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I got married at a city hall and our witness is someone from their office. We didn't even know her name.
Neither of our parents or siblings could make it so it was just the two of us. If I had to go back in time, I'd do it exactly the same way all over again...except we'd try to arrive earlier so we wouldn't be not running to the court, haha. I also wish it wasn't gloomy so we could have done it outside, but no biggie. I love how it was just the two of us and I didn't have to considering about other people in any way.
Our cost was the licence, certificate, $10 photo and a frame and $18 for the witness to be in the same room as us lol.
We're both photographers so we did our own photoshoot and dinner was at some steak house, overlooking a sunset. That was our "reception". Our wedding was at 10am, first meal together as married couple was at Rubios haha. I loved everything about our day.
...Several years back, I knew a couple who spent a huge amount of money on their only daughter's marriage. The guy she married had the gall to invite his mistress to the wedding (though they only found out about this later). And, the marriage ended up in divorce. What a waste of money, and the parents who funded the wedding ended up looking like idiots...
I have a distant family member that had a big wedding and followed it up with 3 weeks in Hawaii. The first time I saw him after the wedding I brought up the reception and the good time that was had by most and he sighed heavily. When I asked what was wrong he informed me that he didn't break even. He told me that I gave the 2nd biggest gift($300 for me and my +1) and while they had spending money for their honeymoon, they spent way more than they brought in(his words).
We were hanging out in his small apartment that he was paying $900+ mo and was over 90% furnished with these no payments, no interest for 14 months deals. The couple was divorced less than 30 days after the first payments on the furniture was due.
He tried it again. I was not invited to his 2nd wedding. After dating his gf for over 3 years they decide to get married in Mexico, flying immediate family members and having their honeymoon there. They failed to break even because very few(less than 10) extended family members attended. Rumor has it that a lot of money was spent by the couple for their nuptials. They broke up after the second mortgage payment on a house they purchased prior to the wedding became due. Groom felt all his money was going to pay bills and he wanted out. The divorced was final less than 12 months after they tied the knot.
This family member loves to brag about how much money he spends on trips, clothes, electronics etc. He does this with people that earn a lot less than he does. What he doesn't like is when the bills start coming in and he actually has to fork over the money.
These examples say more about the groom than anything else, but I couldn't help remembering how in the first wedding some of the people seemed genuinely happy to be there, some appeared indifferent, disengaged like they were having a beer at home and some made faces when the food was served, when the dj was providing the music and complaining that the venue was too far, cold and they were still hungry. Most of the people that attended were not focusing on the couple.
If I ever get married it will be justice of the peace or a large wedding like this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45
It's up to the betrothed couple as to what type of wedding they prefer. My "I think" should not have any bearing on their decision.
As far as 'weird' as in the OP's initial question: there is nothing weird about a small scale ceremony. If I had to think 'weird' I suppose it would be couples who spend hoards of money on a wedding that they, or their parents, cannot afford . . . and in too many instances as a means of showing off.
A couple I know held their wedding on their friend's ranch and had over a hundred guests that enjoyed a BBQ feast and country music to dance the night away.
My idea of a wedding is to go to the courthouse and sign the papers. I don't care for bachelorette parties or anything extravagant, including the dress. Is that weird? My bf is different, he wants a big wedding with all of his relatives and friends (he has a crapload.) I've never been a big fan of anything that puts attention on me - graduation for both hs and college, never went. Will most likely not go to my graduation ceremony for graduate degree either. It makes me feel uncomfortable and weird because to me, it's just another phase in life that everyone goes through, why make a big deal out of it? Haven't told bf, he just casually mentioned it one day and started talking about it while I tried to change the subject.
Is this usually a deal breaker for guys? Literally I only have maybe 4-5 friends I would really want at my wedding if it came down to it and my family, which consists of 10 people max. No other relatives here. But if I had to pick, just me and the bf at the courthouse. I see people plan their weddings years ahead and it always amazes me
No, it isn't weird. Most guys don't really care too much about the wedding day. I would sense that most guys would prefer smaller weddings with less logistics.
I've never been married, but I've observed a number of approaches to weddings over the years. The best weddings were the ones where the couple went to Hawaii, got married in Hawaii, and stayed there for 1-2 weeks for the honeymoon. The wedding attendees were the bride, groom, whoever officiated, a photographer, and a videographer. That's really all a wedding should be, followed by a good vacation.
My idea of a wedding is to go to the courthouse and sign the papers. I don't care for bachelorette parties or anything extravagant, including the dress. Is that weird? My bf is different, he wants a big wedding with all of his relatives and friends (he has a crapload.) I've never been a big fan of anything that puts attention on me - graduation for both hs and college, never went. Will most likely not go to my graduation ceremony for graduate degree either. It makes me feel uncomfortable and weird because to me, it's just another phase in life that everyone goes through, why make a big deal out of it? Haven't told bf, he just casually mentioned it one day and started talking about it while I tried to change the subject.
Is this usually a deal breaker for guys? Literally I only have maybe 4-5 friends I would really want at my wedding if it came down to it and my family, which consists of 10 people max. No other relatives here. But if I had to pick, just me and the bf at the courthouse. I see people plan their weddings years ahead and it always amazes me
Our wedding was about 12 people total and about 2000 bucks. Neither of us wanted a huge wedding. My family was against the wedding and they said they aren't going. Ok their choice. 20 years later still happily married.
We took the money that was gonna be spent on a wedding and we added it to the down payment on a house.
Still have the house. One of the best investmrnts we made.
I just got engaged like yesterday. I don't like attention on myself either. I'm an only child & just so used to the solitude that it would feel weird to me to have any kind of party focusing on me. The OP mentioned about graduation & the difference between that & a wedding is that there are at least hundreds of others up there graduating along w/ me, but a wedding is all about the couple ONLY & more specifically, the BRIDE. In fact, a wedding is about the only day I can think of in which a whole occasion is about just 1-2 people.
I don't want an engagement party, wedding shower, & all that hoopla either. I personally want something a little more special than going to city hall, but as far as guests, it could just be our mothers for all I care. My fiance' & I don't really have friends. We could care less about parties.
Again, I'm an only child. He has 3 siblings all already married & I honestly don't care for any of them & I never have to see them again in life really & most of them don't have good marriages nor respect the sanctity of marriage, so I sure don't want them at mine & I'm sure they don't really care about going. They're not kind, warm people & my fiance' knows it too.
When it comes down to the actual wedding ceremony, I kinda want to go to Hawaii or something with just our mothers & get married in a beautiful location there.
I'm engaged and I'm not having a tradition wedding because I don't want the drama and the stress. However I do want a ceremony because I want to wear a nice dress but there will be no bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, etc. Weddings are about the couple and that's what my wedding is going to reflect.
I'm not inviting a bunch of people that will only be there to gossip and critique my special day and even worse pay for people that won't even show up. I'm not wasting a ton of money on a wedding for other people, we'll do what we want and invite who we want and if anyone complains I'll simply ask them how much money were they planning to contribute. I'm sure that would shut them up.
If you look at the math, you will fairly quickly realize that the majority of the country can't possibly afford to have a big wedding. It's beyond the financial reach of easily 60% of the country.
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