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ah... not quite there crazynip. There are certainly areas just as highly developed as those you mentioned... North Central, the Northern Panhandle, Martinsburg. The entire state is comprised of small towns, but it is not entirely rural. There are rural areas near the developed areas, but truly rural areas are a different matter. Pocahontas and Randolph are far and away the most rural.
Having lived in the NYC area for several years, I'm hopeful that he/she won't be writing one of those stereotypcial hillbilly novels with inbred morons running around and so forth. I can assure the writer that the gene pool in West Virginia is actually more broad than it is in parts of The City, and playing to those stereotypes is not only inaccurate, it is unfair.
Hello. I've written a book set in Ansted. I've been posting it as I write it on a website called Fiction Press. It's called SADIE'S MOUNTAIN. I am going to leave the story up for a few more weeks if anyone would like to read it and give me feebback.
I'm going to take it down because I've entered it in a contest and it can't be on the website anymore if it makes it past round one.
I don't know if I'm allowed to post the link, but if you put the title in your web browser you'll be able to read it. I also have a Facebook page of the same name if you're interested in being updated during the process toward publication.
Well ain't you just a bucket of smiles and good will...
You asked for comments. Guess you want only – how great it is.
It has a lot of problems. The ones that show up immediately:
1. The main character talks to the reader too much instead of letting action and dialog tell the story.
Chapter 3 "As I settle into the steady hum of the car cruising up the VA-311 North, I start to let my mind ease into the thoughts behind the thoughts. I can face this. I'm not some little victim anymore. I'm a successful author. In fact, my children's novel about bugs on an organic farm is a New York Times bestseller and was just optioned by Pixar to be made into a computer generated movie in the coming year. They're already auditioning celebrities for the voiceovers. I'm rooting for Ashley Judd for the voice of Polly—my praying mantis protagonist."
Chapter 7 “Last night I sat in the old fashioned claw foot tub up to my nose in water trying to un-numb myself like one defrosts a chicken. The numbness is a reaction to anything being too much to handle. It started that night in the shed and comes back once in a while.
Seeing Dillon would have been enough but then add to that the nine hour flight, the three hours of driving, the nerves all day, the memories being just right at the surface, seeing Momma so sick, riding my horse, meeting my little brother, finding out Dillon has a girlfriend, Monty getting spooked, getting thrown off of him. Arguing with Dillon was just the last straw.”
2. Trying to set it in WV adds to your problems because you don't have the language or the geography right. There are problems with basic facts.
Chapter 1 Third sentence of the first paragraph.
"The wind always blew in our part of the Appalachians. It couldn't help itself. It was so happy to be there, near the top of the world." -- Everest or K2?
But the 4th paragraph starts with:
"Mosquitoes were swarming all throughout the chilly air ..."
Mosquitoes don't swarm where there is wind - anywhere in the world
3. It really does read like you want to depict West Virginians in a bad light. Why not set it in Northern California or New York?
My recommendations:
You might do better writing non-fiction.
If this is a story that is crying for you to tell, set it somewhere you know.
Loose the on again, off again attempts at back-woods language.
Look at some of the websites that help new authors.
Explore writing for an erotic press - they pay very well and aren't as concerned with style.
Last edited by HillsAndTrees; 01-19-2013 at 09:52 AM..
Yeah...I just came across this old post and I don't know how my thread got hijacked to bash a random aspiring writer's totally unrelated story lol.
I actually lost the bookmark for this thread a while back (after the initial conversation had essentially died) and completely forgot what forum it was on, so I wasn't able to check back to see if there were any additional responses. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I ended up settling on Elkins (the rural surrounds, not the city itself) as the main setting and I appreciate the info that was provided here when making that decision. I do still have some issues to work out regarding exact geographical details, but they are quite specific and I'll be visiting Elkins again over the summer, so I'm sure I can get the answers I need while there in person. Unless there are any Randolph County locals on here, especially those familiar with the Monongahela National Forest, who might be willing to briefly converse with me via email about the realism of the story's geographical elements! If not...I'll just wait until the next visit to WV
Last edited by thegingerkids; 04-27-2013 at 01:32 PM..
