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superk, I have no money or assets anymore either. If something goes wrong, like the government shutting down again, I am screeeeewed. Next step would be troll under the bridge for me.
Does Dad get SS? Is he a VET? I applied yesterday to the VA because Vets and their widow(er)s are entitled to $1200 a month. You can spend the money on anything I was told. Maybe you could find him a home. You can do an online search for ALFs. They usually have prices, care, floor plans on their websites.
Good luck. I hope you don't have to go the caregiver route again.
I'm confused. If you have no money or assets, how are you able to afford assisted living?
When I works in-patient geriatric dementia, often people would go from home with poor functioning to assisted living, like a Hail Mary for their conditions. Didn't usually last long in assisted living and needed more.
My mother made it almost 3 years in assisted living before it became impossible and I had to move her to memory care at a CCRC. I had to hire outside people several hours per day or the ALF wouldn’t have worked at all. In my mother’s case, a transition straight from a single family home to memory care would have been far too abrupt. She had a transition into a 2 bedroom apartment with her parlor grand piano, art, and furniture and people she knew were in every day.
I'm confused. If you have no money or assets, how are you able to afford assisted living?
Pension? Life insurance annuities? Social Security? I couldn’t do it in my zip code but in a low cost of living area, I could afford Medicare, supplemental, and a modest assisted living apartment on my high career earner delay-to-70 Social Security check. My age 70 benefit just COLA adjusted to be more than $50k.
What distresses me, is:
We are born, raised set out in the world to "contribute" to the goings-on of the country/world, but then when we are of no use anymore, they want to toss us away.
All of work and contributions are for naught.
Unless you've got a few million to pay for your elder (after work usefulness), nobody wants to deal with you.
I do understand those that take care of us want to be paid for their contributions to life/world through work of their own, but seriously we are no longer valued after our "usefulness".
A neighbor had a garage sale, and to get mother out in the neighborhood, I pushed her wheelchair over there.
The neighbor said her mother had recently passed, and after she and 3 siblings took what they wanted from her mother's estate, the rest was auctioned off.
Everything was auctioned off, property included. BUT, one item was not bought, at any price, and was put to the curb for garbage collection.
It was a rocking chair, her mother's favorite, which her mother preferred to sit in most of her life.
Neighbor said "that's what your life comes down to: a rocking chair nobody wants".
Is it assisted living or independent living in a continuing care retirement place? I know a lot of people conflate the two, I thought they were different levels.
You can enter into an assisted living even if you are completely independent. I have worked in assisted-living facilities where a lot of the residents still drive. We had one resident who wasn’t really sure he wanted to move in permanently, so he kept his home down the street and would go home for the day and come back to sleep at night. When my mother moved into an assisted living facility, she was completely independent including taking her own medicines. However, 10 years later she died there on hospice. She had declined through the years with the last few requiring extensive assistance and was able to stay in the same apartment she moved into throughout.
Of course, as you need more help your monthly fee goes up. She paid $3000 a month or so when she first moved in, but her bill was up to $9000 a month when she died. Because she had paid privately for three years though, she was allowed to stay there once she ran out of money and was then on Medicaid.
There really isn’t that much difference between moving into an assisted living facility as an independent person, and moving into a continuing care retirement community, in my opinion.
However, I know with 100% certainty, if she had been in a CCRC, they would have moved her to the nursing home level several years ago. While the assisted living facility did not have a nursing home level, so they just let her stay in her apartment with more help. That’s the drawback of moving to a place that has levels, they are quick to downgrade you when you start to need help. And the papers you sign when you move in give them the right to do so. I worked for 8 years at a very nice facility that had assisted living and attached nursing home. When ALF patients were in the skilled nursing part for rehab, we were often fighting for the ALF to take them back after their rehab was done. They just wanted the person to stay in the skilled nursing part if they required more care than before. This was especially true if they considered the person difficult in general. So make sure they like you if you’re in a CCRC, lol.
Continuing care requirement communities also often require huge fees upfront, while assisted living facilities do not.
Ugh, I would not want to be in a nursing home unless I didn't know where I was! Nope, I hope I am in the ground before that!
since this is a small town, most of the people that worked there were from town, so we all knew them. So it was like basically being with family. And she knew someone would go see her every day.
