Young, gay black man considering moving to the Bay Area (San Francisco: rent, house)

[Tommy_Gazelle]

Hi,
I am a young black gay man who is CONSIDERING relocating to the bay area. I know not to take what random people on the internet have to say at face value; however, where there is smoke there is fire.
Perhaps the Bay is no more racist than anywhere else in the states; but would someone like me have a place there?
I was actually there seven months ago. I resided with my ex for three weeks and he showed me all over the area. I visited (via BART, which I liked) San Francisco, Berkeley, and Fremont and enjoyed them immensely. I loved being pedestrian and the many outlets an activities. I almost wanted to move there immediately but, blah, blah, blah we broke up and I went back home. However, I've still had aspirations.
But now with the soaring prices and the exodus of the African American population I wonder would it be worth my time?
One important thing for me is having a sense of community where ever I live. I come from a very diverse upbringing but my home base has always been the black community.
Granted, given that I was there briefly, I have no racist horror stories (I had a great time). But, taking into account what has been proven, given that the general African American populace is so tiny I imagine the gay black community is even tinier. And many black gay men have said that there is no real black gay presence in the Castro (or in surrounding areas). I noticed that when I visited clubs in the Castro the black gay men there really gravitated to me, like they were really glad to see me. It was really nice but it made me wonder.
Granted, I've never selected my friends based on color but I don't want to be the token black person anywhere.
Also, seemingly small things such as the fact that I could not walk into a store and find a black hair care shop to buy my products or even find a local barber (cutting my own hair is not optional for me).
I am college educated (I recently graduated) but my major was not in a technical field.
While I loved the lifestyle aspects of the bay I keep wondering would there be a place for someone like me? Moreover, with African Americans leaving in scores would it be a wise decision to hedge my bets?
I would like replies that are just factual and not over-exaggerations.

[humboldtrat]

I think you're exaggerating about the exodus of Afro-Americans. Sure, many are leaving as well as whites and others for the same reason - the high cost of living in the Bay Area and are going to inland areas. I think you would enjoy San Francisco or Oakland if you can afford the high cost of living. Good luck!

[mayorhaggar]

Um, there are still parts of the Bay Area with a lot of black people. Oakland has a lot of parts that are mostly black, and otherwise they are spread around the Bay Area. Some black parts of Oakland aren't great and are segregated from other areas but other areas are middle class and diverse like the Temescal or the Dimond District which I would recommend you check out. As for gay stuff, I dunno, I'm not gay, but I used to live near the Castro and it always seemed like there were a fair number of black guys there.

It's true though that SF doesn't have many black residents and the areas they live in are pretty poor.

[calbeargrad2014]

I had to register for this website to respond to this and I must say: DO NOT MOVE HERE...or rather, move here! Help me! So I broke your rule about exaggerating but here are my reasons why I think you should consider other locations...

I am black gay and young (early twenties). I lived back east for a few years before returning to the bay area (been here for about a year now). If you are already concerned about the vitality of a black gay (possibly educated?) nucleus, then I can tell you will be frustrated once that pedestrian honeymoon has worn off!

- For a western us metro area, the Bay Area is pretty dense/walkable, but it's def not the model for walkability. BART is expensive, doesn't run very frequently and shuts down relatively early (midnight, even on weekends). And although you can get around, it still takes maybe an hour or more to get to places without a car (hopefully everything you need is in a core area). Due to this it is hard to feel like you are in an area that has a high population of African-Americans, especially when people drive/commute to social gatherings in several different locations across the bay.
- I was excited to move back to the bay area due to the plurality this place contains and has a history of protecting. Without getting too deep into the racial nuances, I will say this plurality in some ways seems to diminish the value of solidarity especially amongst african-americans. In other words, if you are uncomfortable being the 'token' black friend well you may have to adjust.
- Despite the celebrated diversity in the area, some people in the bay (NOT EVERYONE) still feel comfortable equating difference with abnormality. And others are just naive about social inequities for several reasons. Case in point, I was at a gay bar in the Castro and saw a white man (Irish?) wearing Blackface (complete with bandana, and baggy clothes). I was in complete shock. Where I was living back east, this individual wouldn't make it home dressed the way he was. Yet he easily walked through the crowd receiving laughs and even a kiss from a woman. My friends (white) asked me why I was so reserved that evening. I had a response but knew it would fall on deaf ears. And don't get me started about how you will feel like a fetish in these settings (I hear constantly "I love Black dick" as if it's some sort of 'go' button).

