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Oh and then there's the sexual aspect. Maybe that's a bigger factor with some older women who don't want it, they just want companionship but feel that men want sex. One friend finally found what she thought was a suitable guy for an online date.He wanted sex on the first date. Unbelievable but true that he turned out to be married with an "ill" wife at home.
This really made me laugh! How "relevant" do these type think they are? And to whom?
A close male friend in his early 70's has finally healed (as much as anyone can) from the loss of a beloved wife, and is looking with interest at single ladies in their 60's. In my opinion, he has much to recommend him.
To his surprise, many of them are not interested in dating anybody (not necessarily rejecting him personally), because they (in his words) "find men irrelevant." This is clearly in opposition to the commonly held view that single women in their 60's are anxious to find male partners.
I believe he is looking in his local area, and don't think he has tried online dating, yet.
Why would the women "find men irrelevant"?
Just wondering what you all thought.
As a single 64 year old woman who had tried to date a couple of men, I find my lack of interest is not that they are irrevelant but that they are wanting to re-create the lifestyle/routine that they enjoyed with their deceased spouse. They wanted to do things that they had done with spouse #1, they wanted someone to pick up and clean up after them, and they really weren't looking at me to determine a new way. more or less in a nut shell.
nice men but I have a good life and don't need to deal with that (unless I bumped into someone with whom we just clicked etc).
So maybe it is not being irrevelant but being not needed.
Rest assured on the other hand there are plenty of widows more than ready to step into the shoes of a previous spouse for financial security and companionship.
Maybe it's that men of that generation made themselves irrelevant by being not particularly functional human beings? I wouldn't take on a man in his seventies because all the men in their seventies that I know are useless! They can't cook, can't clean, can't do anything. It would be like having another child in the house.
Yes, in reality, IMHO, from what I've seen, most women find men irrelevant and unnecessary once past 50 or 60. Most of them have their own home, an income, children, car etc. They don't want someone around to take care of, or be responsible for. But for most men, the attitude is pretty much the same, so its really no big deal at this age.
The only factor I know of, as far as women are concerned, is traveling. For the women who are interested in traveling, men become pretty handy. Most women don't want to travel on their own. If they travel with another woman, they tend to go on bus trips or a cruise, but not with a car or RV. They tend to be pretty timid. So if men get over 60, are promising travel, even if you share expenses, this will likely lure in some female action. I know a case of two like this, plus I've seen some women that will really jump through hoops if they guy promises travel, and she thinks he has some money.
maybe it's that men of that generation made themselves irrelevant by being not particularly functional human beings? I wouldn't take on a man in his seventies because all the men in their seventies that i know are useless! They can't cook, can't clean, can't do anything. It would be like having another child in the house.
Why would anyone take that on? When women in their 60s were young there was no choice if they wanted a pertner and kids, but now they have tasted freedom why would they go back to mothering?
^^^ that
The fact that the OP's friend is looking for a woman ten years his junior, when women typically live longer than men, indicates to me that he IS looking for someone to take care of him. Unless he has the financial wherewithal to make himself attractive to a woman who would likely live as his widow for her last 20 years, he's fishing in the wrong stream.
I have been divorced a long time and the end of the marriage was definitely not good with many "bad" things coming to light. I have to admit, I developed a real distrust of men as far as dating or even re-marrying. Now 32+ years later, I really don't think I'm interested for reasons important to me.
However, I would never say that men are irrelevant. I know too many nice men and enjoy their company if I happen to be in it. But dating? No thanks.
At 73, I'm very independent. I've never had anyone to ask for help with anything. I've gotten used to it and I probably have an attitude of if he does something for me, what does he expect in return?
And for a while, I was looking for someone but none of the men I could have been interested in were interested in me. So I made friends with myself and keep myself happy.
Wow! You and I could be sisters from another mister. I feel the exact same way and have been divorced for nearly the exact amount of years.
I have met a few men who have been interested but when it came down to it their interest was more in the old "nurse or a purse" thing. Maybe it's because men of our generation like to be taken care of and I am used to taking care of the cat which is the only one I want to take care of besides myself.
It seems guys my age with whom I was even just casually acquainted expected me to move in with them after just a short time and begin being their housekeeper. Nertz to that. They were kind of surprised I wasn't into it being a single woman and all don'tcha know. I must want a man in my life.
I just can't figure out that mentality. I've been on my own for over three decades, did they think I was just waiting around for them or I hadn't had any offers before they came along? Like they were doing me this big favor all of a sudden of allowing me to take care of them?
Affection, close friendship, romantic gestures, fondness or love would probably be welcome by a good number of women in their 60's, 70's, and 80's, while marriage is not necessarily sought.
OTOH, maybe older women don't want to date men their own age or older. Maybe they want some young action too, and they politely decline the offers from old guys.
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