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There is a difference between "rural" and "remote."
Someone could live rurally 30-45 minutes outside of many mid-major cities. They still have reasonable access to the amenities of the city - better medical, better airports, higher end retail and restaurants, etc. - when needed.
I live in a city of about 30,000 people, but am about an hour and a half away from any metro area of consequence. There's a city bus service, but it only runs to a relative handful of stops during core business hours on weekdays. Some services, like rideshare or any kind of delivery beyond UPS/FedEx/Amazon, are spotty or unavailable. The medical care is very bad for an hour around in any direction. It's one of the reddest areas of a deep red state, so social services of any kind are very limited.
It's a really bad place to grow old in because everything is spread out, necessitating a lot of driving, and a lot of things that would make life easier that are common in more urban or suburban areas are often not available here due to limited demand, supply of workers, or because the area is low income.
I was talking about this with my girlfriend this weekend. My grandmother is 87 - she lives by herself, but my aunt is a few doors down. My grandmother can prepare her own meals, do laundry, but needs someone around for showering, doing anything remotely physical, because she's frail and a fall risk. My aunt works full-time. Grandmother stopped driving several years ago, so she's alone pretty much all week long, and doesn't go anywhere.
There are a good amount of senior programs in the city that she could enjoy IF she lived in the city limits. The local senior center has a deal worked with the city bus system where seniors can schedule rides in advance to these activities, but because she lives in the unincorporated county, that area is not serviced.
About a year ago, I subscribed to the Walmart+ delivery service where groceries get delivered to your home for free - you just tip the driver. The problem here is that there are not enough DoorDashers to get the orders to homes. I've ordered items on a Monday that then don't show up until Wednesday, for instance.
If you have medical problems, expect to go out of the area - at least an hour and a half - to find a competent specialist. If it's an emergency, you're at the mercy of the area hospitals that are mostly 1/5 star rated by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid with 12+ hour ED waits being common.
TN has gotten popular for retirees based on no state income tax, "low county taxes," and other financial factors. Very few people think about the practical aspects of daily living here vs. somewhere like Knoxville that is pretty much going to be "anywhere USA" in that regard.
Same for me. I like living in a city -- remote places are scary and creepy to me. Having grown up in a small town, I appreciate the anonymity of city life. I can go out and interact with people when it's convenient for me, and then return to the peace and solitude of my high-rise condominium. I'm very near to a major hospital, and easy walking distance to groceries and restaurants.
If we had decent public transportation and a more reasonable climate, this place would be darn near perfect.
There is a difference between "rural" and "remote."
Someone could live rurally 30-45 minutes outside of many mid-major cities. They still have reasonable access to the amenities of the city - better medical, better airports, higher end retail and restaurants, etc. - when needed.
I live in a city of about 30,000 people, but am about an hour and a half away from any metro area of consequence. There's a city bus service, but it only runs to a relative handful of stops during core business hours on weekdays. Some services, like rideshare or any kind of delivery beyond UPS/FedEx/Amazon, are spotty or unavailable. The medical care is very bad for an hour around in any direction. It's one of the reddest areas of a deep red state, so social services of any kind are very limited.
It's a really bad place to grow old in because everything is spread out, necessitating a lot of driving, and a lot of things that would make life easier that are common in more urban or suburban areas are often not available here due to limited demand, supply of workers, or because the area is low income.
I was talking about this with my girlfriend this weekend. My grandmother is 87 - she lives by herself, but my aunt is a few doors down. My grandmother can prepare her own meals, do laundry, but needs someone around for showering, doing anything remotely physical, because she's frail and a fall risk. My aunt works full-time. Grandmother stopped driving several years ago, so she's alone pretty much all week long, and doesn't go anywhere.
There are a good amount of senior programs in the city that she could enjoy IF she lived in the city limits. The local senior center has a deal worked with the city bus system where seniors can schedule rides in advance to these activities, but because she lives in the unincorporated county, that area is not serviced.
About a year ago, I subscribed to the Walmart+ delivery service where groceries get delivered to your home for free - you just tip the driver. The problem here is that there are not enough DoorDashers to get the orders to homes. I've ordered items on a Monday that then don't show up until Wednesday, for instance.
If you have medical problems, expect to go out of the area - at least an hour and a half - to find a competent specialist. If it's an emergency, you're at the mercy of the area hospitals that are mostly 1/5 star rated by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid with 12+ hour ED waits being common.
TN has gotten popular for retirees based on no state income tax, "low county taxes," and other financial factors. Very few people think about the practical aspects of daily living here vs. somewhere like Knoxville that is pretty much going to be "anywhere USA" in that regard.
Your grandmother sounds pretty capable still even if she is frail. Does she have a walk in shower with a shower seat and grab bars? Or is she trying to step into a slippery tub and can't manage that alone?
We're happy where we landed, on the edge of a small town in an older neighborhood. Single family home with almost an acre. Hospital and doctors offices are down the street and about all the shopping we need within 5 miles. Hoping we won't have to move again.
We're fifteen minutes from the big city but rarely need to go that way for anything.
As I continue my quest for our ideal retirement location, I feel like there's an important question that I can't seem to solidly answer. Do we want to live remotely or around others. It seems like a simple question, but there's so many factors and I can see pros and cons with both...
