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Before you donate, take a step back and look into how they spend the money. Is most of it going to Administrative costs (ie., fancy lunches and travel for the top brass?). The Salvation Army is one of the very few that I trust. Not too many more.
When I realized I'd be on a fixed income (Soc.Sec.and pension) and moving to another state, I looked at my monthly charitable donations, picked those that were well-rated on Charity Navigator, withdrew from the big ones (who I figured don't need my $25/month as much as something small/local) and settled on six charities,not so well known for $25/month. I also leave mental space for emergencies, like disasters, etc. mostly for animal causes. I will be joining some things here in my new town, like the local theater, and joining with an annual donation.
Am rewriting my will to go to the animal sanctuary that any dogs I have will go to, with backup charities for smaller amounts. Maybe OP would feel better about less donating if she had a will giving remaining assets to her worthy causes, but keeping her assets for her own needs now. You cannot save the world, even with your $25/month. Have to pick a few spots and do the best you can.
I tend to find spending painful, so it's not hard for me to stop spending.
I guess the only thing I can say is don't buy anything that isn't a true need. And that includes scrutinizing things like groceries. Yes, you need food, but you don't need the expensive brand of everything and steak every night. You can stock up on things you buy regularly when they go on sale, etc.
I agree you can donate your time to a volunteer organization instead of money. You need to find something else that doesn't cost money that gives you the same feeling that spending money does. Are you in a position to find a part time job? That would get you out of the house, give you something to do and provide you with some people to interact with.
It seems like you might benefit from a professional to help you deal with some of your budgeting issues.
... I only donate locally. Church, local food bank, agency working with homeless. etc. When I am tempted to donate to a national organization, I stop to remind myself how much goes for overhead.
Oh, one exception---I do donate to Red Cross after a major disaster.
The Bolded:
I now only donate to people I can see, live, in person.
It's a mindset. You spend to escape. It's how it makes you feel. My sister is the same. She has a more than adequate annuitized income and still manages to build up credit card debt and never has money when she needs to do things around her house. Shops online and buys purses, paintings, jewelry - nothing she needs.
Because she doesn't value her credit, she gets no 0% credit card offers. Ends up taking from retirement funds for the big bills and then has a big unnecessary tax bill which requires yet another taxable withdrawal and triggers a higher Medicare premium to boot.
I could go over there to help her w/money management, I can't stop her spending money she shouldn't on useless stuff.
I've never been a thoughtless spender. When I retired I set up an Excel budget sheet and cut, cut, cut anywhere I could, found good deals on things I was paying too much for, bought coupons off ebay for groceries, was a real skinflint for years, found a great Medicare plan (not available in most states) that pays me instead of me paying them. That alone put me ahead about $4k/year. Today, I have more retirement money now than I did nine years ago, despite taking RMDs for the past seven years and always have more than enough money in a money market for emergencies.
If I had blown more than 50% of my retirement savings the first nine years of my retirement, I can't imagine how depressed I'd be. Horrible thought.
You need to get very HARD HEADED about money. It's not difficult. 2+2 still equals four. Further, you need to comprehend the future value of the money you do not spend today. Regularly spending $200/mo. on dumb stuff, instead of investing in a relatively conservative mutual fund at 7%, equates to $30,000 ten years from now. Think about this every time you want to throw away money.
I guess I'll never ever understand the mentality of just buying stuff you want but don't need and damned the consequences. Is this a disease? I mean it's like banging your head with a hammer, why do they do this? I'm sorry, I have a hard time feeling any sympathy for those people who did this to themselves.
The Bolded:
I now only donate to people I can see, live, in person.
But the Red Cross?
Sorry,..they can go to hell.
I used to give to the Red Cross when there was a big time emergency. Then I found out that the money does not always go to that emergency. They stockpile the money for other things that come up. So basically you are just paying into their bank account for other things that happen down the line. Nothing wrong with that I suppose - but they do not tell you that. I find it a bit shady. I now give to the homeless shelter, the food pantry and the Salvation Army.
HATE to sound like a complete whuss, or worse yet, totally undisciplined,.......................
oh ok, i admit it, i am, gotta admit, self control never was part of my lexicon....but:
i can't get away with the bad bad habit of just buying whatever the hell i feel like. i promise, no more mosquito nets for entire villages in Africa, no more goats or chickens or wells either, not going to send any more money to Haiti or Puerto Rico. No more St. Jude's hospital. no more USO and other charities i give in my dad's name because he did, I do not have the retirement income he had, he had a great pension, and i didn't. I'm not Gloria Vanderbuilt for goddess's sake!!!!!!
I'm on my last $97 grand, and truly can't waste it the way i just went thru $100 K the past 8 years.... ok, there was the scammer that bilked me outta a huge sum of money.... almost $50,000. sheesh, was i dumb or what, i just never thought this kid would have done this to me, he truly was the son i had just lost in Fallujah a few years prior, he called me "mama C", he knew all the right buttons to push and i never suspected a thing..... but can't make such an excuse for that other $50K..... i totally spent money i shouldn't have to try to save the world, i can't keep giving endlessly!!!!!
Any one have some suggestions how to curb my spending therapy gene????? hints, self help websites???
I swore I would live by a budget this year, and it's May and STILL have not added up all my monthly expenses v.s. my monthly income. gotta do it, will do it. promise. kinda had to get over this huge hump this month for my lifelong friend who i never bought a birthday card for.... awful of me, i know, but there were very good reasons.... but i had to make up for it, just had to.... so no more visa charging for the rest of the year. seriously, will do that.... and make that budget before June
but maybe a few of you hear your old habit now alive in me, and how did you conquer it??? thanks so much for your help, i still don't know how to answer people privately (heck, so many nice people have left way over 350 rep points and comments since i returned from long ago, 2012!!!! , and i haven't a clue how to do it back. everyone here has been so kind, so nice, so darn friendly and complementary. honest, I could send you all a gift card to your fave restaurant! SEE??? this is how i think!!!!!!
There's a 12 step program for that.
But changing isn't what you want is it.
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