Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I get what you are trying to say, your proclaiming that because Canada is a multicultural nation accepting different people from different countries; is explaining the main reason why people can be cold and selfish here because nobody here recognizes the contrast between them and another persons culture, so this is where the coldness is derived from by the behaviour that people possess here, Toronto claims to be the most multi-cultural city in the world which is true but it is probably the most somber and lack-lusting multi-ethnic city there ever is compared to cities like New York where there are way more better multi-cultural communities In NYC with a better welcoming and warm friendlier feeling amidst the people than it is here in Toronto where you have people who stick to their own people and their own culture and are not really interested in fitting in with other people's culture.
If you read anything on the NYC forum regarding dating it sounds just about similar to Toronto or most other major North American cities.
I get what you are trying to say, your proclaiming that because Canada is a multicultural nation accepting different people from different countries; is explaining the main reason why people can be cold and selfish here because nobody here recognizes the contrast between them and another persons culture, so this is where the coldness is derived from by the behaviour that people possess here, Toronto claims to be the most multi-cultural city in the world which is true but it is probably the most somber and lack-lusting multi-ethnic city there ever is compared to cities like New York where there are way more better multi-cultural communities In NYC with a better welcoming and warm friendlier feeling amidst the people than it is here in Toronto where you have people who stick to their own people and their own culture and are not really interested in fitting in with other people's culture.
Hmm... this isn't quite what I was saying. Although I agree with some of the things you said in the beginning but I don't think NYC is any friendlier. People there are more blunt, that's pretty much the main difference.
That may be your experience. I have immigrant friends here over 10 years that like it a lot and fit in great here. Not everyone is going to "gel" with any place. That's the case for every place, though.
Of my two closest immigrant friends who have stayed here the longest, they have taken opposite approaches. The first, I was her first Canadian friend when she moved here from Romania, and although she loved it, she really loved it once she found her "tribe" of fellow Romanians to hang out with. Now there's a big group of them.
The other, my bestie, her, her brother and sister all completely integrated into Canadian culture and you wouldn't know they're immigrants unless they volunteered this information (they're from the Middle East). So her younger sister married a Canadian (born and bred), her younger brother is still in school studying to be a doctor and he also plays guitar, and she herself is the most well-connected person I know. She makes friends literally everywhere she goes. It helps that she looks like Princess Jasmine, though.
So I guess I suspect that you either need to find your own "tribe" of people from your home country, start hanging around coworkers outside of work, or else go to the bars where Canadians hang out and enmesh yourself with them. Friends and an active social life don't just happen to people, you have to do a little bit of legwork.
Rockstar21, In a way... I totally agree with you and I think torontocheeka doesn't get what you're trying to say. HOWEVER, I do understand what she is trying to tell you. You're being too extreme about it. Like she said, try to find your "tribe" I am Israeli. Hung out with 90% Israelis until I got more accustomed to Toronto life and culture and was more comfortable in my own skin. Different doesn't mean worse. I DO miss being out late in coffee shops and club and not have businesses close their doors at 6pm-9pm... In Downtown Toronto they close a little later but in Israel everything is open, almost all the time. BUT... There are so many different things you can do here and you need to find the positives and not just the negatives. Middle Easterns and Europeans will definitely understand what you are trying to say but I still think you're seeing the empty half of the glass. Yes, Toronto could have been more interesting given its size and reputation... But I believe Toronto is famous for being great at everything, some things just above average and some things we are best at... They don't invest in nightlife like they do in Europe and in the Middle East but there are other positives which make life in Toronto very good. That is why it's so popular. It is a very well balanced city. I can talk all day about how cold people are in Toronto but truth is, if you get into the right group. You will find your partner. Girls/Women in Toronto want to see a successful man. Someone who has a future, Toronto is GO GO GO. That will help you push yourself as well, to have a better future. Sometimes easy going girls can have you stuck in one spot and you won't be determined to get better. I know what I say may sound silly, I don't have much time to write this post so I am just spitting the words as fast as I can but I hope you all understand what I am getting at.
You are in a different league now. To get the same results, you have to work harder. It feels stupid at times and unnecessary but if you think about it, it makes sense.
Toronto is an extremely unfriendly (not to be confused with polite) city, and the women here are unusually unapproachable, and men have simply adjusted to this. This has to be why men here are, generally speaking, so relatively timid.
If meeting someone was so easy then what would be the point. Maybe if the road to meeting someone special is a little harder you might appreciate the woman who does connect with you a lot better when you meet her. Too many men in this city just expect women to be gushing at their feet, but don't appear to actually want one woman. I don't get why anyone man or woman would just walk around expecting everyone they approach to want to flirt or date them? Last time I checked most people in this city had a lot more going on then just trying to meet someone to date.
