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Amen to that. That sort of captures the essence of the situation in our 50's and 60's (and even earlier for some).
Comes a time when you gotta do whatever is required to take care of yourself, and, that sure ain't making more money, another promotion, an even bigger empire etc. Every stage in one's life has a focus, an activity that overrides others - learning and socializing in childhood, becoming an individual in adolescence, achieving self sufficiency and starting one's own family in adulthood... and so on. After doing whatever one can do with a "job" or "career", comes a time when it is more important to spend time taking care of oneself.
Like the OP, I was at a stage in my career where I was doing what was necessary, but the passion behind it had long since dwindled. One begins to see the game for what it is - success, metrics, performance, etc. which may be rewarding (in a Pavlovian sort of way), but, not have any personal meaning because those are all scores for the benefit of impressing others and the institution rather than satisfying oneself. I think that this urge to be true to one's self is far more important than any material, social, or, hierarchical achievement one can attain in our life.
How then, does one proceed? I suppose there are as many answers to that question as the number of people who care to take it seriously and try to achieve some sort of resolution. In my case, even after I came to care less for my work, I stayed on a bit longer to make sure that these urges to "let go" were true and came from deep within. Also, I began to recognize certain personal needs that were more important than what work/career gave me. For instance, good health, equanimity, simplicity, etc. Once I had that conviction and some level of comfort of what the financial implications and requirements were, I left. I'm now having a stimulating adventure even if I don't have a clear idea of where the things I'm doing now will take me.
I wish the OP all the best as he/she untangles years of social (and self!) conditioning and comes to terms with these seemingly contradictory urges. Go forth and be well! :-)
I still do everything I can but there are times when I want to tell everyone to "f*** off" but that is not my nature. I guess I'll just keep plugging away and be civil to everyone but I have become more vocal about deadlines, priorities and additional work dumped on me.
As others have said, planning trips in the future really helps. It gives me and my wife something to look forward to and get us through each day and week. It's sad but that's where we are at. Most weekends we talk about retirement and what we will do; where we will live; what it will be like; etc.
Nobody can tell you what to do when you are burnt out or what the future will hold for any of us! Plan accordingly and hope for the best! I read this somewhere --- nobody, that has ever been close to dying, wished they had worked one more day!
We are planning for 4/4/16.
Our feelings exactly! We do the same things.
Thank you for sharing your story and insights. Congratulations on 40 years!
Thanks for all the folks who responded to my post, lots of excellent advice and support. I studied my finances, I resigned my job, I gave proper notice, and I have a few months to get my house in order, I plan to recreate myself and have lined up a position that is related but totally different compared to what I currently do, much less stress, and decent pay and benefits for another 5-6 years, and then I'm done, some think I'm crazy to leave a prestigious job with a well known organization but I know I'm doing the right thing and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I just got an email from my boss today with a whole new set of requirements to meet my yearly goals, I just laughed, bye bye! Thanks again everyone.
Well, that's the thing, any job I would enjoy pays so badly that I would consider myself retired if that is what I was doing. As an example, I was recently offered a bench jeweler position, which is a job I would like, but the pay is basically minimum wage. I am making six figures at my current job. A minimum wage job would be retirement for me because at that point I would only be working for enjoyment. That is how I define retirement, I guess. I want to do that now, but I can't sell our house and move unless my husband is on board with that too.
If I was working in a job even remotely suited to my personality I probably would not be so eager to retire but my work is meaningless to anyone with a soul, unfortunately.
I chose to work nonprofit after my son grew up & yes, the change in pay was drastic but, the exchange was that each day I felt good when I got home. Unfortunately, with the recession I was laid off at 55 & although I had a few long term temp jobs, eventually that dried up. I used my pension & savings & when they were gone, finally moved in with family. It was very demoralizing until a social security judge declared I was disabled due to a car accident & I finally feel good-except for my back. It's amazing that I am living on 1/2 of what I used to and it is plenty.
