Leaving SF/Oakland for LA?

[BayAreaHillbilly]

Originally Posted by mini_cute

Yeah, it is amazing how much things can change. I'm curious to know more about how your home metro has become alien to you. In what aspects?

There has been such an inrush of both international big money as well as the latest wave of techies, which is a bit different from earlier waves. Earlier waves came here to do silicon and hardware, analogous to the types of people who came to LA/OC to do aerospace. A great many of them were from less sexy states in the Midwest or from other Western states. The more recent wave are more oriented toward software, mobile, etc, and are not as salt-of-the-earth as the earlier waves. A lot more Ivy League folks and less of the types that went to Purdue or even various state schools. Just one man's observations.

[capoeira]

Originally Posted by mini_cute

Hmm.. the inconvenience of running errands sounds like it is due to the traffic. That is one of the main things that puts me off about LA. I am not sure if I can go back to sitting in the car so much in stop and go traffic. Not that the Bay Area doesn't have traffic, but if you live in an urban center, you don't need to take the car very often.

Santa Monica and westside LA is a traffic hell. How about Old Town Pasadena? It is walkable for daily errands. One can get to LA Chinatown in 20 minutes and to Little Tokyo in 25 minutes on the Gold Line subway. The Gold Line trains run every 6 minutes. This is much better than going anywhere on the Blue bus in Santa Monica. Pasadena is also a short drive to the great Asian food in Alhambra, Monterey Park and along Valley Blvd.

https://www.walkscore.com/score/e-co...adena-ca-91103

http://www.oldpasadena.org/

[mini_cute]

Originally Posted by capoeira

Santa Monica and westside LA is a traffic hell. How about Old Town Pasadena? It is walkable for daily errands. One can get to LA Chinatown in 20 minutes and to Little Tokyo in 25 minutes on the Gold Line subway. The Gold Line trains run every 6 minutes. This is much better than going anywhere on the Blue bus in Santa Monica. Pasadena is also a short drive to the great Asian food in Alhambra, Monterey Park and along Valley Blvd.

https://www.walkscore.com/score/e-co...adena-ca-91103

Old Pasadena: The Real Downtown

Yeah, maybe Pasadena could work. My husband is from Monterey Park/Rosemead and I am from other parts of the 626. If we have kids, maybe we'd feel we want to return to where we are from. The difference this time would be living in Pasadena proper, and having that Gold Line which I haven't yet experienced. I should try it one day!

[jade408]

My friend lived in Los Feliz, great neighborhood that feels like Temescal or Adams Point or Piedmont Ave. Definitely check it out, i think you'd love it!

PS: my friend doesn't drive and lived there car-free taking the bus. Her then boyfriend drove sometimes too, but she was self-sufficient. This was pre-tge subway/light rail boom. Here place was a short walk to a great commercial district.

[Fiona8484]

Originally Posted by mini_cute

Hi folks,

I've been on this forum for awhile now. During that time, I moved to SF, loved it, moved to Oakland, loved it too. But now this strange feeling has been creeping on me for a little while now. I've now been in SF/Oakland for 5 years and I am having a hard time feeling fulfilled in my social life.

I am married with a wonderful husband and we have great adventures together. Outside of my marriage though, it has been hard to feel a real connection with anyone for friendship. I've made a number of acquaintances but few I'd say are real friends. What I mean by friend is someone who would call you up just to ask how you have been and genuinely care. Someone who would remember your birthday. I don't have any of that here. I've come to realize that even if I go out of my way to remember and celebrate a friend's birthday, they will not necessarily do the same for me- none of them have. I feel a lot of my relationships are recreation and convenience based.

I am thinking it might be because of the stage that I am at in life being married and now in my early thirties. Everyone is just busy settling down and having kids. Also, no one has time to make friends anymore and they are having trouble keeping up with the friends they already have.

I go around and feel like I am very different from everyone in terms of the combination of my ethnic background, age, marital status, interests, economic status, etc. I've tried meet up groups and the like. While I embrace people of all kinds, and know people of all backgrounds, to have those true close friendships I think I'd need people more similar to me.

Oddly enough, I have more actual friends outside of the Bay Area. People who act like they really want a friendship and are happy to see or talk to me. Maybe it was because I made those friends when we were younger and they were more open to new friends.

So I feel this lack of connection even though I love the Bay Area. It is so beautiful here and the quality of life is amazing.

We are trying to start a family and I've been feeling this way for some time now. That I want relationships that are more real. I want strong ties and not weak ones.

So I'm starting to think what I thought I'd never do- think about moving back to LA where I am from. That is where all of our family is. I don't like the suburban sprawl, but we are think of living on the West side in Santa Monica where it is more urban and the weather is better. We still like urban living.

The idea of it makes sense to me. Have kids, move back to be near family. Hopefully make up for that feeling of a lack of connection in the Bay Area as well as having my kids be near family.

I can relate to some of what you wrote....

I also find that it is extremely difficult to make connections and friends here. People can be flakes, so after months of trying I am finally to the point of putting little effort in anymore. I didn't have that issue where I am from, it was easy to make friends/acquaintances. Back home, I was usually the planner but my friends were reliable 95% of the time.

I also want to point out that I am living in an area that is chock full of engineers and they are generally introverted/somewhat anti-social. I am not criticizing them in anyway, heck I am married to one. Is it possible that these men are married to women who aren't very social either? I know this is a generalization, but I am just throwing this out there as a possibility. I am going to guess my assumption might be correct in 75% of these marriages in THIS area.

We are looking into going to one of the 2nd tier tech cities that has more affordable housing. I know Texas has it's "issues" but I do believe people there are more friendly and outgoing. We are somewhat moderate politically, so I think we can handle living there. To be honest though, the main/biggest reason we are looking to leave is the housing affordability.

[dalparadise]

Originally Posted by mini_cute

Yeah, maybe Pasadena could work. My husband is from Monterey Park/Rosemead and I am from other parts of the 626. If we have kids, maybe we'd feel we want to return to where we are from. The difference this time would be living in Pasadena proper, and having that Gold Line which I haven't yet experienced. I should try it one day!

I've spent a bit of time in Pasadena for work (a few weeks at a time every year over three years). I think it's lovely and distinctly "old Southern California" in its character. It can be hot in the summertime, but there is a lot to like. It sort of feels like a smaller San Diego (without the coast) to me. That Gold Line is a great thing that makes Pasadena instantly more desirable than ever.