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I'm new here & have just started reading this thread on the Baby Boomer doing things in the Golden girls style. I've been interested in co-housing/shared housing situation for a lil while now and have been enjoying the various takes on the idea. But ya had me when I read this...
"And, of course, we would have the freezer full of ice cream and cheesecake for the late night meetings."
So... who do I need to talk to & where are the forms for me to fill out?? LOL ~
I'm new here & have just started reading this thread on the Baby Boomer doing things in the Golden girls style. I've been interested in co-housing/shared housing situation for a lil while now and have been enjoying the various takes on the idea. But ya had me when I read this...
"And, of course, we would have the freezer full of ice cream and cheesecake for the late night meetings."
So... who do I need to talk to & where are the forms for me to fill out?? LOL ~
The link at the first of this thread leads to a woman's website . . . and she is helping folks with putting together these sorts of housing arrangements.
Check it out! You may need to be the person who initiates such an arrangement in your area!
I thought of that months ago, put out a post in Tucson but no replies. I thought it would be a comfort for 2-4 seniors to share a home, share expenses and chores, be family for each other. Because of bad roommates, my opinion, people are afraid to try it.
I've rented enough rooms that I don't want the guy or woman off the street moving into my spare bedroom. A friend spending and extended visit, knowing they *will* go home is okay, but I like listening to loud Irish and pagan music and staying up late. I think I'd be hoping for some emergency at home for them to leave.
The way renting out rooms goes, the owner makes the rules. If there are three renters and one is the owners friend, and there is a problem it will automatically be assumed that the other two caused it. Then you get the split expenses for the bills. But one person is hardly there and one watches tv all day and they pay the same split in power. This leads to bad feelings. If I was going to do a shared rental idea I'd just do a boarding house. The owner provided dinner. It was at one time and only one time. Miss it you missed it. The place my grandmother and her mother lived, rent was reduced if tenants served or cooked, essencially working for the owner. But it was a defined relationship, better than the suggested one most have today. Five seperate people sharing a kitchen is harrying. And mini friges happen since sharing a frig is a bad idea too.
But splitting a place with a friend or two can be a huge huge risk too, especially if they are good friends. I lost a very good one that way when she met a guy and decided to move our mid month, leaving me in the lurch. He was pressuring her and she was doing it to get him to quit. Sometimes its better not to have friends as roommates. If you really care if they go mad, then you shouldn't.
Having had the room rental experience too much, I LOVE my little house with my furry four legged roomates and will happily have visitors, but they must remain just that and go home eventually.
So now that we have uncovered some issues that might give us pause as far as living together in comfort . . . what about a questionnaire?
Let's see . . .
1. My ideal room temp in summer is _____ and in winter is ______.
2. I have a pet_____. I don't have a pet ______. Other people's pets don't bother me one way or the other_______. Other people's pets are fine as long as I don't have to interact with them in my space______. Pets in a house are annoying.________.
3. I am an early riser and make noise_____. I am an early riser, but I am quiet _______. I am a night owl _____.
What other questions might be helpful?
I enjoy cooking and like using a lot of spices. I do not like the teltale scent of heavily spiced food.
I do not consider that most people keep a kitchen clean enough to cook my meals and would clean first. I do not like the scent of strong cleaners, especially around food. I do not like to share cooking facilities with anyone else.
I enjoy listening to music most of the time. I like quiet and dislike hearing faint or louder music. I do not like loud music of any kind.
I don't think the people who see this as difficult or impossible would be wanting to join, so that would eliminate them from consideration. I see it as a group coming together from people who are already acquainted even if you aren't close friends. It would be nice if you had been in each others homes and you all had an idea of how each of you lived on your own before you decided to live together.
Taking an extended vacation seems like a great idea.
In the only sort of communal type situation I have ever been involved in, I ended up doing most of the cooking because I cook everyday for myself. And I clean up as I go. Most homes have a dishwasher. People who are wary of others eating their food would most likely have other issues with the lifestyle.
People who ate other people's food would be shot. We would need extensive gardens to deal with the residents who didn't work out.
I'm writing a story where people who were used to living in their own space, where the variables were up to them end up housed two families to a small house. The adults get a room, all the children share the main one to sleep. Food isn't an issue, but the need to work it out since there isn't a choice drives them into making everyone into family and enforcing the same rules for anyone. I think in the room rental situations I've had if there had been stated and firm rules it would have been better, but usually there aren't and thus the milk is empty and nobody is willing to claim they drank it and similar happenings. Food and who it belongs to and where it was before it got moved is why I ended up with a minifrig.
The painful loss of a friendship is one thing to consider when entering into an agreement, whether verbal or written, with a friend about sharing living quarters and the financial arrangements attaching thereto.
I am reminded of a period of life long ago when I entered into a written agreement with a friend about co-ownership of a small private airplane. We had spelled everything out in considerable detail in a written agreement, and indeed things worked out very well for a while. Then my friend got enanmored with a woman and began to lose interest in the airplane (I was already married), causing him to renege on his responsibilities. He could have stepped up like a man and compensated me for what he wasn't doing, as our agreement required, but did any of you ever try to enforce such an agreement? Going to court would have been more expensive than my just eating my losses. I felt betrayed. Eventually I bought him out and sold the airplane at a loss because he had held out for an unreasonably high price and we couldn't sell it together. I then felt doubly betrayed. End of friendship.
From then on I swore that I would never again enter into a business relationship with a friend or relative, and I have kept that promise to myself.
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. Robyn
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