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Unfortunately, I am all too aware of the toll that dementia can take on a person as well as their loved ones. My dad had early onset and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
This sounds lovely, BUT... not all dementia patients are safe at home. Many may wander if they aren't locked in, getting lost and even freezing to death outside. Many are so forgetful that they could burn the house down accidentally. Some become argumentative and even violent with their family and caregivers. My dad was diagnosed and living at home with dementia. When his wife (my stepmom) was taking a shower, he wandered out and got lost in the woods. She called her son to help find him, and then after searching for a time, they had to get the sheriff's helicopter and dogs out into the woods to find him. After that they found a facility for him. He was almost to the point of not recognizing family anymore when it happened.
ITA living alone out in the woods is not a good option for someone with dementia, unless they won't mind being killed by wildlife when they wander off & get lost. Getting lost, even in familiar places is very common. Heck my dear father got lost in the home he had lived in for 40 years. Locked himself out too.
No. I was in my 20's, sharing an apartment with my boyfriend and working FT when it became necessary to place Dad in a locked dementia wing as he was physically strong and could be combative, we were all afraid that Mom could get hurt. I visited him regularly and spent time with Mom, offering her moral support. It was a nightmare. And it made an everlasting impression on me. By the time Dad went into that dementia wing he REALLY needed to be there. Unless you've ever been in one of those places you have no clue.
Last edited by springfieldva; 04-01-2024 at 12:22 PM..
ITA living alone out in the woods is not a good option for someone with dementia, unless they won't mind being killed by wildlife when they wander off & get lost. Getting lost, even in familiar places is very common. Heck my dear father got lost in the home he had lived in for 40 years. Locked himself out too.
Yes, it is not the safest option but I can live with that.
Just be aware that help for some veterans and their spouses have asset and income eligibility requirements.
When a relative looked into this several years ago, assets had to be under $90k in her state (not sure if that varies). The home and personal property like a car were not counted as
assets but savings obviously were.
That is something to investigate to get updated information. My relative’s spouse was in the service during WW2 for over 4 years but she was not eligible for any help at all.
Last edited by shamrock4; 04-01-2024 at 02:41 PM..
Yes, it is not the safest option, but I can live with that.
Of course, you can live with that. But can your spouse? Your spouse will have no support if you live out in the boonies when you begin to lose your ***t. It is why I asked whether you were a caregiver to your father. You would know your plan is unworkable. Assuming, of course, that you love your spouse.
My point is this: If you care one iota for your spouse, rethink your plan. Do what you need to do, but don't drag your spouse along for the ride.
ETA: On a professional level, I have visited locked down units. On a personal level, my siblings and I cared for my "demented" parent until my parent's "at home" death. I know more about dementia, especially, if caused by Alzheimer's Disease than the average physician.
I have had a plan in place for several years and have two wonderful health care practitioners who have supported my decision to end my life before I no longer have the ability to do so. I know that others are not so lucky. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
Of course, you can live with that. But can your spouse? Your spouse will have no support if you live out in the boonies when you begin to lose your ***t. It is why I asked whether you were a caregiver to your father. You would know your plan is unworkable. Assuming, of course, that you love your spouse.
My point is this: If you care one iota for your spouse, rethink your plan. Do what you need to do, but don't drag your spouse along for the ride.
ETA: On a professional level, I have visited locked down units. On a personal level, my siblings and I cared for my "demented" parent until my parent's "at home" death. I know more about dementia, especially, if caused by Alzheimer's Disease than the average physician.
I have had a plan in place for several years and have two wonderful health care practitioners who have supported my decision to end my life before I no longer have the ability to do so. I know that others are not so lucky. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
ITA. if I ever get that diagnosis I'm outta here. I also agree it is not fair to drag a spouse somewhere they may not want to be.
Of course, you can live with that. But can your spouse? Your spouse will have no support if you live out in the boonies when you begin to lose your ***t. It is why I asked whether you were a caregiver to your father. You would know your plan is unworkable. Assuming, of course, that you love your spouse.
My point is this: If you care one iota for your spouse, rethink your plan. Do what you need to do, but don't drag your spouse along for the ride.
ETA: On a professional level, I have visited locked down units. On a personal level, my siblings and I cared for my "demented" parent until my parent's "at home" death. I know more about dementia, especially, if caused by Alzheimer's Disease than the average physician.
I have had a plan in place for several years and have two wonderful health care practitioners who have supported my decision to end my life before I no longer have the ability to do so. I know that others are not so lucky. Trust me, I know what I am talking about.
My spouse would stay at our primary residence around his system of support which he will need more than I will need to have him around in my cabin in the woods.
Ideally, I will never develop dementia and we'll just use our little cabin as an occasional retreat away from it all. It will be there, however, if we NEED it to be there.
It's funny how in our society we stand back and watch people choose to be homeless and camp on our city streets and in our parks but the very idea of a person afflicted with dementia choosing to maintain their autonomy and live out their remaining time on earth in a quiet cabin in the woods is somehow inconceivable.
But, nope, my only options are supposed to be: 1) Make my husband's life a living hell as he tries to care for me at home 2) Go to a nursing home, leaving my husband in financial hardship 3) "check myself out" and leave this world.
I'll take option 4) Dodder around in my comfy, familiar cabin with my favorite foods, cozy bed, well stocked bar, happy pictures hanging on the walls and not a sole to answer to until the good Lord calls me home.
It's funny how in our society we stand back and watch people choose to be homeless and camp on our city streets and in our parks but the very idea of a person afflicted with dementia choosing to maintain their autonomy and live out their remaining time on earth in a quiet cabin in the woods is somehow inconceivable.
But, nope, my only options are supposed to be: 1) Make my husband's life a living hell as he tries to care for me at home 2) Go to a nursing home, leaving my husband in financial hardship 3) "check myself out" and leave this world.
I'll take option 4) Dodder around in my comfy, familiar cabin with my favorite foods, cozy bed, well stocked bar, happy pictures hanging on the walls and not a sole to answer to until the good Lord calls me home.
Well, one can dream!
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