I have to add that the last 5 years I worked were very nerve-racking as the recession had just begun, I was working for a foundation, which is totally different from a "regular" nonprofit, & was the highest paying job I ever had.
Although it was never-wracking because we all knew something was going on but not what it was. But, my position was working with 3 communities in poverty & I helped them write a good proposal, made sure their budget fit within the guidelines, helped with timelines, etc. I also sent materials that told how other communities had achieved their goals.
One of the comments one of the leads said was, "It's not that we didn't want to get out of poverty, we just didn't know how. You have helped us tremendously." What a great feeling that was - worth all the stress at the office.
Also, because I was there over 5 years, that was a huge part of my SSDI payment decision.
Just keep being there. The last 5 years before I was "let go" as was anyone over 50, except management, were terrible. The tension because we knew the organization was down-sizing & no one knew who would go. Part of me still feels like I should have fought more, because that was the year the depression started. I had 2 part-time jobs after that BUT that was it. I lost my house & have had to live with family.
Hang in there until you are eligible for social security, if u can. It makes all the difference in the world.
I "jumped ship," eligible for company retirement, but too young for social security. Had complete "burn out," could have taken another job at the same company and worked a few more years. I was really lucky to get employment and enjoyed my "new careers"...........but it's one of those shoulda, coulda.
Oh, and here is a biggie: save for a rainy, rainy day. I gained some knowledge and I am still learning, but I lost a lot along the way.
If you need to leave, or are asked to leave; please, please, think. Sometimes we are thinking with our hearts and maybe we should be a little more logical about what we are doing.
There is life after working hard all your adult life; just be smart about your choices. Good Luck.
I wonder how many of the posters are men and how many women? Overgeneralizing, I do think that the importance of one's position matter so much more to men and add to the impetus in the "building up" years, a career, a trajectory. Just my hypothesis.
I (female here, almost 62) have always wanted my earned living to have some positive social impact, aka "save the world." I have ended up as a night shift grunt in a very good psychiatric hospital. Burned out? I no longer feel (and have not felt for a long time) that my own interactions or actions are that important, although I do feel committed to doing the right thing when situations arise. I do feel part of the big machine, that is, I don't know what helps or works particularly, so I do what the job says to do. In a way, it's like the military- I work to support my co-workers on being safe and effective and to back them up. I am not a therapist! I feel like I'm a steady and usually genial cheerleader to be generally courteous and helpful when possible.
I am burned out on the hours, staffing issues, and in recent years, the degree to which insurance rules my world. I recently went to part-time (pro-rated benefits) and pick up some extra shifts, which has cost me money but gives me more control over when I work and where. I have not had ego stuff about what I do (it isn't really possible on my level!) and also never had a "success/go get 'em" background as middle-class and many men have. (It is hard to have an ego about your job when a demented person is hitting you while you wash her butt…)
Yet there are many people who do come into the field late in life, either on pension from elsewhere or going to RN school late in life. Laid-off engineers/software people/financial people who want "more" from their jobs.
I would still like to save a tiny corner of the world in retirement. I think of tutoring refugees in English, continuing to adopt senior dogs, and I hope to continue to send checks to causes that matter to me. I also consider Osher Lifelong Learning, which has two sites relatively near me- learning without the "school" aspect. My own little town used to be a resort-type summer shack at the lake area, for slaughterhouse and tannery workers from the city. The shacks are mostly gone, the lake is still here, and there are lots of walking paths on conservation land.
Rambling here. I guess I'm saying it's a good thing to think of how you want to live in retirement besides NOT WORK, although I think not working is a pretty good start.
I do know many women (divorced) who do wish they'd spent more time at the office, or been more directed to financial success when younger. I think it's a generational thing.
Add: One co-worker, an RN with multiple advanced degrees and two jobs, has plenty of money and lives very quietly. (also think he drinks and was out for time served for a DUI). He recently asked me, "When you retire, what will you do?" and all I could think of was, "Not come to _____ Hospital several nights a week!"
well, now i don't have to start a threat that's identical to this one....
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