The things meat-eaters say to/about you. (dinner, food, italian)

[Adrian71]

First off, a huge THANK YOU to whoever started this subforum. It's great to have our own place to hang out now.

I thought I'd give my fellow vegans and vegetarians an opportunity with this particular thread for to blow off some steam. I don't want anyone to bash meat-eaters, but I know all of us have reached that point of frustration with people who don't or won't understand our dietary choices. Now you are among friends!

For the record, I'm not a militant vegetarian. People have to live their lives the way they see fit, IMO. I sometimes just wish they'd show me as much tolerance and respect as I do to them.

So anyway, here's mine:

1. "How do you get enough protein?" It has to be the most prevalent myth that vegetarians and vegans don't get enough protein. Frankly, I blame the meat industry for putting it in people's heads that meat (and only meat)=protein. ALL FOODS HAVE PROTEIN, and many studies show that most people get TOO MUCH protein. When you get too much, your body pushes it out, and it leaches calcium along with it. It's no wonder so many people suffer from osteoporosis ...

2. "Do you eat fish/chicken/pork?" Last I checked, fish is not a vegetable.

3. "You can just eat a salad." My wife gets this one all the time, from the people she works with. Whenever they have a company outing, the organizers invariably will pick a place with few or no vegetarian options on the menu, and this is the reply my wife gets from the organizers. So while they can have their pick of food and eat a big, full meal, she can "have a salad" -- and that's supposed to be OK. As I told her, just imagine if they were having a pig roast and they told a Jewish person, "You can just eat a salad." The Jewish person would be rightfully outraged at the insensitivity. But because she's a vegetarian, it seems to be OK for them to say something like this.

Anyone else have stories to share?

[heather21365]

Oh, I love this thread. Being from the South, it gets especially interesting.

1. But those are green beans! (or corn/black-eyed peas/greens, etc) -- well, yes, they are, but do you see those pieces of ham floating around in there? I don't eat those, which leads me to...

2. They're big pieces. You can just pick around them. -- I don't have a sassy response for this, only to explain that I just am not comfortable eating something cooked in meat. I try to be as polite about it as I can, and thankfully that doesn't come up too much. But here's what does...

3. You're a vegetarian? That's cool. So you still eat fish, right? -- Now, this I blame less on the person asking and more on the people that call themselves vegetarian but openly and proudly eat fish. If you DO eat fish, I am not judging you. Seafood and sushi were the hardest things for me to stop eating, by far. Just please, for the sake of the rest of us, don't call yourself a vegetarian. Calling yourself a vegetarian then chowing down on some salmon creates awkward moments for those of us who don't eat fish and are proudly presented with a special seafood "vegetarian" dish at a dinner party.

I'm sure I have more, give me time to think of them.

[crazyme4878]

There was a great essay in Vegetarian Times this past winter about having dinner at other people's houses. It was so funny! One antidote was going to someone's house and the hostess proudly proclaiming "Andrew is vegetarian so I bought shrimp!" Another was being met at the door by the hostess shoving a bowl full of shell-on nuts and a recipe for nutloaf that she expected the vegetarian to make! Turns out that there were enough vegetarian side dishes already, so the guest was okay. But the hostess kept complaining about what she was going to do with all the nuts!

[katzenfreund]

Ha, you nailed it.
The chicken/fish question is due to a lot of people claiming they are vegetarians and then you find out they eat chicken or fish or both. I get this question all the time or people comment "but you eat seafood, don't you? " NOPE.

We used to go to a family gathering every summer and people would say, you can eat the potato salad, I just put a little bacon it it. ! If we went out with family they always wanted to go to places that serve only meat, and literally the only thing they would have on the menu without it would be meat. So we pretty much stopped going, after trying to get them go to places that had a more diverse menu.

Destination Seattle, I see you currently live in DC. We moved from the DC Metro area to New England and while I love it here, I REALLY miss all the wonderful vegetarian food we used to get in restaurants in DC and the surrounding towns.... . I especially miss Java Green, sigh. Their brunch is the best!!!

[JJingle]

I couldn't help but post here....

Upon hearing that I was a vegan, my coworker asked "So where do you get your dairy?" Hmmm...since when is dairy a food group?

