Why Doesn't SF Smile? (San Francisco, Oakland: living in, trendy, friendly)

[guy1]

One thing I am reluctant to mention (don't worry it's not that much of a biggie) is, I didn't have a good time during my last trip: a day trip.

Here's why: the people weren't friendly. Very simple. I spoke to a few people and they smiled. But it was a wan smile. As if, someone forced them to do it when they were having a bad day. As if their cat had just puked that morning, and they didn't know why.

Even people genuinely interested in talking to you (who would talk with you for an extended time) didn't smile.

It was like a grey cloud was hanging over their shoulder, when in fact the weather was quite nice.

California is just in a sour mood generally speaking. What's up with that?

[guy1]

I'll hold onto my own opinions for now. I'd like to hear from others.

[Oakland City]

I take it you've never been back east. I.E New York City

[xGrendelx]

I've found that when on the street, most people don't make an effort to put on a happy face or make small talk. The only time that's happened to me since living here was when I ran into an elderly man from Raleigh, NC while waiting for a bus. We talked for awhile about being from the North Carolina/Virginia area, and he even told me a bit about his family. It was nice for me because I'm used to people being that way on the street. Where I'm from, people will make eye contact and nod and smile when you pass them on the street. Not everyone, obviously, but it happens pretty regularly. However, when I've met someone one-on-one here in SF, 9 times out of 10 he or she was very pleasant and inviting. I think being on the street makes many folks become closed-off. They want to send signals that say "Don't talk to me." It was hard to get used to at first, but I find myself doing it now sometimes. And I'm not saying it's bad or good, just different than what I was used to.

[guy1]

Sure I have. Crazy energy. Crazy fun. People in SF are in a rush, but they're not happy.

Originally Posted by Oakland City

I take it you've never been back east. I.E New York City

[guy1]

Even when I see couples out, young couples, they are not smiling. This is very odd. Multitudes of attractive well-heeled twenty somethings living in one of the most exciting cities out on the town not smiling? For shame!

[Oakland City]

Originally Posted by guy1

Sure I have. Crazy energy. Crazy fun. People in SF are in a rush, but they're not happy.

I don't believe your post one bit. I think this is another attempt to bash the bay area.

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by Oakland City

I don't believe your post one bit. I think this is another attempt to bash the bay area.

Yeah but we should be used to that by now LOL

[clongirl]

I think it has a lot to do with the age...San Francisco is a very young city, where the majority of its population come to live from other places for a few years, and then leave.

There's just not much permanence and a feeling of wanting (or being able to afford) to settle down, raise a family, and grow old here. Many youngsters come to party, brag to their friends that they lived here then leave. The attitude is to be hip, cool (which means no smiling), trendy, and apparently very negative, snarky and morose, etc. and try to fit some stereotype that has been hoisted upon the City over the years by people from elsewhere. That's just my take on it.

It was definitely not like this when I was growing up. I think it started turning back during the whole dot.com days when people flocked to the region to make $$- most in their 20's and didn't really have to struggle to find a well paying job with little experience. This whole phenomenon seemed to give people an attitude.

There used to be such diversity with AGE, religion, culture, marital status and socioeconomic status. There was a lot more acceptance of all kinds of people.

BTW, a fantastic series to watch for anyone interested in the way I used to view the City is Armistead Maupin's "Tales of the City"...great fun!

[Mach50]

Originally Posted by Oakland City

I don't believe your post one bit. I think this is another attempt to bash the bay area.

Yes it is, people in SF smile 10x more than those in NYC (I lived there).
Also in NYC your more likely to get a good stare down for smiling at someone "too long" as well.

SF Bashing attempt gauge: .5/10.