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We moved 4 years ago.
We were thrilled to make friends with three couples (and one wonderful single!) in our neighborhood. We love to try out new restaurants, and we keep an eye on each others property vacations take us away.
We are all late 60s through late 70s.... so you CAN make friends later in life.
Was this a senior community?
As my husband and I moved to a new area and are not church members and are introverts, we have not made any couples friends -- or, really, any friends at all although we are friendly with all our neighbors.
I don’t know . We’re very happily married and together 47 years and currently have no couple friends. I read the article and yes the research has good points but I don’t need couple friends to see that my husband is great. We don’t crave or seem to have the need to make couple friends and seem to be happy just doing our own thing at the moment.
My guess that is probably the "norm". In our younger years, it always seemed that we didn't find a "matching" couple, so the husbands of my friends were not anyone that my husband cared for, and I didn't really care for the husbands either, so there was that.
I guess with others involved, it would help with a less solid relationship, as there would be the "distraction" provided by the friends.
I could not help but think that some may be happier due to "swinging". I was surprised to learn that was still a "thing". Yeah, we were not interested in that either, and was horrified to be scoped out a few years ago by a couple. Yeah, no!
Retired and not looking to be entertained or to entertain others.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katharsis
Was this a senior community?
As my husband and I moved to a new area and are not church members and are introverts, we have not made any couples friends -- or, really, any friends at all although we are friendly with all our neighbors.
yes... AK (after kids), couple encounters can be few, SIL is big into swing dancing (as are several introvert engineer friends), they do couples well and frequently.
Camping / boating, walking, biking, sea kayaking are good ways to group up.
Join a couple community volunteer groups.
That Community Garden up the road would be a good choice. The Garden Door. (I didn't realize it was Master Gardeners, but there are other community gardens not so far.)
Whoops, early registration for MG ended yesterday. (they wil probably take you if there are available slots) https://www.dcmga.org/
(MG can be a little intense (Training + first yr has 50 hrs volunteer time required, 25 hrs for subsequent years), but it is very interesting, nice people, great potlucks)
Senior service volunteering brought us some interesting and fun couples for many yrs. (We usually took them to Dr or hosted them for holidays, or did chores for them. https://www.adrcdoorcounty.org/
Last edited by StealthRabbit; 08-15-2023 at 06:32 PM..
A few recently divorced, and seeing each single struggle in the dating world has actually reinforced our commitment to each other. It's rough out there!
When a couple divorces, do you still see both of them?
As my husband and I moved to a new area and are not church members and are introverts, we have not made any couples friends -- or, really, any friends at all although we are friendly with all our neighbors.
We have a fairly active newcomers club for transplants. Lots of social activities and hence opportunities to make friends. Here's an example:
i remember thinking during the time we were married (12 years) that it was hard enough to find one person we enjoyed hanging out with, and nearly impossible to find two as a couple. what we did enjoy for several years during the marriage was a once a month "game night" where several couples got together and brought different board games to play, going to each other's houses. that was fun.
but just socializing as couples, nah that didn't happen. a few times when we were first married i remember meeting my new husband's friends and either they were creepy (seriously: one guy was on his third marriage and only in his 30s, first wife died second wife in a mental institution, third wife the one i met visibly afraid around the guy) or totally ignored me (i remember thinking i've never spent an entire evening with someone for 3 or 4 hours and been totally ignored by them). after we had kids we socialized with other couples that had kids the same age but that was just so the kids could play together. it didn't feel like we had much in common. the friends i've had as an adult that felt the closest, were friends i made on my own, not as part of a "couple."
A recent article is on making "couples friends" as adults. Research shows couples who have good couples friends have happier, healthier relationships with their own partners.
We don't have any "couples friends". Everyone we know is either HIS friend or MY friend. Of course, we are not married either, but we've been together nearly 14 years,
A recent article is on making "couples friends" as adults. Research shows couples who have good couples friends have happier, healthier relationships with their own partners.
What's your opinion on couples friends? ....
If it works for you......
The basic point to me is that I must disregard it for it works on the basis that there is someone for everyone and after decades of trying, I know that just isn't so. Hence, A and B.......
A: If it works for you........
B: Please keep in mind that for some it can't work and don't treat them, it, the world with this belief as a silver bullet because it isn't.
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