If meeting someone was so easy then what would be the point. Maybe if the road to meeting someone special is a little harder you might appreciate the woman who does connect with you a lot better when you meet her. Too many men in this city just expect women to be gushing at their feet, but don't appear to actually want one woman. I don't get why anyone man or woman would just walk around expecting everyone they approach to want to flirt or date them? Last time I checked most people in this city had a lot more going on then just trying to meet someone to date.
Yeah it's a very strange city, men and women are reserved and cliquey in the same cliques of men only and women only, from my experiences here, fitting into social groups is hard no matter how friendly you act and try to be, it never works here, I can't stay lonely for the rest pf my life so i am thinking about moving. Women wont allow you into there all women's group, so that is one thing that i find weird about Toronto at the fact that we are accustomed to thinking this is the way it is and always has been even though it is false. You have to travel and see how easier it is to meet new people.
Yeah it's a very strange city, men and women are reserved and cliquey in the same cliques of men only and women only, from my experiences here, fitting into social groups is hard no matter how friendly you act and try to be, it never works here, I can't stay lonely for the rest pf my life so i am thinking about moving. Women wont allow you into there all women's group, so that is one thing that i find weird about Toronto at the fact that we are accustomed to thinking this is the way it is and always has been even though it is false. You have to travel and see how easier it is to meet new people.
Just talk to people already. Bring a wing man and just start talking to people. They brush you off then try talking to some other people. I am not sure what the big deal is? Someone is going to eventually going to talk with you and you will make a connection. Just have fun with it. If everything came so easy there would be no point to doing anything. Dare to be different ... talkative and social and others will eventually come around. Be someone to spark change.
Just talk to people already. Bring a wing man and just start talking to people. They brush you off then try talking to some other people. I am not sure what the big deal is? Someone is going to eventually going to talk with you and you will make a connection. Just have fun with it. If everything came so easy there would be no point to doing anything. Dare to be different ... talkative and social and others will eventually come around. Be someone to spark change.
This thread's still going strong, eh? Amazing.
It's not that simple...for a man. You're a woman so other woman won't have much of a problem with any attempts you make at shooting the breeze with them. Men will like it too if you strike up a conversation with them since we rather like talking to women..heck, we like women, full stop.
But a man is regarded with suspicion here right off the bat, especially by women who don't know him as a friend of one of their girlfriends. Men generally hang together when there's some kind of shared objective or project to achieve, or when they share an interest in a hobby, otherwise it's regarded as kind 'quirky' to want to spend too much time together. Men are action-oriented. We don't sit around in a coffee shop and share our 'feelings'...lol. That's why, for most guys, the general social atmosphere makes a big difference on how successfully he integrates into any given social milieu. And T.O. has a pretty awful social atmosphere; cliquey, avuncular, judgemental, and just damn cold. For a guy, that is. Women can't relate and probably don't care all that much since it doesn't affect them.
Just talk to people already. Bring a wing man and just start talking to people. They brush you off then try talking to some other people. I am not sure what the big deal is? Someone is going to eventually going to talk with you and you will make a connection. Just have fun with it. If everything came so easy there would be no point to doing anything. Dare to be different ... talkative and social and others will eventually come around. Be someone to spark change.
I dont normally have trouble making friends, but with females it is tough here in Toronto to approach them since Toronto is a very conservative society and non-sexually liberated as it seems since feminism is like a pedestal here, most women give you dirty looks here and are absolutely not willing to have any men in their social-circle since they are somewhat deemed as suspicious and creepy by most of the women that I have encountered with, it seems like a very politically correct city with hidden bylaws that prevent men from interacting with women, I do however think some guys here are a bit cold and selfish too since they look busy.
Most women i see outside look suspicious when they look at you as if you are going to sexually -assault or harass them, women obviously wouldn't like it if you cat call them in any other city but here in Toronto it is a big deal, So no it isnt a great place for dating but otherwise the city is polite but not friendly.
Rockstar21 and lookyhere there is no universal society for women in this city to determine how to act in any given situation. Every person if different. I obviously don't know you or the type of women you are attracted to, but as a woman I got to wonder is it the type of women you appear attracted too that are like this versus women in general in this city. Yes like any other city or place in the world there are pockets of self absorbed arrogant rude people that might look nice on the outside, but have horrible personalities. It is really hard to believe that the fault always lies in everyone else. Are your expectations realistic?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just talk to people already ...
...lol. That's why, for most guys, the general social atmosphere makes a big difference on how successfully he integrates into any given social milieu. And T.O. has a pretty awful social atmosphere; cliquey, avuncular, judgemental, and just damn cold. For a guy, that is. Women can't relate and probably don't care all that much since it doesn't affect them.