...What thoughts do you have or what experiences have you had with this?
Disclaimer, I have not read the entire thread yet.
I went through a similar thought process as you are now doing. Follows is what I ended up doing. I'm fairly satisfied with my decision, but have some minor concerns for the day when I can no longer drive myself.
After I settled on the area in which I wanted to live my retirement years, the decision was then where in this area to plant roots. This is the Coeur d'Alene area, which consists of three cities bumped up against each other, Post Falls, Hayden, and Coeur d'Alene. Total population of those three cities is somewhere around 120,000 people. Large enough to support a Costco and any other shopping one would want or need. There is also a pretty good hospital in Coeur d'Alene, which is a very important relocation factor as we age.
The town in which I live is about five-ten miles from "the circus", (i.e., PF, CdA, Hayden). Close enough to go back pretty much every day for shopping, church, medical appointments, etc. But far enough away to be outside the hustle and bustle. We do get our share of rush-hour traffic as two state highways intersect in town. Outside of rush hour, it is pretty calm and peaceful. Crime statistics show our city to be the safest city in Idaho with a population greater than 1,600, (there is a city of 1,600 in southern Idaho that is safer).
The next decision was what type of dwelling I wanted. The draw of a suburban house was very attractive, as that is what I lived in my whole life and most familiar. However, I knew that I would get to know my neighbors on either side of me and the one across the street. Not much more.
I opted for a house on a micro lot in a 55+ community. The reason being that I would have a built-in network of neighbors, for when I need them, and who I can help as needed. We have a pretty active clubhouse and associated activities, but I rarely participate because being in my early 70s, I'm still pretty active and would rather be in the nearby mountains, lakes, or rivers. I still go out and "do stuff". However, the day will eventually come when I'll start slowing down and at that time, will be participating in clubhouse activities more often.
My greatest concern is what happens when I can no longer safely drive. There is no public transportation out here. At least between my small town and "the circus". We have a pretty good off-road bike lane system and I'm expecting that with the march of technology, by that time, I'll be able to get an electric bicycle or tricycle that will get me around. When the weather is foul, (i.e., winter snow and ice), I'm expecting and hoping for help from my church family.
Other factors: There is a good regional airport with multiple daily flights to major airports about an hour drive away. An Apple Store in Spokane, (about 45-minutes away). A negative: the CdA area is a summer tourist destination, which brings its associated problems, (mostly increased traffic). The small lots in my 55+ community? Just big enough for personal gardens, but who at our age wants to keep up a large yard?
Bottom line: A small town within a few miles of a larger town with its shopping/medical is the best fit for me and my current lifestyle.
Your grandmother sounds pretty capable still even if she is frail. Does she have a walk in shower with a shower seat and grab bars? Or is she trying to step into a slippery tub and can't manage that alone?
She has the walk-in shower, but I'm not sure about the grab bars.
While she is "around others" in the sense that she has neighbors and a daughter a few doors down, it's "remote" in the sense that there isn't much in the way of senior services (or really, any services for that matter) that she can reasonably access.
A location or lifestyle that would be perfectly reasonable for a healthy 65-year-old retiree can be a completely different set of issues for someone in their 80s or who has health or mobility issues.
I'm not even counting general services that are hard to come by here. For instance, the airport is tiny. The only flights are to Atlanta, Dallas, Charlotte, and seasonal direct flights to certain parts of FL.
I split time between northeast TN and metro Asheville, NC. The northeast TN "service area" is actually probably more populated than the Asheville service area, but metro Asheville has a real airport that will get you to most east coast/Midwest common destinations. The grocery stores and restaurants are much better. The medical care, while not great, is better than here. It's much more affluent so it supports a better range of everything.
Asheville is within an hour of Greenville, SC for the international airport, Costco, and larger city functions. It's a little over two hours to Charlotte. Charlotte is the biggest major market from here, but is around 3.5 hours away. Nashville is over four.
For me, it's the day-to-day annoyances that I hate. I was making some shrimp tacos last week and go out to the huge grocery store to get some cilantro. I could see not having some unusual ethnic ingredient as it's a mostly white area, but cilantro? I run into things like that all the time that aren't issues in Asheville or the more affluent Midwestern areas I've lived in, but here, are tough to find or get done.
Same for me. I like living in a city -- remote places are scary and creepy to me. Having grown up in a small town, I appreciate the anonymity of city life. I can go out and interact with people when it's convenient for me, and then return to the peace and solitude of my high-rise condominium. I'm very near to a major hospital, and easy walking distance to groceries and restaurants.
If we had decent public transportation and a more reasonable climate, this place would be darn near perfect.
Looks like we have the same set-up. Yes on anonymity. High-rise is excellent on that. Fewer neighbors per floor (some you can even own the entire floor!).
My village is comprised of 250 towers but only 20 are residential -- the rest are business towers -- so outside of rush hours and lunch time M-F, it's very quiet, like a ghost town sometimes...having the town all by one's self (with some neighbors). That is why I bought a condo in that village in the Philippines.
I find the peace mixed with skyscrapers very charming. All within a mile walk.
Amazing how many people are outside (Makati, PI), yet wearing masks. Must have been filmed in 2020.
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