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But I know plenty of women who don't want to risk the drama of a relationship, based on their previous experiences. And some women define relevant as being able to support them or make decisions for them or other macho attributes, so they might be saying they have learned (finally in my opinion) to take care of themselves.
But friendships are precious, male or female, so there will be plenty of women who will appreciate getting to know your friend.
Most older women have already buried one man and have no interest in become a live-in nurse and housekeeper for another. Companionship is one thing, living together is something entirely different.
I have been divorced a long time and the end of the marriage was definitely not good with many "bad" things coming to light. I have to admit, I developed a real distrust of men as far as dating or even re-marrying. Now 32+ years later, I really don't think I'm interested for reasons important to me.
However, I would never say that men are irrelevant. I know too many nice men and enjoy their company if I happen to be in it. But dating? No thanks.
At 73, I'm very independent. I've never had anyone to ask for help with anything. I've gotten used to it and I probably have an attitude of if he does something for me, what does he expect in return?
And for a while, I was looking for someone but none of the men I could have been interested in were interested in me. So I made friends with myself and keep myself happy.
A close male friend in his early 70's has finally healed (as much as anyone can) from the loss of a beloved wife, and is looking with interest at single ladies in their 60's. In my opinion, he has much to recommend him.
To his surprise, many of them are not interested in dating anybody (not necessarily rejecting him personally), because they (in his words) "find men irrelevant." This is clearly in opposition to the commonly held view that single women in their 60's are anxious to find male partners.
I believe he is looking in his local area, and don't think he has tried online dating, yet.
Why would the women "find men irrelevant"?
Just wondering what you all thought.
I don't find this to be a commonly held view at all. Nearly every single woman I know in her 60s or 70s doesn't think so either. The entity (if any) pushing that notion would be the media.
Many women in this age bracket do not want to be "taking care of a man" or anyone else in their older years. They have the idea that a man will expect fixed meals and most if not all of the housework and shopping (*yes, I know there are men who do all this, I'm just speaking generally). They may fear having to be the prime personal caretaker during illness and decline (*). They may not want to mix their finances in a possible legal marriage, if dating leads to that. Personalities are greatly fixed at this age, so there's that, the risk of incompatibility, then rejection/breakup. I could go on, but that's the gist.
I think a lot of women are tired of "babysitting". Im in a relationship, but I dont live with him, and only see him a few times a month. That is perfectly fine (in fact its wonderful). When he's here, the house gets dirtier, theres more dishes to clean, laundry to do, plans to be made, more cooking to be done. I dont mind it for a day or two...or three...but after that Im ready to claim my life back. Ive earned it, believe me.
Oh and then there's the sexual aspect. Maybe that's a bigger factor with some older women who don't want it, they just want companionship but feel that men want sex. One friend finally found what she thought was a suitable guy for an online date.He wanted sex on the first date. Unbelievable but true that he turned out to be married with an "ill" wife at home.
Maybe it's that men of that generation made themselves irrelevant by being not particularly functional human beings? I wouldn't take on a man in his seventies because all the men in their seventies that I know are useless! They can't cook, can't clean, can't do anything. It would be like having another child in the house.
Why would anyone take that on? When women in their 60s were young there was no choice if they wanted a pertner and kids, but now they have tasted freedom why would they go back to mothering?
Most older women have already buried one man and have no interest in become a live-in nurse and housekeeper for another. Companionship is one thing, living together is something entirely different.
He needs to shoot for the thirty-two year olds, for obvious, and not so obvious reasons. Women in general, find men most relevant when they are in the reproducing phase of life; and thereafter, men lose relevance fast. It's nothing new. Just the way it is dealt with has changed over time (I,e., divorce rate approaching 50%).
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