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Old 10-02-2016, 01:09 PM
 
6,371 posts, read 5,101,471 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Not sure how this will fit into this thread, hopefully you'll send me to where I should be.

It's not a problem of losing "things". I seem to manage OK with always putting keys in same place, I wear glasses all the time and take them off just before bedtime and put them on when I wake up.

I seem to have lost me. I know that sounds weird. But where did the enthusiastic, energetic, happy, positive person I once was go?? I'm noticing more and more how lonely I am and wish I had a significant other that I could do things with, discuss things, have help in making major decisions. I feel like I've been doing that on my own for a very long time and in the past six months or so, I'm just not managing. I'm scared my mind is going. I do at times think of things I want to do but by the time I could be doing them, it's too late in the day. I wander around (in a 1-bedroom apartment!) not knowing what to do next.

I know there are times when I'm not the easiest person to get along with. Though I like to think I'm not the only one on the planet with this problem.

I know.... I'm having a wicked pity party and I need to get off the pot. Suggestions?

I'd like to hear from people who may have had a similar experience or who are currently going though it.
I kind of know what you are talking about.

I live with someone, but we are more like "war of the roses" without the fights. Like roommates. I too would like to have someone to do things with. It is strange when I hear my female companions say that they don't need a man or would ever be in a relationship again. I just don't want to be like that.

As for the not being happy. I've noticed that these same companions can tend to be negative people. I'm with them and my day ends badly because I just want to throttle them to make them see how good they have it in life.

So I have been doing different things - more exercise for example - and just not hang around the negative nellies. Exercise puts me in a great mood - especially the yoga. I also try to see the positive side of things.

It can be hard to fill the hours of the day when you are retired and have no long term hobbies. People garden quilt, cook etc. Just not my thing.

I've even thought of getting a part time job. Maybe you could do that to fill up some of your time?
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Old 10-02-2016, 01:28 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,704 posts, read 3,272,352 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I kind of know what you are talking about.

I live with someone, but we are more like "war of the roses" without the fights. Like roommates. I too would like to have someone to do things with. It is strange when I hear my female companions say that they don't need a man or would ever be in a relationship again. I just don't want to be like that.

As for the not being happy. I've noticed that these same companions can tend to be negative people. I'm with them and my day ends badly because I just want to throttle them to make them see how good they have it in life.

So I have been doing different things - more exercise for example - and just not hang around the negative nellies. Exercise puts me in a great mood - especially the yoga. I also try to see the positive side of things.

It can be hard to fill the hours of the day when you are retired and have no long term hobbies. People garden quilt, cook etc. Just not my thing.

I've even thought of getting a part time job. Maybe you could do that to fill up some of your time?
Thank you for responding. It's good to know there is another person who can somewhat relate to me and how I'm feeling.

Part time work.... I've thought about it. But my eyes are not always working like I want them to. I can see, I do drive, but I have moments of blurriness, burning, and having to stop what I'm doing to take care of them. No usual time for that to happen, it just happens. Sometimes drops help, sometimes not. I have an excellent ophthalmologist (glaucoma specialist) and he has explained it's something I will need to learn to live with. I have fought it for a while, given him a hard time about it, seen another eye doctor who sent me to my current doctor when problems got worse. Surgery, laser, drops, shots in the eye, anything you can think of is just about what my eyes have had done to them. So I have to "give in" and admit to myself that this is how it is and will remain. So I've decided to not add to the stress I already have by trying to do a job with the situation being what it is.

My main problem is lighting a "fire" under my seat to get me moving. I can get up in the morning and think about some things I would like to do but by the time it's 3:30-4:00, they don't happen. I let myself get "stuck" on the computer. It's an addiction and I need to break it, but it sure isn't easy. There are no 12 step programs to help.

I got another jolt recently re health and it kind of scared me. Possibility of a more serious problem in another part of my body. So I'm concerned with finding some security that is not present now.

I've been wanting to run away from everything for the past couple of years. I want to move so I'm near the ocean, but money is tight and it's not cheap to live where I want to live.

So I'm in my own self-made pit. And can't find a ladder to get out of it.

I know it's up to me. It's just getting started that is the problem.
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Old 10-02-2016, 01:38 PM
 
6,371 posts, read 5,101,471 times
Reputation: 12946
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Thank you for responding. It's good to know there is another person who can somewhat relate to me and how I'm feeling.

Part time work.... I've thought about it. But my eyes are not always working like I want them to. I can see, I do drive, but I have moments of blurriness, burning, and having to stop what I'm doing to take care of them. No usual time for that to happen, it just happens. Sometimes drops help, sometimes not. I have an excellent ophthalmologist (glaucoma specialist) and he has explained it's something I will need to learn to live with. I have fought it for a while, given him a hard time about it, seen another eye doctor who sent me to my current doctor when problems got worse. Surgery, laser, drops, shots in the eye, anything you can think of is just about what my eyes have had done to them. So I have to "give in" and admit to myself that this is how it is and will remain. So I've decided to not add to the stress I already have by trying to do a job with the situation being what it is.

