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I recently signed up for cremation with the Neptune Society. I had questions after signing up and found them to be very helpful with answers.
My family can do whatever with the ashes. I have a biodegradable urn. If they want to bury that, fine. If they want to keep it on a mantle, fine. If they want to scatter my ashes, fine. I do not want to be stuck in the ground in a coffin.
I bought space near my family ‘plot’ when my wife died. I was 58 then. Now, at 70, I have a space next to my wife and a headstone with my name on it just waiting under a Magnolia tree. That sounds a little morbid but it makes things a little easier and I sort of like knowing. The problem is the that I live 1000 mile$ away now so maybe I can be freeze dried with a ten minute memorial service as I’m planted.
I bought my plot when I was 56 years old, after having handled the burial arrangements for my dad and also for my estranged husband. It was a real education in the value of doing as much as possible beforehand.
I bought my own plot because my parents are in a National Cemetery (my dad was a WW2 vet), and also there's no way I'd want to be in the same cemetery as my ex-husband is, LOL. Took me about six months of visiting local cemeteries to find the right cemetery for me and then a plot that I liked within it. The cemetery is about 10 miles from where I live now, and 20 miles from where my son lives.
Because I hate the crowded look of most cemeteries, I bought a full plot which technically can hold four interments. I also designed my own headstone and had it made and put in place; all my son will need to do is to have the monument company add the date of death, and arrange for the liner in the hole, etc which is required by law here and cannot be done ahead of time. I have instructions with the cemetery that I will be centered in front of the headstone and then because ownership of the plot will pass to my son, he will have the option to use the space on the "back" side for himself or himself and his wife, and have whatever inscription they want on the the blank reverse side of the headstone.
I did this partly to spare my son the stress and expense of those circumstances as much as possible (been there/done that so I know how crazy it gets) but also because, frankly, I wanted to choose exactly where I end up and the appearance of the headstone. I've seen too many situations where the family either does things the way THEY want instead of how the deceased would have wanted it, or are pushed into spending way too much money on the whole thing either out of a sense of guilt or by being overwhelmed, or end up with some slapdash affair because they either don't care or can't afford much.
I'm one of those who hates the idea of cremation, and although I am pretty sure my son does also, I wanted to make sure that I end up in a place of my choosing in that way as well. I want to be in a specific place that my son can always go to if he wishes. Also I want there to be some permanent physical evidence left behind that the person who is me once existed. Houses get sold, gardens get overgrown, belongings get given or thrown away, descendants eventually die .... but granite lasts a heck of a long time, LOL. There's a beautiful black granite Victorian era obelisk two plots away from mine that's still in fine shape after about 150 years, for example.
I don't want one. I don't want to occupy any more space on this earth once my time is over. My parents will likely berate me in the afterlife for this decision
I have a family plot back on Cape Cod where my parents and grandparents are buried, however we moved on retirement to WV. So my plan it to be buried in the WV National Cemetery in Grafton WV. my husband was in the Air Force.
And I do not think the cremation is a no brainer. It might be fine for those that want it but it is not for everyone.
When did you buy a cemetery plot? What age and what made you do it?
When I was 28 I went to visit my father's grave after the stone was in place, and I discovered that my mother had sweetly bought a plot of me and already had the stone in place with my birth date on it and just waiting for the D-day date. Her tendency to ownership was amazing.
I live more than three thousand miles away and have plans to be cremated and my ashes scattered. I have decided to approach the cemetery and see if they might want to buy "my" plot as a latrine for visitors.
I'm doing cremation or green burial if available where and when I die. But my mom's family has a plot in a gorgeous historial cemetery in Wheeling, WV with one space available, which my aunt had told me before her death, I could have. I don't want it, but I don't have any kind of document showing I even own it. I was executor of her estate but there was nothing in her belongings about it, and she was a very organized person; over the years as she aged she sent me numerous letters with info about all her insurance policies, safe deposit box, etc.
So there's a plot sitting there that no one is ever going to use and I don't see any way of proving I have the authority to sell it.
I'm doing cremation or green burial if available where and when I die. But my mom's family has a plot in a gorgeous historial cemetery in Wheeling, WV with one space available, which my aunt had told me before her death, I could have. I don't want it, but I don't have any kind of document showing I even own it. I was executor of her estate but there was nothing in her belongings about it, and she was a very organized person; over the years as she aged she sent me numerous letters with info about all her insurance policies, safe deposit box, etc.
So there's a plot sitting there that no one is ever going to use and I don't see anyway of proving I have the authority to sell it.
I would bet there are a lot of plots like that all over. Unused, never will be used. Family moved away, etc.
I have been doing some photos for FindAGrave.com and spending time in cemeteries. Makes me glad DH was cremated. It would be too sad to have a grave that I could visit.
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