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I would be in a cabin in the woods. Who is going to sell me a gun? A bear?
I hope and pray that I never get dementia, too. I also know that not all dementia is the same or progresses in the same way - I am in no way saying that my choice is right for all people. But we are assuming "severe" dementia in this thread. I've seen it and there is no good outcome for it no matter how safe you are, no matter how many people are doting on you. Prolonging that state is not in MY best interests or wishes.
There was a bigger point I had here and it wasn't about the likelihood of you actually obtaining a gun and killing someone.
There was a bigger point I had here and it wasn't about the likelihood of you actually obtaining a gun and killing someone.
But I get that you have your plan.
I understand that I can make grand plans today, set things up as I wish only to have dementia cloud my judgement and have me deciding things for myself that I wouldn't otherwise decide. But that could happen with any plan you make, no matter how careful you are.
The key, in my view, is to make your wishes known early and often and in writing. And proactively put things into place so that your wishes can be honored should that day come.
Luckily it is not about my wife or I but a family friend.
It is obvious to everyone who knows him the ladies husband is crashing mentally.
Over the past year it's gotten worse where he is starting to get very difficult to deal with.
The wife told a friend she is thinking of putting him in an assisted care facility but the monthly fee is staggering... the one I know about is $10,000 a month but it is a very good facility.
Financially how does a couple handle this if they don't have millions? The couple is well off in regards to owning a nice home without a mortgage and appear to do well in retirement, both are in their early 80's, but at $10,000 a month even a half million won't last forever.
Generally speaking how is this handled with medicare or medicaid? Are they required to sell the house and, if they do, where does the spouse live?
Oh, long term care insurance? I am not sure but if I had to guess they don't have any.
Has your friend considered a change in diet? It may not work for everyone, perhaps even most people, but it's worth a try.
Financially how does a couple handle this if they don't have millions? The couple is well off in regards to owning a nice home without a mortgage and appear to do well in retirement, both are in their early 80's, but at $10,000 a month even a half million won't last forever.
Are you concerned how YOU would handle this if this happened to you (or your wife if you're married)? Don't worry about other people. Get a plan together for yourself.
Are you concerned how YOU would handle this if this happened to you (or your wife if you're married)? Don't worry about other people. Get a plan together for yourself.
Exactly! Everybody's plan will be different based upon their age, marital status, health, income, assets, insurance, willingness to downsize or move, children or lack of children, desire to leave an inheritance, and myriad other variables.
There is more than one way to manage it, but some people only see things "their way" or have personal "deal-breakers" that make it difficult or impossible. If someone's main (or only) asset is their home, have no LTCi, and they are not willing to downsize or move to a cheaper area, then they may have some serious difficulty unless they have some serious income (unlikely if the home is their only asset). I find most people won't make tough choices until they HAVE to. Other people simply have no choices.
I am 59 and when I have my 6m Dr appointment in May I am asking for a cognitive assessment. I keep having trouble thinking of the word I want to say, I don't remember what I did last week. I'm still working full-time. And I want to be informed if my mental health is bad.
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Originally Posted by Lodestar 77
Think twice before being assessed. Do you really want to know? Are you prepared to know? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. My neighbor's doctor retired and she stayed on with the new, younger one. He tested her, without her permission as she didn't know she was being tested, according to her, and told her she had early onset dementia. She has been out of her mind with worry and concern ever since. Every word she forgets, she panics. Every little issue/noise at her home, she calls for service. Some things are just part of aging. If one begins to leave the stove on, wanders and/or gets lost driving, then maybe get tested.
What do you plan to do with the information if the results show you have early/beginning dementia?
There is medication that can slow the progress down for some. Donepezil (Aricept) is one.
But more importantly, you can make plans.
After I spent a whole day trying to think of the word, "wheelbarrow," I scheduled a cognitive assessment.
Though I was told that my cognitive functioning was normal for my age, I recognized from how I struggled with answers that would have been no problem several years ago, that things were changing.
So, I started making plans to deal with the cognitive changes.
For one, I need to write everything down. I send a text to myself. I keep a calendar. ...
Ordinarily, I wouldn't recommend a reverse mortgage, but in the case of a person late 70s to early 80s, with a spouse with dementia, or other LTC situation where home care is no longer possible, and limited funds, other than a paid-off (or almost paid-off) home, I would. The live-at-home spouse gets to continue living in the home until they die, they get a monthly payment which can be paid to the LTCF along with however much more is needed, and when the live-at-home spouse passes away, the bank gets the house.
Normally the fees and other issues with reverse mortgages make them usually not a great way to go, but in this case it beats spending down your life savings for medicaid, at least in my view.
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