I'm glad this book isn't one of those horror novels about inbred cannibals or about the Klan or any other rural or Southern stereotypes like that either. With your setting and premise I kind of get this feeling especally if you are from New York City. I've noticed in Hollywood and novels when they want a nice rural setting they choose the Northeast or Midwest, but when they want a dangerous, trashy, or racist theme its set in the South. West Virginia is portrayed very negatively in the media like in Wrong Turn or Silent Hill.
I personally think that Hampshire County, around Augusta and Romney, might fit the bill, or even Mineral County which borders on Cumberland, MD. Romney and Augusta are not very big towns and are located on Route 50 and I can picture a backwoods story being set there if its what you are looking for. Romney and Augusta are small enough to not even have a Walmart and there are no chain motels only those local roadside motels you see in movies and there are also no chain restaurants. Hampshire County IS very beautiful and rugged. Every time Hollywood portrays the rural South its this kind of place even though in reality towns like this are very rare. I always have a problem with all those movies where they are driving on two lane highways cross country and staying at little motels its not that common anymore.
In terms of nearby states, you may also try Tazewell County or Grundy in Virginia. That would fit too.
Last edited by Tom Lennox 70; 04-28-2013 at 10:21 PM..
Thanks, Tom, I'll look into those other areas as well for additional locations that are visited in the book. As of now, it makes the most sense for the core of the story to take place near Elkins, but let me try to describe the setting in more detail.
What I'd really like is a house that is nowhere near a main road. Perhaps 5-10 minutes off a small country road along a private drive, with no other houses nearby so that it's completely isolated, not easily accessible unless you're intentionally driving towards the house through private property that is sheltered from the main road. The house should be surrounded by woods, ideally with direct access to the Monongahela National Forest or a similar large wooded area. Is that something that exists? Would it be possible for a private property to border such a forest, with the ability to walk right into it from the backyard? I'm not sure about legal restrictions when it comes to housing or private property near a national forest. Obviously, it is fiction so I'm not looking for an exact example of the house I'm creating in the story...I'd just like to get an idea of whether or not it would be legally and geographically plausible to have such an isolated home and surrounding property right on the edge of a forest like Monongahela.
Additionally, one of the main characters runs a gas station and auto repair shop, which I would prefer to be close to and accessible from Route 219 but not necessarily along an actual highway. More of a smaller road that veers of from it, with slightly less traffic, like so:
The station/repair shop itself would stand right along this type of road, not completely isolated, but not directly surrounded by other houses or businesses for a little ways in either direction, so that there is enough room for a large cleared out car lot and chop shop behind it:
Based on these descriptions, is it realistic to set the story in the vicinity of Elkins? Again, it's pure fiction and there are very few details given about the locations other than general visual descriptions plus a few mentions of the nearest town/city and the forest. I plan on using the Tygart Valley Regional Jail and the character visits some other areas of WV, but there's no point at which he spends any real time walking around the city of Elkins. It's primarily focused on the quieter, less distinct areas of Randolph County that could theoretically be any number of places in the country (but that, for a number of reasons, need to be in WV near an expansive park). The only truly important references relate to a house that offers direct access to a major forest, preferably Monongahela, and a gas station that's close to Route 219 on the type of road shown above. I don't need to know whether or not such specific locations exist; I'd just like to know if, in a fictional scenario, the setting could make sense.
And no, this is definitely not about cannibals or racist inbred hillbillies. The world has enough of those stories (which have their place, certainly, but it's not something I care to write myself). The story is actually inspired by a massive conglomeration of real people and true events, woven into a few fictional characters. It's not a horror or crime thriller but a dark drama and character study based on work done in criminal psychology. One of the main characters is a bad guy, but not a bad stereotype. He's just your average middle American guy, nothing extreme or over the top. My aim is realism, not mainstream murder mayhem
Last edited by thegingerkids; 04-29-2013 at 12:30 PM..
.......... My aim is realism, not mainstream murder mayhem
You might want to try a Private Message to GottaHerdOn. If I'm not mistaken, he lives in Elkins.
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