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For some who have lived a somewhat frugal life and in the process have accumulated wealth of some sorts, telling them to spend it all isn't anything that is likely possible. . .
It's not that easy to change deeply-embedded behavior.
This is so true. In August I found out I've got cancer (again) and had to change my way of thinking. On one hand I now have to plan for the possibility of long term care. On the other hand, trying to live for the day with the mindset of you never know how long you've got, so get whatever you want. However, it is difficult to just go out and buy anything you might think you want. I still need it to be a "very good deal".
For some who have lived a somewhat frugal life and in the process have accumulated wealth of some sorts, telling them to spend it all isn't anything that is likely possible. I had a client who never married and lived at home with his mother for most of his life until she passed away (Italian thing). He passed away at early age 70 and had to scramble to identify charities to receive his $3 million plus accumulation. He was still rapidly accumulating at the very end.
It's not that easy to change deeply-embedded behavior. My friend probably had a "killer marble collection" as a kid growing up.
one of the reasons trying to time markets ends poorly is just for that very reason .
the type of person who will pull out of markets when they are breaking new highs is usually a nervous nelly type who is afraid the fall is around the corner .
but to buy back in when there is blood in the streets and the words "the markets" makes you want to vomit takes a personality with nerves of steel .
rarely does one person have both quality's . just as rarely do spenders become savers and savers become spenders.
We're leaving a modest/small % inheritance from the estate to our 2 nieces (to be held in trust until they are 35, making sure that they don't squander it foolishly). They can have the contents of the house or wherever we are living; jewelry, family heirlooms, furniture, antiques etc. The rest (if there's any left) will go to named charities.
There is no such thing as "making sure they don't squander it foolishly". Your provision just makes it less likely. Some people will squander any windfall foolishly no matter their age, whether it be 18 or 88. Others, even at 18, would not. It depends on one's personality, mindset, and values.
Being divorced with no kids sure made some things simpler:
1. Social Security: The whole complex business of spousal benefits is something I never had to consider. It makes my eyes glaze over when I read about it in the Retirement Forum.
2. Pension options: My pension had all sorts of options regarding a surviving beneficiary in terms of what percent of the monthly pension payment would go to that beneficiary upon my death and what would be the corresponding reduction of the monthly pension amount for me. No agonizing there; I selected the full pension amount with no beneficiary.
As to how to distribute my assets upon my death, I have selected several charities and arts organizations such as the Los Angeles Master Chorale in addition to my sister, who doesn't really need the money but who will probably be stuck with wrapping everything up.
There is no such thing as "making sure they don't squander it foolishly". Your provision just makes it less likely. Some people will squander any windfall foolishly no matter their age, whether it be 18 or 88. Others, even at 18, would not. It depends on one's personality, mindset, and values.
Can you set up the trust to pay out a little at a time?
I'm find the biggest hurdle to find someone to act as a relative to make all those decisions for you when you can't. I just haven't found an answer to this. I see mention here of an "estate team". What is that? I had asked about a lawyer and was told there would be a conflict of interest.
How far ahead to investigate the CCRC thing? My impression is that these places can go up and down. Is there any advantage to signing up years early?
Although we have children, DH & I don't intend to depend upon or burden them with decisions and arrangements for our care. And even though we have each other for now, inevitably one of us will die or be incapacitated, leaving the other alone.
The two things above are our primary planning vehicles. We've set up the trust with an estate management team and we plan to begin arrangements for reserving our spot in the CCRC we've selected.
We are fortunate in both aspects. We already have a long relationship with the bank under which the estate mgt team functions. They've been around since 1875 and we know many who have used the service through the years.
The CCRC we've selected is in the area to which we hope to relocate within the next 2 years. It's been there for 35 years, is a non-profit established and operated by 5 mainstream denomination churches, has a healthy financial record, and is near an institute known nationally for training and certifying caregivers for the elderly. It's common there for seniors to be able to remain in the "independent living" section of the CCRC and avoid moving into the "assisted living" section because of the availability of skilled caregivers to make regular home visits and checks.
Unfortunately many seniors, due to geographic and other reasons, don't have access to such quality services. It's a quagmire trying to find and evaluate trust managers and CCRCs. What age do you see beginning the CCRC?
Bada Bing and great thoughts for folks to consider
...Depending upon your current age, you might want to talk to an attorney about setting up a trust so that if you do become incapacitated there will a board of people (attorney, accountant, financial planner) to pay your bills, file your insurance claims and any tax returns, and oversee your investments.
At least in Florida - there's no need to set up a trust to do this. One can set up a "pre-need" guardianship.
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I would also discuss getting your will updated and your durable power of attorney, and your living will, etc.
This should definitely be done. Especially if a spouse was named as a sole beneficiary - personal representative or the like.
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...Finally, I decided that I would move to a CCRC when I was older to make sure that there was someone around who could recognize that I was a danger to myself and move me from independent living to whatever care I needed...
How much older? I think some CCRCs can be appropriate for people 65-70+. After all - the concept is "continuing care retirement community". Most CCRCs want/require new residents to move in when they only require "senior independent living" - as opposed to ALF or SNF care. FWIW - we have what I understand is a pretty good one in our area. Vicar's Landing (it has a waiting list). We are also close to lots of good golf . Might be worth a "look see".
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People who are newly bereaved are cautioned that they should not make any major decisions for a year. This is very sound advice. At this time, whether you recognize it or not, you are very vulnerable, so you should give yourself time to heal.
Agreed. My father almost got married < year after my mother died. Long story - but if he had done so - it would have been a big mistake. He found another girlfriend about a year after my mother died - and he has been together with her since then. I think the OP will find that he gets much more attention from women than he ever dreamed at this point. That was the case with both of our fathers (who outlived their wives).
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I hope this helps. Sending you wishes for peace.
Ditto. Robyn
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. Might be worth a "look see".
