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My son called me last night and texted me this morning with a picture of himself wearing a Tshirt that says "Mom" and told me he's coming home for a week in July.
He promised me we could go on that long hike I've been wanting to take my two dogs on.
I'm very happy! Got myself a pedicure yesterday because I haven't had one all winter and I'm content.
I always loved Mother's Day and I remember my own mother giving me a card on the Mother's Day before my daughter was born. (She was born in July). She wrote on the card "just think how proud you will be next Mother's Day) - and I was. I still have the card.
I grew with a father in the country club/restaurant business so always a big day.
My mother had so many friends, very social. I was lucky to get her 2 days out of the year and it became a habit because I took her to a place she loved. Her birthday was in November and then Mother's Day in May so we would go the Saturday before those events and I would take her to Bal Harbour in Miami Beach (upscale mall with nice stores). We would always eat at Neiman Marcus (popovers were her favorite there and dessert) - just a guilty pleasure. Then, she could pick out anything she wanted in the whole mall. My mom was very frugal but I would make her get something nice.
Those trips gave me so much pleasure and I just loved spending 6-7 hours just with her. It was less than an hour drive and still special every year. We did it for close to 20 years.
My husband was not so good about remembering his mom until he married me. Then, I always made sure she got flowers, a card, whatever we thought she would like.
But, I do think my children did watch what we did. Until they were around 17, I always gave them little gifts with notes saying I wouldn't be a mother without you. Nothing really huge - just little things.
Our son always comes by with a card and we go out to eat somewhere. Today, he even wanted to go to church which was the best gift of all but I am feeling sick (sore throat, cold) so next week is planned. He never misses it and goes to the Hallmark store and picks out a beautiful card. (Both his grandmothers kept the Hallmark stores in business!)
My daughter just started remembering (other than a phone call) a couple of years ago. Last year, she sent me beautiful chocolates from Godiva (blew the diet, oh well) and this year, a beautiful floral arrangement in a vase like a pitcher. Just lovely with a nice card too. So, she's growing up. (lives out of state).
One of my daughter's friends lost her dad last year in a tragic accident. He was like a 2nd father to her and I think she is beginning to realize the fraility of life.
My own sister, now a widow, is using her sadness/grief into bringing joy to others. This has helped her so much and I just see the joy in her face. This week, she remembered those that will not be remembered on this day by what she is doing. (She now has a non profit and it's very cool - growing as she grows in a sense).
Not to be too over-exacting, but going to a relative's apartment to sit (inside or outside?) and eat delivered BBQ is not "going to a BBQ" in commonly-held jargon, as another poster also stated. But the delivered food will hopefully be delicious!
A case of beer for 4 adults? (or is it 6 adults?)
1. We will be sitting inside (it is on the seventh floor).
2. I should have said "we are going to BIL apartment to eat BBQ"!
3. It is the best "Chancho ala cilindro, Papas huancaina and Choclo con Aji" I ever tried!
4. Wife and I do not drink beer so it will be for about 3-4 others.
Son fooled me, as usual. He called earlier than expected then took his wife and kids to Lake Norris (TN) for a hike and fishing. DIL just sent me a picture of grandson knee deep with fishing rod.
Daughter and I talked on the phone. She is in PA
Daughter, DIL, and I basically exchanged candles and bath goodies.
I get a phone call from my son (he's 34, steady girlfriend, no kids) every couple weeks, usually a txt or two a week. He lives 1,000 miles away. For Mother's Day, I expect he'll call this evening. I've never been an "I expect presents!" sort of person for any holiday and certainly not this one.
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It's always a terrible mistake to "judge" one situation when you only have part of the information.
My kids were not raised to be disrespectful. At least not by me.
I've gone into detail regarding the circumstances in other posts and I'm just not into talking about it again. But if people want to think, based on their limited information that I didn't do something right, well, you are welcome to your opinion. I just don't care what you think anymore.
A counselor told me a long time ago to remember my kids had two parents, not just one. In other words, I needed to realize I was not the only influence on my children's attitudes/behavior.
It's good to keep an open mind. But if you can't and need to judge, there is nothing I can do or care to do. It's your problem.
Well, I do remember some of your previous posts about your family & I feel you deserve so much better than what you have, so far, received.
I don’t much care about those who will say “there are two sides ...” I’m going on gut instinct & I will back you up on this.
I can’t remember where it was that I saw the statement: “The best thing a man man can do for his children is to respect their mother”. But it’s true. Kids, maybe more so boys; see their mother through their fathers eyes.
Some kids can think outside of the box & appreciate a mom who has struggled due to a fathers disrespect but that indicates a higher level of emotional perception on the part of that child & it’s not representative of typical childhood development.
Even a single, divorced dad can do this during their time with the kids. It’s not easy & they might bite their tongue till it’s bloody but it’s the right thing to do as a parent, if you want the best for your child.
I believe that you, in particular, had to swim upstream to raise your kids. I’m sure you weren’t perfect. I’m not perfect & to be honest, there have been times when I needed to be smacked upside the head & told to grow up & be the mom my kids deserved. But you didn’t create the disrespect you are being shown.
Add to that our increasingly anti-natalist society & Im surprised there is a Mothers Day on the calendar at all. There is little, if any, positive validation in society for being a mom. Every measure of success in our lives is judged on a worldly scale of personal achievement & financial gain. Children, bless their hearts; run counter to this scale. As opposed to agricultural communities, where children are an asset; the child in a consumerist society is a burden.
The child as a negative is evidenced here on these forums all the time: Want to be a “hot” senior woman? Don’t have kids! Want to retire early? Don’t have kids! Want to be even marginally financially viable? Shouldn’t have had those kids.
“I’d rather be on a 6 hour flight with a dozen flying squirrels that with some baby” ... If you drink too much? Mom’s fault. Panic attacks? Mom’s fault. Can’t hold a job? Mom’s fault. The message is clear & it’s everywhere.
Google’s front page today: “Read love letters from children to their incarcerated mothers”. Yay. Go Mom. Apparently the narrative for the value of a mother is “We need & love you so much but your not available”. It’s freaking Mother’s Day & we will focus on convicted felon mothers instead of being grateful for the women who sacrificed for our benefit.
Yes. I know. Not everyone had a good mom. Probably more of a reason to validate the everyday average moms. Even as average we can do so much good. Because those that didn’t have one will still be hurting 30, 40, 50+ years later. Mom’s are a high-impact resource, obviously.
I’ve accepted that my worth as a mother will be measured by a higher court that is not of this world, as will yours & so many others. Your kids are older than I am but I will hold out hope that they come to their senses. If possible, treat yourself today to some small indulgence & Happy Mothers Day!
My step-son took my DW out for lunch on Friday. He had to get stuff done at work today. Put flowers on my mom's grave. She was a very loving mother. Step out of line though, and she'd put you in your place.
No, my mother has always been such a low key person, heck she never holds her own birthday! I remember when I was 10(I'm 31 now)I made a card for her in school and I was saddened because I felt the card was not my best effort. But she told me she did not feel it was important.
One of my kids came and took me out to lunch and brought me a gift and a card. That was nice.
I got texts from the other ones.
I cried at one of the texts, because that person usually shows up or gets me flowers or something.
I think if people don't make any effort, they either have resentments or they don't love you.
If you love someone, you show up for them in any way you can and let them know.
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How I use this day
