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Old 09-05-2011, 11:27 AM
 
Location: san antonio texas
1,803 posts, read 2,624,035 times
Reputation: 623

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonny Chiba57 View Post
Hmmm..this person sounds like a real humdinger. I know if I was in a new neighborhood I'd at least wait a while before asking for favors. If someone offered me a favor I'd take it if I needed it but will surely offer to return the favor. This person needs to learn where the bus stops are so he can take the bus to the store and back. One would think the man has enough $$ to at least call a cab living in a house that expensive. Maybe the rest of the neighbors should make him a sign that reads, "Will work for favors". I had a similar experience with a moocher neighbor who even come to borrow toothpicks. I told her to pluck her broom. Something doesn't seem right about this new neighbor.
lol pluck her broom

my neighbor and i are buddy-buddy. he helps me, i help him. works out great that hes a nice guy and not a moocher. thought he might be, since the day he moved in he was asking me for computer advice, network setup help, auto help... but he lived up to his part and helped me when i asked him so good on him.

your guy doesnt sound like my guy though
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Old 09-05-2011, 11:52 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,875,485 times
Reputation: 28036
I have a neighbor who does things like that. She asks me to babysit her tribe for free, and asks for clothes and sheets and birthday cakes and dog food. She has a lot of kids and no mom skills at all...can't sew, can't cook, can't cut her kids' hair, can't do anything as far as I know except wander around asking for help. She sends her kids to my door with piles of clothes to be mended, figuring (incorrectly) that I won't say no to a kid.

What it really comes down to in my neighbor's case is that you can take the girl out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl. Her husband acts like a normal guy but he's working a lot to support the tribe of kids and I don't think he knows what she does when he's not there.

The only way to get rid of a moocher like that is to just say no. Just say "No, I can't do that." and if they ask why you can't, say "I'm sorry, it's just not possible." If you feel like being nice, say "I wish I could help you, but I really can't right now." (although that makes it sound like at some point in the future you are going to help him) You don't owe him your help and he's not going to ever pay back the favor.

A person who makes a huge habit of mooching off of everyone is used to being told no. It might feel really difficult for you to say it, but he's going to be used to hearing it. Don't feel guilty saying no. The fact that you posted here about it instead of just telling him where to stick it means that you're a nice person. You've already helped him enough. He will know that the favor well has dried up, and he'll go off in search of a new victim (oops, I mean friendly neighbor). Make sure the wife is on the same page...otherwise, he'll just (as it sounds like he's already doing) make a habit of asking her for everything, figuring she's too nice to say no, which will cause tension between you and the wife in the future...and yes, I'm speaking from experience here
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Old 09-05-2011, 11:56 AM
 
Location: San Antonio
4,422 posts, read 6,259,038 times
Reputation: 5429
There is nothing Christian about being an enabler and being abused. This guy is clearly taking advantage of you. I agree with the previous poster. Set the tone now. He paid $200K for the house? REALLY? Someone is squatting.
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Old 09-05-2011, 11:59 AM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,751,741 times
Reputation: 1945
You are not being rude...you are being WAY TOO NICE!

Learn to say No and I agree with all the other posters in here. Take their advice.
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Old 09-05-2011, 12:29 PM
 
2,046 posts, read 5,587,756 times
Reputation: 1218
Quote:
Originally Posted by plwhit View Post
Being taken advantage of would be an understatement in your case.

Tell him from now on you'll refuse to assist him, period.
Do not be too quick to refuse or to be rude, remember he is your neighbor. If you run into trouble he might just be there for you.

House on fire, emergency, people robbing your home etc...Neighbors are a good thing.
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Old 09-05-2011, 12:41 PM
 
299 posts, read 608,051 times
Reputation: 211
Yea, nip this right now. Otherwise it'll be way too late to correct it. I don't have this problem with any of my neighbors, but I've had it with a friend before. "Sorry man, I just don't have the time to help you out."
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Old 09-05-2011, 01:20 PM
 
117 posts, read 343,581 times
Reputation: 73
If it would help clear your conscience you could give him a bus schedule and map showing the closest pickup. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable allowing a man that I don't know ride in my car with me, you never know what a person's agenda is, it really is a bad idea these days.

I know that often times people are victimized because they don't want to offend someone who makes you uncomfortable. For example a scetchy person gets on an elevator with you and you don't want to offend them so instead of leaving the elevator and catching a more populated one you stay and are then victimized. Trust your gut and don't feel bad for offending anyone who makes you uncomfortable as this person clearly has. That's a bummer to have him next door.
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Old 09-05-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Pipe Creek, TX
2,793 posts, read 6,047,374 times
Reputation: 1603
Reminds me of the time the new neighbor lady came over in her robe and asked for a "cup of sugar". My girlfriend at the time was NOT amused.
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Old 09-05-2011, 02:48 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,875,485 times
Reputation: 28036
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingSAT View Post
Do not be too quick to refuse or to be rude, remember he is your neighbor. If you run into trouble he might just be there for you.

House on fire, emergency, people robbing your home etc...Neighbors are a good thing.
Not always. There are some people who will take everything you're willing to give them, but when it comes time for them to help you in return, they'll flat out tell you no.

I have neighbors who would help me if I had a problem like you're describing...although I pride myself on being able to take care of myself and my family...but that woman I was talking about in my earlier post, she would wait until the robbers left and then sneak in to see if they left anything she could use.
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Old 09-05-2011, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Kallison Ranch, San Antonio,TX.
1,671 posts, read 3,842,002 times
Reputation: 727
Quote:
Originally Posted by cddweller View Post
Are you sure he's not squatting in the home? Was the home he purchased a foreclosure?
A couple of months ago I saw the two of them looking at the home with a Salesperson. The home is brand new.
If I woulnd't have seen the two of them I would have thought he was squatting.

You ALL are correct in what I need to do. I shouldn't worry about the two of us being great neighbors since we already have a bunch of those.

Thanks to All of You.
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