[Jammie]

Just have to say that I love this thread.

Destination, that was a funny post.

I have no specific stories, but I have been interrogated mainly by relatives who want me to eat meat and want me to buy it and cook it. Why else would it bother someone else whether I eat it or not? Actually, I've been cornered by them and made to feel extremely uncomfortable. It's happened with various relatives and I really got tired of having to defend myself and explain myself~REPEATEDLY!!!

When I was getting ready to go into the hospital for surgery, the dietician called and kept asking me what she should make for me. She said she'd go out shopping especially for me. I told her that I'm having surgery and will only be there 24 hours and probably won't eat at all. I said that if I get hungry, she can just hand me a bowl of potatoes or something. I thought she was sweet, but she really made kind of a big deal out of it and of course, the "What I'm wondering is how you get your protein". So I was especially thankful to read that first post and the reference to that same question.

My most recent visit with my Dr. was a catastrophe. He obviously doesn't approve of vegetarians and insisted that he will be making an appointment for me to see a dietician. It wasn't a good visit all the way around and I ended up walking out. It's kind of a bummer cause he was my Dr. for many years, but I just couldn't take the insanity of that day.

Then there was this old guy we were sitting with one time and he really put me in my place for not eating meat. He said he's got a niece who "has that stupid idea, too". Then he proceeded to tell me that you can't live without it and she just looks "sick". I was so thankful when someone else (who isn't vegetarian) popped up and let him know that we are generally healthier then if we did eat it.

Oh yea, I just know I'll remember more later, too.

[Global Friend]

1. What don't you eat chicken, it's not meat?
2. Why don't you eat meat? For how long?
3. Protein question.
4. If I ask what a party might have, you can eat salad is the answer.
5. If there is meat cut up in something, I'm told I can just pick it out, yuck!

[crazyme4878]

I had a nice little back and forth with the grocery cashier one day over tuna. I was receiving WIC, which includes tuna if you are breastfeeding. I usually got it and gave it to my neighbors, but one day I forgot and I was already in line, so why bother? Well, the cashier mentioned I didn't get it, I told her I was vegetarian anyhow, so it doesn't matter. Straight face, she said, "But its fish." Yeah, I told her, and meat is fish. We went back and forth a little. I think a lot of confusion comes from Lental practices--Catholics are not suppose to eat red-meat, but fish is okay. So I think people think meat means red meat. I pointed this out to the cashier, but I don't think she believed me.

Jammie--that is horrible. I'm always scared at finding a new doctor because I'm afraid I will get one of the few that believe vegetarianism is unhealthy. Luckily, for both my pregnancies I had very supportive doctors who didn't think twice about it. One doctor was a vegetarian herself, along with her husband and two sons. She gave me a lot of great advice--too bad I only had her for 3 mo. before we moved cross-country.

[Xpat]

These stories all sound pretty familiar except for Jammie's story about the doc and dietician- unbelievable that they have not kept up with their continuiing education and know how beneficial a balanced vegetarian diet can be.

My omni wife and I live far away from family so its seldom and issue but when attending social events, etc I just eat before I go - its much easier. The only exception is if its a local restaurant where we're having a big Italian meal. Then I'll just load up on the wonderful veg antipasti then claim I'm too full to eat any more (a common rookie mistake). I prefer not to have all those conversations about what I eat and why - it just gets boring.

[Adrian71]

Originally Posted by crazyme4878

I think a lot of confusion comes from Lental practices--Catholics are not suppose to eat red-meat, but fish is okay. So I think people think meat means red meat. I pointed this out to the cashier, but I don't think she believed me.

Yep. I went through that with my parents when I went veg. We were a Catholic family, and so they had it in their minds that they went "without meat" on Fridays during Lent, so fish was somehow not meat. I tried clarifying by using the line "I don't eat anything with a face" on my mom, but then she figured that meant it was OK to eat clam chowder. *sigh*

It really is no wonder people get confused. Even in the most respected media outlets, people say things like "meat, fish, and poultry." Whaaaa??? So fish and chicken aren't meat? What are they, plants? Where in the world does this idea come from?