My main problem is lighting a "fire" under my seat to get me moving. I can get up in the morning and think about some things I would like to do but by the time it's 3:30-4:00, they don't happen. I let myself get "stuck" on the computer. It's an addiction and I need to break it, but it sure isn't easy. There are no 12 step programs to help.

I got another jolt recently re health and it kind of scared me. Possibility of a more serious problem in another part of my body. So I'm concerned with finding some security that is not present now.

I've been wanting to run away from everything for the past couple of years. I want to move so I'm near the ocean, but money is tight and it's not cheap to live where I want to live.

So I'm in my own self-made pit. And can't find a ladder to get out of it.

I know it's up to me. It's just getting started that is the problem.
I had a relative recently tell me that she was having a hard time just getting through the day. She felt she accomplished nothing. I told her what helps me. I set a goal for the next day. I do it before I go to sleep. It might be something as simple as prepping my fruit for the week. Takes all of 15 minutes. But if that is my goal for the day and it gets done - it feels great!
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Old 10-02-2016, 01:38 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,849,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I make sure the clothes I purchase have pockets just so I can have a place to put my keys. I don't like to throw them in my purse. They go in my pocket as soon as I get out of my car and then to a small glass container I have on my dresser.
I don't even carry a purse anymore. Haven't for decades; probably at least 30 years.

When I go out all I carry is a small wallet, cell phone, and car keys. They all fit into my pockets. No worries about setting something down and forgetting. No worries about someone taking my purse out of the grocery cart. If I need glasses to shop, they are just hung on my shirt.

Actually, I can't even recall what I put into a purse when I did use one!

I have reading glasses in every room of the house, and a pair in the car. Keys go on a hook right inside the door.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in deep in Maine
3,665 posts, read 2,825,609 times
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I lost my bi-focals about a year ago. They never turned up.

Luckily my eyes are getting more and more farsighted, and now my two sets of reading glasses are now my regular glasses. I need a new set of bi-focals. I'm going to get a pair that is sun glassed too, but then I have to see an optometrist first.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:07 PM
 
6,371 posts, read 5,101,471 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Terrier View Post
I don't even carry a purse anymore. Haven't for decades; probably at least 30 years.

When I go out all I carry is a small wallet, cell phone, and car keys. They all fit into my pockets. No worries about setting something down and forgetting. No worries about someone taking my purse out of the grocery cart. If I need glasses to shop, they are just hung on my shirt.

Actually, I can't even recall what I put into a purse when I did use one!

I have reading glasses in every room of the house, and a pair in the car. Keys go on a hook right inside the door.
I've tried to go purseless, but just can't! I have toned it down to smaller lighter shoulder bags. I used to carry large leather monstrosities! All gone now.

What is strange is that before the big leather monstrosities, I used the smallest type purses I could find. That was the days before cells phones though. I'm not comfortable with carrying my phone just in a pocket.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:19 PM
 
Location: Central NY
4,704 posts, read 3,272,352 times
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Re the monster handbags. I'm thinking of a woman I knew who carried one that looked like an overnight bag (maybe even bigger) and carried everything but the kitchen sink in it. But had to seek help for her painful back and shoulder. The doctor explained what she thought would help (a smaller bag) and woman thought that was a ridiculous idea.

Oh well.
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Old 10-02-2016, 02:49 PM
 
6,371 posts, read 5,101,471 times
Reputation: 12946
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal1542 View Post
Re the monster handbags. I'm thinking of a woman I knew who carried one that looked like an overnight bag (maybe even bigger) and carried everything but the kitchen sink in it. But had to seek help for her painful back and shoulder. The doctor explained what she thought would help (a smaller bag) and woman thought that was a ridiculous idea.

Oh well.
I didn't go smaller by a lot, just got different material. The leather ones were HEAVY by themselves.

Now I carry one made of nylon - 2 different colors, same style and brand. I still have one nice black leather bag (medium sized) for more than everyday use.
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Old 10-02-2016, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Idaho
1,458 posts, read 1,162,571 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RiverBird View Post
That would be pricey to have three, esp since I need a new script every year. But not a bad idea.
I have at least 3 pairs of each kind of glasses (reading, computer, bifocal for flying/driving). I got them quite cheaply from Zenni optical. Single focal pairs at $6.99/pair and bifocal at less than $20/pair.

We have ordered from Zenni for years and very happy with the quality.

Zenni filled pretty much all prescriptions except bifocal with prism. My husband had to order his bifocal from Eyebyedirect. They cost a bit more than Zenni.

Having multiple pairs of glasses is a necessity to deal with forgetfulness in our old ages.
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Old 10-02-2016, 04:11 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,764 posts, read 7,849,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clemencia53 View Post
I'm not comfortable with carrying my phone just in a pocket.
Well, I have a 'dumb' phone. It's pretty small; fits in my back pocket. The smart phones keep getting bigger and bigger!
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