U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 05-12-2014, 11:09 AM
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,026,725 times
Reputation: 1046


Although the OP seems to be looking for suggestions about legal and financial matters rather than day to day safety ones, I'd like to share a couple of things that were told to me years ago by a single-retired female police officer.

(1) Never give the impression to sales/service/install/delivery people that you live alone. For instance, if you're shopping for anything that will need to be delivered, always use the pronoun "we" instead of "I". At our age, most people will automatically assume that the other party is male.

(2) Go to one of those lowprice shoe stores and buy at least one pair of cheap men's shoes or sneakers. Make sure they're put somewhere visible inside the door when anyone has to come into your house for a delivery or repair.

(3) Get a PO box. If you don't want the expense or the inconvenience of going to the post office, then when you order things to be delivered to your house, use your first initial instead of your full name: "J. Smith" instead of "Jane Smith" as the delivery address. Better yet, have it "sent" to an invented male name instead, at your address.

(4) If you have a PO box, then there's no reason to carry anything in your wallet or purse that shows your address. Most states will allow you to have a PO box address on your license and/or registration (which the insurance ID card will match) as long as you keep the DMV updated about your actual physical address.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 05-12-2014, 11:15 AM
Location: Glenbogle
730 posts, read 1,026,725 times
Reputation: 1046
Originally Posted by Teddy52 View Post
......." But I do not wish to change my circumstances"...

There lies the problem
I don't see personal preference of living style as a problem; I see it as a choice.

For myself, I'd rather be isolated and happy/comfortable than living in close proximity to other people and be miserable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 11:48 AM
Location: Florida
4,359 posts, read 3,694,371 times
Reputation: 4085
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
This article has a few good tips: For Childless Older People, Legal and Logistical Challenges

I have a spouse, children, and extended family so don't have your problem. But DH & I want to spare our heirs the headaches we've experienced in handling our parents' and grandparents' estates, so we've worked with a local trust and estate management firm. If we both become incapacitated, they'll basically take over and handle our financial affairs. Our sons are still our trust beneficiaries but the firm will handle and disburse funds according to our instructions. (fwiw, our sons, who live cross-country from us, are happy with this plan.) If we didn't have heirs, the firm would disburse the funds as needed to ensure our care. This firm has a long (since 1867) history, an impeccable reputation throughout this part of the state, and we know people who have dealt with them going back decades.
They are known as bulldogs when it comes to protecting their clients' financial interests. They don't handle or recommend investments, they work only on the disbursement side and they monitor every penny spent upon support/care for their diminished capacity clients. When you don't have that quality of professional help readily available, it's scary to be out looking for paid people to trust to take over your affairs down the road. Might be worth it though, to start asking around and researching now.

If I were on my own, I'd also be looking into CCRCs or Continuing Care Retirement Communities. These provide a continuum of care, starting with 55+ independent living, then transitioning into Assisted Living care and onto skilled nursing and/or hospice, all under one umbrella and usually at one location. There's a rigorous certification process to receive the CCRC designation, and many are run by church denominations or other non-profit organizations (that doesn't mean they're cheap, though, they're often pricey). Once you move into one, you're guaranteed services at whatever level you need and they'll transition you from say, independent living to Assisted Living and back again, as your physical/mental needs require.

CCRC's aren't available everywhere, the website has a locater function. There's one about an hour away from us and we have friends whose parents are there, they have only good things to say about it. Almost all CCRCs have a long waiting list so it's best to check into them well before anticipating need. Many require a substantial but refundable deposit.
Would you name the company?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 12:01 PM
1,769 posts, read 2,441,374 times
Reputation: 5159
Originally Posted by StressedOutNYer View Post
I don't see personal preference of living style as a problem; I see it as a choice.

For myself, I'd rather be isolated and happy/comfortable than living in close proximity to other people and be miserable.

Precisely! What we need is a service that checks up on us daily by a phone call or email and a "dial a ride" sort of thing. You know, you can't even have small operations anymore without having "Someone" with you. What wimps do they expect us to be? I just need someone to haul me there - and pick me up when the surgery is done since I'm too messed up on valium to drive myself.

Otherwise, I LOVE being alone with my animals. It would be hell to live close by other people because I couldn't play my music full blast late at night, run around half naked, talk to myself all the time, etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 12:15 PM
Location: Florida
19,786 posts, read 19,886,317 times
Reputation: 23202
I forget the exact name of the service my mother had but it was one of those that had the emergency alert thing to wear around your neck and was set up so that if you didn't push a button at the pre-set time every day, it would follow a certain protocol to see what the situation was.
Hers involved "signing up" some agreeable neighbors who would be alerted to go check on her first, if possible.
This, as well as the ability to call for help herself with it, gave her more of a sense of security than having nothing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 01:20 PM
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 18,969,510 times
Reputation: 15649
Originally Posted by LivingDeadGirl View Post
This subject definitely pertains to me. I live alone in the country in a large house on a couple of acres with my dogs. Most of my friends have died, moved away, and now the only friends I have are an old couple who are planning to move. I actually have no one to call in an emergency, drive me to an operation, etc. I have found it near impossible to make new friends and am becoming concerned about my situation. If I am injured on my property, my dogs would starve and no one would miss me for about a week or so. But I do not wish to change my circumstances. The best I can come up with is hiring someone to email daily to see if I am still alive !
Many towns have a service through the police station for regular check-ups. Call yours to see if they'd give you a call or a robocall a few times a week; the latter would entail pressing some number if you're OK and pressing nothing of course if you're not.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 02:05 PM
Location: Haiku
4,056 posts, read 2,569,746 times
Reputation: 5976
I live part of the year in an extremely rural county. Heck, there is only one stop light in the entire county! but even our little county has all kinds of services for the elderly. They do home visits, will drive you to medical appointments, and I am not sure what else.

You need to check your local county or city, see what services there are!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 05:36 PM
1,462 posts, read 1,345,110 times
Reputation: 1162
Default I take this problem seriously

Originally Posted by poopycat View Post
I'm not too worried about having enough money to retire on, and I have been working on keeping healthy through healthy food and exercise. What I do worry about is becoming physically and/or mentally incapacitated and not having anyone who will be there to help me or act in my best interests.

I am not married and I have no children or close family. I have friends, but some are older than me and may not be any better off than I am when I get older. Are there agencies or attorneys who can help the elderly and act in their best interests, and possibly even manage money without the person being in danger of being ripped off?
One thing I do is carry a cell phone with me. Hopefully if I am behind a door somewhere at least I can call for help. I have seen long term care contracts which have all the ear marks of Obamacare, i.e. bait and switch, and cradle to grave old folks/nursing homes applications, (the nicest ones ask that you fork over your life savings to enter).

My thinking is if you have savings, your relatives will probably take you in, or, if you aren't senile or infirm, you can take care of yourself. For myself, I am thinking about sponsoring for visas several Swedish nurses for round the clock care when the time comes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 06:54 PM
10,812 posts, read 8,058,272 times
Reputation: 17010
Originally Posted by rjm1cc View Post
Would you name the company?
It's a small firm here in North Texas. I dm'd you the name.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-12-2014, 08:19 PM
Location: West Madison^WMHT
3,279 posts, read 3,124,638 times
Reputation: 4062
Thumbs up Not all dogs are Hachikō.

Go ahead and get a pet; if you're concerned about his or her fate, provide for them in your will.

Over the years I have inherited a cat, a dog, two ferrets. After a few weeks of getting used to a new house, they all did fine with the transition to a new household, outlived their original owner by several happy years until they, also died of old age.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top