You can enter into an assisted living even if you are completely independent. I have worked in assisted-living facilities where a lot of the residents still drive. We had one resident who wasn’t really sure he wanted to move in permanently, so he kept his home down the street and would go home for the day and come back to sleep at night. When my mother moved into an assisted living facility, she was completely independent including taking her own medicines. However, 10 years later she died there on hospice. She had declined through the years with the last few requiring extensive assistance and was able to stay in the same apartment she moved into throughout.
Of course, as you need more help your monthly fee goes up. She paid $3000 a month or so when she first moved in, but her bill was up to $9000 a month when she died. Because she had paid privately for three years though, she was allowed to stay there once she ran out of money and was then on Medicaid.
There really isn’t that much difference between moving into an assisted living facility as an independent person, and moving into a continuing care retirement community, in my opinion.
However, I know with 100% certainty, if she had been in a CCRC, they would have moved her to the nursing home level several years ago. While the assisted living facility did not have a nursing home level, so they just let her stay in her apartment with more help. That’s the drawback of moving to a place that has levels, they are quick to downgrade you when you start to need help. And the papers you sign when you move in give them the right to do so. I worked for 8 years at a very nice facility that had assisted living and attached nursing home. When ALF patients were in the skilled nursing part for rehab, we were often fighting for the ALF to take them back after their rehab was done. They just wanted the person to stay in the skilled nursing part if they required more care than before. This was especially true if they considered the person difficult in general. So make sure they like you if you’re in a CCRC, lol.
Continuing care requirement communities also often require huge fees upfront, while assisted living facilities do not.
That is very true about them liking you or wanting to get rid of you for the comfort of others.
Not all CCRC's require a up front buy in. Some have much higher monthly fees and you are there month to month etc etc. Makes it easier for you to leave and them to make you leave.
That is very true about them liking you or wanting to get rid of you for the comfort of others.
Not all CCRC's require a up front buy in. Some have much higher monthly fees and you are there month to month etc etc. Makes it easier for you to leave and them to make you leave.
Well, that would apply to all care facilities, including assisted living and nursing homes.
I've seen plenty of instances where they try to get rid of someone who is (in their opinion) a PITA (or a family member). In the nursing home, they wait till you get admitted to the hospital for something and then refuse to take them back. I've been in morning meetings where the Administrator, the DON and ADON are cheering because so and so was admitted to hospital and now they don't have to deal with PITA daughter anymore, for example.
Our facility actually called police to arrest a long term resident they feel is more trouble than he''s worth to try to get him out, but the thing they caught him doing is no longer illegal in NJ so the cops said "nothing we can do" and left.
My, this thread has become so interesting and informative! I am glad I asked the question!
Of COURSE I have money! I worked all my life. I have SS and a pension. Due to unforeseen circumstances due to my husband's illness and death, I life month to month now. I lost my house, so nothing in assets. I think I explained all that earlier. I also think that my answer to sperk's post kind of showed I knew what I was talking about. At least it did to me. N'est pas?
The woman who I am moving next to is one of those pitas. Every time I have been there she is causing some sort of disturbance. I heard she (her family) has been warned twice about her and a third warning is out. I kinda doubt that though. Lol, it's been a few days since I have been over there and I am very sure she has disturbed the peace many times again. Imo. I don't think they want to lose the income. I already know she will be one person people cheer to see gone when (if) that time comes.
I'm not even there yet and know of an employee that is not well liked also. She gave me a hard time and I mentioned it to the administrator and she said "I bet I know who it was." I said "heavy blonde." "Yep." was the answer. I will have to find out if someday, if she gives me another hard time, I can tell her fu. I doubt it.
I am moving into an ALF next month although I need very little, if any, care. I want to be where I can call for help if I happen to fall on the floor. Took me 2 hours to get back up onto my feet a few months ago. My housemates were of no use, they are older than me!!!
I chose one without all the bells and whistles, like a pool and gym. I have a pool now and in 5 years, I think I have gone in maybe a dozen times. It doesn't have a big communal dining room. Each floor has 4 "neighborhoods" each with their own dining room. They seat 10 people. I think it's great. I like my studio apartment. It's on the backside away from the traffic so it's quieter. I think my love bird and I will be happier. I am looking forward to this.
Attitude is key, when it comes to satisfaction, living in an ALF.
Hope you enjoy your stay.
One of the largest "adjustments" to living in an ALF is that it can be reminiscent of "Payton Place." (If you know what I mean...)
At least that's how the one I recently retired from is...
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I don't think they want to lose the income. I already know she will be one person people cheer to see gone when (if) that time comes. 
