Retiring in a multi- generational home? (spouses, community, retired, graduated)

[Suevee]

I am new to this forum. I found myself unexpectedly retired and alone when my husband died of cancer two years ago.

At the time of his illness my daughter, sil, and two small grandchildren moved back home to help us and to save money to buy their own home.

Two years after my husband's death and we are still in a multi-generational household and it works for us. There have been adjustments but for us it works. Financially we are both independent and share expenses. Currently we are planning a kitchen renovation.

I am 61 in good health. We live in an affluent area. By combining households we have all benefited. Our home is set up so every one has their private area to retreat when alone time is needed. I travel a few months of the year and do not worry about leaving my home vacant. When home I help out with the children and give my daughter and sil some alone time.

Is anyone else in the same situation? And if so how is it working for you? What are your challenges?

[Ghostly1]

I have to give all of you kudos. It seems that you're making it work to everyone's advantage and that's a living model from bygone years/generations much more than today. Your loss of your husband is most unfortunate but you are surrounded by family which, I would hope, softens the blow a bit. Truly, my hat is off to all of you. I don't think I'd be able to do it.

[Escort Rider]

My thoughts are along the same line as Ghostly1's above. A multi-generational household makes financial sense. It also makes sense on other levels, such as help with child-rearing. All that providing that the people involved get along with each other reasonably well. I would never have voluntarily lived with my mother once I left home for college at age 18; it would have been a constant battle because she was a control freak and I have a very independent nature.

So congratulations! I would not have the least doubt about the wisdom of your arrangements just because those arrangements are less common now than they were 100 years ago. They are working well for you, so not much else matters.

[Bette]

If I were in the same situation, I would definitely consider it. I love having people around and I grew up with a large family and I miss the action!

I thinks it's wonderful that you are doing it.

[StealthRabbit]

I keep seperate living qtrs in all my houses (usually for international travelers).

But it comes in very handy for:

Friends in need (caught between house closings);
Student families / couples
Landscape help
Caregivers
Parents
Kids
Adult grandkids
& in the future...ME (when single and retired) I will rent out Casa Grande to my caregiver and enjoy the casita.

I have found it is sometimes ez'r to mix intergenerational housing with "friend's kids." Kinda like when you wanted your own kid to work at home. Much ezr to spend a few bucks & swap kids with a neighbor for the day.
I'm working on a cottage community concept that will be intergenerational.

[jakabedy]

We're considering this as we shop for our retirement home. My oldest stepson has compound health issues that will likely lead to a shorter-than-hoped-for life. His wife has very little family of her own, and what there is is troubled at best. I want to always have a place, no matter how small or modest, for her and the little boy (her cousin's child) that she and my stepson are in the process of adopting (hope to be able to call him a grandson, officially, in a few months).

I feel closer to this daughter-in-law than to any of DH's kids or their spouses. I think maybe we're kindred spirits. I was adopted, never had kids of my own, and have always been a bit of a lone wolf. She was raised by a man who may or may not be her father (like I said, troubled family), and the little boy has an even worse situation with his family of origin.

[brava4]

I think it's great if it works for everyone. Personally, I would/could never live with any of my family except my mother.

[tom1944]

I think in many situations it would be great. If you can structure the housing with separate entrances it would be like having adjacent condos.

[CCc girl]

We are buying our house with exactly that in mind for my Mom.

At first we were going to do it immediately, but we have gotten a handle on life after Dad passed just over a year ago.

She has decided to stay in South Florida for awhile. She is enjoying her next act now.

We need to skedaddle out of here ASAP, our house is not comfortable for us anymore. We need one level and a flat yard with no steps. No more plowing and shoveling.

She used to visit us twice a year for two weeks at a time. In the 1200 sft cottage we all got along famously. With one bath no less. So a nice big house will be no problem.

[HyperionGap]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

I keep seperate living qtrs in all my houses (usually for international travelers).

But it comes in very handy for:

Friends in need (caught between house closings);
Student families / couples
Landscape help
Caregivers
Parents
Kids
Adult grandkids
& in the future...ME (when single and retired) I will rent out Casa Grande to my caregiver and enjoy the casita.

I have found it is sometimes ez'r to mix intergenerational housing with "friend's kids." Kinda like when you wanted your own kid to work at home. Much ezr to spend a few bucks & swap kids with a neighbor for the day.
I'm working on a cottage community concept that will be intergenerational.

I don't think I would consider living with my mother, but ever since my father died about 5 years ago she started renting out her pool house to friends' kids and it has worked out well. Usually they have just graduated from college and need somewhere cheap to live while looking for a job/ saving up some money. It has worked out so well for her that she now even converted the upstairs of her house into an apartment with a kitchenette & separate entrance and rents that out too. It makes her feel less lonely and it's a good use for 3500 sf house that is way too big for one old lady.