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Well things are looking up a bit. They haven't kicked kicked him out yet and no really they don't mind him staying even though there are 4 kids and 2 other adults in a 2br place. So yeah it is really crowded. They live in a place owned by the father in law and he is the one that said there were too many people there.
He still wants to go to Cali and has been making plans to do it. Since he can't take much with him, he has managed to sell enough to get a cheap plane ticket there. It was cheaper than the greyhound. Enough for a month bus pass, a month at a hostel and a cheap month prepaid cell phone. He has been talking to a few places about some jobs and will likely have a dishwashing job when he gets there. He'll have food stamps for food.
That all sounds very positive. I hope everything works out for him. I know it must be hard for you as mom because you are unable to go to him to help him. I have two boys and while I am a big believer in raising kids so that they know how to take care of themselves and stand on their own two feet, when you mentioned mental issues/TBI when you have a child dealing with something like that and/or addiction issues (alcohol) as a parent regardless of the age of our child it is our duty to assist if we can, and out of love we often want to whether or not it is even necessary.
Anyway - I hope he makes it to Cali safely and secures a job, etc. Best wishes!
My family has it's fair share of druggies and alcoholics to.
Yes, there is a lot to be said for tough love... It's just a shame that so many mothers have a difficult time with that concept, and yes I do mainly mean mothers. Their judgement seems to be clouded. They don't seem to understand that pandering to them is just another form of enabling them.
No offense to mothers, but's that's my experience. Personally, I absolutely detest addicts, whether it be drugs or alcohol. My father died when I was 8 years old from drinking himself to death. His brother currently struggles with the same problem, although he tries and he fairs a bit better with it. I had a cousin who died of a drug over dose. I had another cousin who was a prostitute and a druggy.
It's just weak mindedness is what it is. It's a disease. I'll never understand it. I have vowed that I will never live with, put up with, or have another alcoholic or druggy in my life ever again. If I do ever have kids and they'd have this problem, I'd boot'em to the curb, and if the mother didn't like it, she could go with them.
I know I sound bitter and calous, and I am. The point I'm trying to make is, there isn't anything YOU can do to help someone with this sickness, they have to do it. There is no hope, so don't even try. Take it from someone who knows, it'll save you a lot of time and heartache. The best thing you can do is exile them from your life and move on, enjoy your life and hope they find it within themselves to better their lives.
Well, that's why one should pick a public university in one's own state. It doesn't matter that much about where you go to undergrad school anyways. Also some community colleges guarantee admission to a state school ...... depending on the state.
Hopefully some day college level education will be available to anyone for free, if need be.
I have a son early 20s who is about to be homeless. He was victim of violence last year (held hostage at gunpoint) and lost nearly everything because of it. He was staying with a relative but they are having hard times and they asked him to leave. I am barely making ends meet and can't afford to send him a ticket here as I live overseas.
I think he could find a job if he went to a city as right now he is in a very rural town, think population of 3000 people where there is no work and he has no car.
What cities would be good to find a job if you were homeless? He can do restaurant work, cleaning, basic office work, care taking of sick or elderly.
Do you think he should make a will work for food sign to try to get some money and a job? Is it even legal to do that these days? Are there resources to help people get on their feet like housing, food, etc.?
I tell you what, at the nursing home facility I worked at I was in DESPARATE NEED of good, reliable employees that had good availability, good attitude, etc.. If someone put an application in and did a follow up call to me personally demonstrating a desire to work, I looked into it pretty good. Even if the person didn't even have any previous food service training, if they demonstrated a desire to work and to perform well they would get a chance if they'd be okay with coming on initially as a per-diem worker.
We in Dietary at times ran short-staffed due to the pathetic at times work ethic of today's youth. The trend also went over to Housekeeping..
So here's an idea.. tell your son to get cleaned up and apply to every nursing home in the area with a resume, cover letter, and application. Have him focus on his experience working in foodservice, and he can even explain his situation a bit.. have him let the facility know that he would be willing to cross-train in both dietary and housekeeping as well as for a cook position (it's hard to get reliable good relief cooks in those facilities).. after he drops off the application, have him call the facility and have them direct him to the Food Service Director.. Have him speak to the food service director directly over the phone.. no messages if this is possible.
I would be amazed if after showing some real initiative like this if your son would not get some type of per-diem position if nothing else (helping to fill in for call offs, vacations, etc.) .. this could QUICKLY turn into a FULL-TIME JOB with benefits if he would stick it out demonstrating his value due to the turnover in those places..
So just a suggestion. Showing good initiative and a good attitude go a LONG way..
I tell you what, at the nursing home facility I worked at I was in DESPARATE NEED of good, reliable employees that had good availability, good attitude, etc.. If someone put an application in and did a follow up call to me personally demonstrating a desire to work, I looked into it pretty good. Even if the person didn't even have any previous food service training, if they demonstrated a desire to work and to perform well they would get a chance if they'd be okay with coming on initially as a per-diem worker.
We in Dietary at times ran short-staffed due to the pathetic at times work ethic of today's youth. The trend also went over to Housekeeping..
So here's an idea.. tell your son to get cleaned up and apply to every nursing home in the area with a resume, cover letter, and application. Have him focus on his experience working in foodservice, and he can even explain his situation a bit.. have him let the facility know that he would be willing to cross-train in both dietary and housekeeping as well as for a cook position (it's hard to get reliable good relief cooks in those facilities).. after he drops off the application, have him call the facility and have them direct him to the Food Service Director.. Have him speak to the food service director directly over the phone.. no messages if this is possible.
I would be amazed if after showing some real initiative like this if your son would not get some type of per-diem position if nothing else (helping to fill in for call offs, vacations, etc.) .. this could QUICKLY turn into a FULL-TIME JOB with benefits if he would stick it out demonstrating his value due to the turnover in those places..
So just a suggestion. Showing good initiative and a good attitude go a LONG way..
This is really good advice. Thank you.
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