Sigh despite this I feel fortunate to live here and think its still a progressive place, but not as 'understanding' as everyone expects. Good luck to you, if I see you on the other side (lol, there's only so many of us) I'll buy you a drink!

[18Montclair]

Originally Posted by Tommy_Gazelle

Hi,
I know not to take what random people on the internet have to say at face value; however, where there is smoke there is fire.

This sounds exactly like something another forumer posted in another thread.

[jade408]

Well I can't think of a black gay community. There are gay communities. And black communities, but you are likely to be the "token gay black guy" in any circle you travel in, but your circle can still be really diverse.

[rainierman]

Gay black men I knew from school were scattered all around SF simply for sake of affordable rent or splitting a house with bunch of guys, hence lack of a visible gay black community. Consider Chicago, NYC & DC. Power by numbers. I presume most gay black men and women in major cities never left town and simply move closer downtown.

[goldenchild08]

Consider Chicago, NYC & DC.

I agree. San Francisco actually isn't as gay as everyone around America thinks it is. SF has always been the pioneer in fighting for Gay rights but the upscale Gay vibe that homosexual men are known for isn't as strong in SF as it is in other cities, especially in the Black population. Other than a handful of token Blacks in the Castro and a few tranny Crack heads in the Tenderloin, there aren't a whole lot of respectable and presentable Black Gay men in SF. I am a SF native and I live outside of DC. DC seems much gayer to me than SF, believe it or not. Being Gay in SF is more of a nominal political affiliation than an actual lifestyle. According to a recent study this year, SF is not even in top ten gayest big cities in America, but DC makes the list at number 8.

Atlanta loses 'Gayest City' crown to ... Minneapolis? | Atlanta News & Opinion Blog | Fresh Loaf | Creative Loafing Atlanta

Even straight Black guys who live in the hood in DC wear high fashion like Gay men. The upscale educated rich and upper-middle class Black population in DC is very accepting of Gay Black folks and homosexual, and by extension metrosexual, culture is normal. Unfortunately in SF, most young Black dudes are usually very poor and thugged out and live in the hood and distance themselves as far as possible from the Gay legacy that SF is so widely know for.

[Shelacious]

Hmmm. I actually thought Oakland had a fair number of black GLBT, but maybe I'm wrong. I certainly see a fair amount, and young black TG males are actually pretty "out."

[GirlAbout(Oak)Town]

I've never lived in San Francisco, but I would really recommend Oakland for the community you're looking for. It has it's own Pride now which really focuses on LGTB people of color. Oakland also has not one but two gay bars that cater specifically to LGTB people of color (Club 21 and Bench and Bar), although everyone is welcome, I'm a white woman and felt very at home at both of them. There's also the White Horse which is more of a pub than a club like the other two. A couple of different bars and clubs also have gay nights. Oakland is also home to a Black LGTB film festival, and while maybe not your particular up of tea, it also has a Pride march and festival for lesbians of color.

I doubt you'd feel tokenized here at all, honestly. The general sense of it is that the Castro is for affluent white gay men and Oakland is for...everyone else. And yeah, some neighborhoods are segregated but many are well-integrated and beautiful - Grand Lake, Adams Point, Temescal, Diamond, Downtown and Uptown are all places I'd recommend looking into. You get better weather, friendlier people, lower rents, and a beautiful city but are otherwise very close to the fun stuff in San Francisco.

Edited because apparently this forum sees the Q word as a slur? :/