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I was on summer vacation and swimming in a lake with my sister. Not sure why or how the subject came up, but my sister told me then that Santa wasn't real. I was shocked and more than a little disappointed. Christmas was never the same after that.
I don't remember telling my kids or when they realized Santa wasn't real. I know the Easter Bunny myth was blown when I fell asleep on the couch waiting for them to fall asleep so I could fill their baskets and hide eggs. They woke up in the morning, and I was still sleeping.....had to run and get their baskets done while they waited. Pitiful.
I think most of us just find out Santa isn't 'real' as time passes and we get older. I found out, for sure, that he wasn't when I was about nine. I had my 'suspicions' and asked my mom about it. She didn't lie and told me I was correct, there really wasn't a Santa BUT I was NOT to say anything to my much younger siblings. I was to help her "keep the secret". Made me feel somewhat grown up, I guess, so I did. The sibs found out in their own good time. I was the same with my own kids. They found out on their own, pretty much, and it was never traumatic for anyone. They just started asking ME for 'stuff' instead of Santa! lol
After a while, the older ones just knew it was my dad, I mean, we just "knew" but we had to keep it going for the younger ones. Never a problem either.
I don't think any of us talked about it either.
I can remember we all baked cookies the night below and my mom told us he really liked milk too.
(Good times)
PS - My 2 children kept it up and my daughter "found" out at one point - most of her friends were Jewish anyway and she always made sure her brother still believed (4 1/2 years apart).
My grandmother sat me down on her lap and told me about the Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy when I was 5. Made me feel like a total idiot because instead of just telling me, she rubbed it in like, "do you really think this giant bunny comes in our house once a year?" And "what would a fairy do with your teeth?"
She ended the conversation by telling me "but of course Santa is real!" And after my 6th or 7th Christmas, sat me down on her lap again with more logic like "how do you think Santa could get everywhere in one night?"
I don't recommend the "make your kid feel like an idiot approach." It was almost sadistic.
My mom thought I believed until I was like 10. I thought she knew Grams told me and was just using the "Santa" word in jest. She was angry when she learned I found out like 5 Christmases prior.
I had fun watching others find out. I told many he wasn't real but they didn't believe me. Yes, i was THAT kid! But in my defense, it WAS presented to me like "if you don't know this you're an idiot" so I thought I was helping.
I never cared much for the Santa charade and as I got older felt more and more that I was being lied to. It seemed to be more important to my mom than me. When I was six, I pestered my older brothers until they told me the truth. I was relieved and not at all traumatized. Most of my childhood was spent with my great grandmother who was a very practical old country woman. I don't remember her talking much about Santa Claus - that was my mom's thing.
Does this thread need to be in a parenting forum? Or, are we really saying that some kids will believe in Santa until they are in their 70's and inherit an estate? Or borrow cheap money all their lives to get new stuff? If this crap really ended at age 8 it would be a different world.... But our economy would suck.....just sayin'.
I gave where I placed this query some thought. I did want input from my peers though, and my peers post in this thread. I am curious about how things might have changed from my childhood to now.
These are interesting posts. I found out when I was about 5. An older neighbor child told me and my sister. She was even younger than I was, so she found out really early. We didn't tell our youngest sister though. And my mom told us that we mustn't tell other kids. So, I don't think either of us did.
DH tells me that he believed until he was 10 or so! When he told me that, I was shocked.
I hinted about the real nature of Santa at some point to my older kids, and I have no memory of when my youngest learned. I have no idea if what I did was the best way or not. I do hear from some of you that the magic left when you learned. I can't remember feeling magic, but I do get it.
I also think it is interesting that there is a similar discussion on internet sites among young parents. It is as if we haven't really come to a consensus about this as a culture. And I think Elf on a Shelf is stupid and manipulative. But apparently there are adherents who like to move an stuffed elf around to convince the kiddos that Santa is watching them. Ugh.
I do like the idea that Santa is more of an ideal, or conveyor of parental love at this time of year. I am not thrilled that is is considered the embodiment of the Christmas Spirit though.
To the poster who believes that you aren't a believer if you don't believe in saints, I wonder, how that is pertinent to this discussion? I doubt anyone here really believes that Saint Nicholas, the historic person, brings presents to good little children on Dec 24.
To the poster who believes that you aren't a believer if you don't believe in saints, I wonder, how that is pertinent to this discussion? I doubt anyone here really believes that Saint Nicholas, the historic person, brings presents to good little children on Dec 24.
Instead of telling your children Santa is a myth, tell them he's a saint, and he brought food to starving children, and we celebrate him by putting goodies in stockings to imitate his good deeds.
We discussed this again with our 11 year old this week because out of the blue when we were out looking at Christmas lights, he said it was "stupid" to believe in Santa Claus because how could one man get around the world in that amount of time, etc. Good proof of a working brain and logic, and it led into a good discussion about the fact that literally no, there is no Santa in the sense of one man doing all of it all around the world. We told him that in a sense Santa is real, because all over the world there are people who have Santa as part of their Christmas tradition, and they buy presents for their children to show their love - that it is this *feeling* that is magical and allows every child who gets presents to get them "all at once" on the same day. It's the unspoken agreement and tradition that gets passed down that Christmas is a special time of year, that you should have "Christmas Spirit" and think about what others need and want. We talked about how life is hard when you grow up and sometimes it is nice to have those memories to look back on and remember that life isn't always hard, that there are people who are kind and want the best for children. We talked about how people donate money and toys to agencies who distribute them to families who can't afford presents, and how that is an example of the kindness we were talking about. We also talked about how he should never tell a younger child that Santa isn't real, because it's nice to believe in a magical, kind tradition when you are little so that later on you can remember it, and also that it's not anyone's business but a kid's parents to tell them that.
We then discussed (between ourselves, the 2 adults in the car) how we had never understood the story of the loaves and fishes in the Bible until one time at church a sermon enlightened us -- how the minister said that it might not have been a literal miracle, or magic trick, but more of a feeling of wanting to share with others that caused people to share food that they had brought and held back from the collection, so that everyone got full. Something about that made us realize that it is the spirit of giving, not a literal "poof, there's now enough!" moment -- similar to a loaves and fishes food pantry at church where people donate out of their surplus and everyone gets fed.
sorry so long and rambling; haven't posted in a long time.
Instead of telling your children Santa is a myth, tell them he's a saint, and he brought food to starving children, and we celebrate him by putting goodies in stockings to imitate his good deeds.
I love this!! I actually did not know this about Saint Nicholas, and I will definitely pass that along. Thanks.
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from friends before being told at home. Lol, why not milk another year out of it?
Kind of like my family
But in my defense, it WAS presented to me like "if you don't know this you're an idiot" so I thought I was helping.
Santa telling
