How are the men in SJ? Are the stereotypes true?

[LCDNorCal]

I lived in San Jose CA from 2007-2012. I am female and was 25-29 at that time. It was one of the worst places I have ever lived. I have never experienced such blatant sexism for simply existing as a confident, intelligent, attractive female in my life. I had multiple encounters with men staring at me like I was nothing but an object, literally the most arrogant “beef heads” I have ever met. The women here are just as bad and I experienced sexism from them as well for being more attractive than them. They assumed I was stupid and couldn’t handle it when I proved them wrong. They internalize all the sexism in this place due to growing up there and some are just as bad as the men. I was an outsider looking in. I was very happy to graduate from SJSU and move to a place where I can be who I am without getting messed with. Not to mention the multiple bad attitudes I received from minority women who felt they had to compete with me because I’m white. The most boring place on earth. ALL there is to do is drink at bars. Not to mention the police here are corrupt and sexist af. Any time I wanted to go to SF where there is more to do these SJ people just wanted to stay in town. This place sucks beyond belief and my life has progressed 1000% since I got out of there. It’s like almost every man I met in my jobs there wanted to hold me down. They were flat out threatened by me that I didn’t “play the part” that so many young women there are conditioned to play. I saw right through it from the get go.

[LCDNorCal]

Originally Posted by joe stixpuck

San Jose has the Bay Area's largest sausage market. If a gal can't find a decent guy easily out there I'd wonder what might be wrong with her.

If there was another part of the Bay Area with such a skewed ratio of men/women, but in favor of males' prospects, I woulda been like the proverbial 'kid in a candy store.' In fact, if anyone here knows of ANY area with such a disproportionate population of women/men as SJ has of the reverse, let me know so my buds and I can plan our next fishing trip.

Such an abundance of men there and so few that actually know how to treat a women right. That’s why I chose to remain single the 4 years I lived there. Couldn’t meet a decent guy who didn’t treat me like a conquest. The few decent ones were too techy and boring. And there’s nothing wrong with me. But sadly you have that same arrogant attitude that many SJ guys have, that there must be something wrong with the women. The bottom line is there is something wrong with a lot of men that grow up or congregate here in their views of women and the way they treat women. I have options, theirs are limited. You think they would change their behavior.

[moguldreamer]

Originally Posted by LCDNorCal

I lived in San Jose CA from 2007-2012. I am female and was 25-29 at that time. It was one of the worst places I have ever lived. I have never experienced such blatant sexism for simply existing as a confident, intelligent, attractive female in my life. I had multiple encounters with men staring at me like I was nothing but an object, literally the most arrogant “beef heads” I have ever met.

I don't understand; you say that as if it were a bad thing.

[NORTY FLATZ]

Originally Posted by LCDNorCal

I lived in San Jose CA from 2007-2012. I am female and was 25-29 at that time. It was one of the worst places I have ever lived. I have never experienced such blatant sexism for simply existing as a confident, intelligent, attractive female in my life. I had multiple encounters with men staring at me like I was nothing but an object, literally the most arrogant “beef heads” I have ever met. The women here are just as bad and I experienced sexism from them as well for being more attractive than them. They assumed I was stupid and couldn’t handle it when I proved them wrong. They internalize all the sexism in this place due to growing up there and some are just as bad as the men. I was an outsider looking in. I was very happy to graduate from SJSU and move to a place where I can be who I am without getting messed with. Not to mention the multiple bad attitudes I received from minority women who felt they had to compete with me because I’m white. The most boring place on earth. ALL there is to do is drink at bars. Not to mention the police here are corrupt and sexist af. Any time I wanted to go to SF where there is more to do these SJ people just wanted to stay in town. This place sucks beyond belief and my life has progressed 1000% since I got out of there. It’s like almost every man I met in my jobs there wanted to hold me down. They were flat out threatened by me that I didn’t “play the part” that so many young women there are conditioned to play. I saw right through it from the get go.

Welcome to the site.

[kdog]

Originally Posted by LCDNorCal

I lived in San Jose CA from 2007-2012. I am female and was 25-29 at that time. It was one of the worst places I have ever lived. I have never experienced such blatant sexism for simply existing as a confident, intelligent, attractive female in my life. I had multiple encounters with men staring at me like I was nothing but an object, literally the most arrogant “beef heads” I have ever met. The women here are just as bad and I experienced sexism from them as well for being more attractive than them. They assumed I was stupid and couldn’t handle it when I proved them wrong. They internalize all the sexism in this place due to growing up there and some are just as bad as the men. I was an outsider looking in. I was very happy to graduate from SJSU and move to a place where I can be who I am without getting messed with. Not to mention the multiple bad attitudes I received from minority women who felt they had to compete with me because I’m white. The most boring place on earth. ALL there is to do is drink at bars. Not to mention the police here are corrupt and sexist af. Any time I wanted to go to SF where there is more to do these SJ people just wanted to stay in town. This place sucks beyond belief and my life has progressed 1000% since I got out of there. It’s like almost every man I met in my jobs there wanted to hold me down. They were flat out threatened by me that I didn’t “play the part” that so many young women there are conditioned to play. I saw right through it from the get go.

What is it that you like to do now that you couldn't do in San Jose?

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by LCDNorCal

Such an abundance of men there and so few that actually know how to treat a women right. [...] You think they would change their behavior.

That describes Seattle, as well. And it's not even about "how to treat a woman right", but about very basic things, like having a conversation with women without inadvertently insulting them. Being socially clueless, clueless as to the implications of the things they blurt out.

Yes, you'd think they'd change their behavior, but in order to do that, they'd have to understand what they're doing wrong. I can't help wondering where their male role models were, when they were growing up. Apparently many parents don't talk to their sons about socializing with women.

What is it that you like to do now that you couldn't do in San Jose?

The OP gives us a clue, when she said she used to go to SF for things to do. Think of everything SF has to offer. Go on, try; you can think of a few things, I'm sure. The city has many interesting attractions. So do Berkeley and Oakland, but SF--even more so.

[Heidi60]

Maybe just cultural differences?