning. Anyone living in the home would pay a flat fee, monthly, and it would include x meals and all utilities.
I don't think that this is really the same model as a "Golden Girls" type arrangement. It seems in those situations, resources are more likely "pooled" and monthly bills divided. And, the group pooling of resources could extend to vehicles, for example. I think this would take a lot of planning and discussion by all parties, and also, provision made should anyone in the group leave (for whatever reason).
In any case, it is an interesting idea to explore. And it appears there are people interested in such arrangements. Sure beats being stuck in an apartment with no control at all over who the other tenants are, what their habits might be, noise control, etc.
...My existing home would not be ideal for a "Golden Girls" arrangement, b/c of two things - parking and stairs. And . . . I am thinking the best bedroom arrangement would be to have "jack and jill" bathrooms, where 2 bedrooms shared 1 bathroom. In some homes, that could be a matter of some renovation, but the layout in my current home would not allow for that type of remodeling...
At my age - the absolute last thing in the world I'd want to share is a bathroom (especially a toilet).
I thought that before my trip to Michigan - and now I'm 100% positive. Five people - two toilets = something I don't care to do again. Robyn
This thread reminded me of what was planned with 3 other friends back in the 1970s. We were like sisters, close friends who all lived on the same two city blocks. We talked many times about our old age and what we would do when that day came. Since we spent so much time together and all loved doing the same things and doing them together, we decided we'd all move, one by one as we became alone, to one of the gal's large summer houses in Calcoon NY. It was like a small lodge and we all loved the place. This gal was single and decided to never remarry. Her place was a sure thing as far as we were concerned. We would pass our golden years in the mountains going to flea markets and antique shops, dog and cat shows, country fairs and trips down to the city. We would grow a garden and can and freeze our organic food, maybe even have a few chickens. What dreams we had. But it gave me, and them, a feeling of security, knowing none of us (except the last one to alive) would be alone in our old age. We would get into discussions for hours about it. But sadly... over the years, two of them died long before they would have been left alone. I cannot locate the one who remarried and moved to Texas. I don't know what became of her. I'm the last one of the four. The beautiful place in Calcoon owned by that one friend was sold years ago, after her death. As we started to die off and Fran moved.... we never did find others to take their place. Finally the 3 gal died. So it's just me now. Everyone I know here in TN has family and will never end up alone. Living like the Golden Girls is a foreign concept for them since all the locals have, as I said, family and friends from years back.
My last real true friend here died last month.
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