Does anyone else get annoyed when people say being a stay at home mom is a full time job? (middle class, jobs)
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I've done both and would easily pick working a full-time job. It's not even close really. Note: I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old.
OP - close your eyes and imagine making the following changes to your job situation. Then tell me if you wouldn't leave that job for another one....
1) You now have two bosses instead of one, both of whom are 2 years old or younger and continuously pee their pants.
2) Your bosses are the most demanding bosses ever. They want what they want, when they want it. And they will tell you what they want 350 times a minute until you give it to them. They are relentless and unprofessional to the highest degree.
3) You cannot switch bosses if you do not like them. You are stuck.
4) Similarly, you have no career growth potential. You are stuck in the same position, with the same bosses, in the same work environment, for a minimum of 18 years.
5) Speaking of your work environment, you work alone in a 3-person office: just yourself and your two bosses. There are no lunch dates or water cooler talk.
6) Your work is the most boring work ever. Imagine stacking blocks for 8 hours a day or reading "The Hungry Caterpillar" over and over and over again. Want a break from it? Tough.... there's no potential to move to more interesting projects ever.
6) You get no PTO or sick time. Zero.
7) You get no scheduled breaks. Most days, at least one of your bowel movements is witnessed by your bosses.
8) Change your scheduled shift from one 8-hour shift to a variable 16-hour shift. Oh, and your boss loves to demand something from you at 2AM, 4AM, etc and you HAVE to deliver. Again, you have no choice.
9) There is no such thing as a "workweek". Made it to Friday afternoon? Congratulations! Your reward is doing it twice more until Monday arrives.
10) And you do all of this for FREE. You do not get paid. You get no benefits.
There are some fulfilling things about parenting, but don't belittle those patient, loving people who raise children and keep our society going.
Hahaha
This actually sounds like when I was a residential counselor for a at risk youth behavioral health facility, except my bosses were 7-12 years old and tried to bite, pee on, and stab me on a daily basis. Compared to that being a sahm has been a breeze. I think back to some of my jobs like that one when I'm having a bad day with the kids and realize it could actually be worse. But it's pretty hilariously accurate.
I've done both and would easily pick working a full-time job. It's not even close really. Note: I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old.
OP - close your eyes and imagine making the following changes to your job situation. Then tell me if you wouldn't leave that job for another one....
1) You now have two bosses instead of one, both of whom are 2 years old or younger and continuously pee their pants.
2) Your bosses are the most demanding bosses ever. They want what they want, when they want it. And they will tell you what they want 350 times a minute until you give it to them. They are relentless and unprofessional to the highest degree.
3) You cannot switch bosses if you do not like them. You are stuck.
4) Similarly, you have no career growth potential. You are stuck in the same position, with the same bosses, in the same work environment, for a minimum of 18 years.
5) Speaking of your work environment, you work alone in a 3-person office: just yourself and your two bosses. There are no lunch dates or water cooler talk.
6) Your work is the most boring work ever. Imagine stacking blocks for 8 hours a day or reading "The Hungry Caterpillar" over and over and over again. Want a break from it? Tough.... there's no potential to move to more interesting projects ever.
6) You get no PTO or sick time. Zero.
7) You get no scheduled breaks. Most days, at least one of your bowel movements is witnessed by your bosses.
8) Change your scheduled shift from one 8-hour shift to a variable 16-hour shift. Oh, and your boss loves to demand something from you at 2AM, 4AM, etc and you HAVE to deliver. Again, you have no choice.
9) There is no such thing as a "workweek". Made it to Friday afternoon? Congratulations! Your reward is doing it twice more until Monday arrives.
10) And you do all of this for FREE. You do not get paid. You get no benefits.
There are some fulfilling things about parenting, but don't belittle those patient, loving people who raise children and keep our society going.
Ok...but would you put SAHM on a resume?
This could have been an interesting discussion. Instead, it's turned into a pissing contest between moms and non-moms. Oh, well.
My first wife worked outside the home. We had a housekeeper - nanny. And her mother was around during the week. I was working 50 hours.
She got up at 5. Took a train to work. Came home at 8 dead tired and took out food. Went to sleep by 10. No family time.
My son ran wild, got involved with a bad crowd and got in trouble. She denied anything was wrong.
My second wife takes parenting seriously. She worked part time. Her primary job was raising our children.
My two kids from my second marriage are on the dean's list at college. They work in the summer. They do volunteer work. They are polite and productive, always willing to help out when they are home.
Son from my first marriage? He is almost 30 now. Dropped out of three colleges. Is entitled and calls me every few years to beg for money. He lives with his 5th fiancee. Ahem...and he is nasty and mean.
My second wife watched our children like a hawk and deferred many of her own dreams for them. The difference is night and day.
My first wife worked outside the home. We had a housekeeper - nanny. And her mother was around during the week. I was working 50 hours.
She got up at 5. Took a train to work. Came home at 8 dead tired and took out food. Went to sleep by 10. No family time.
My son ran wild, got involved with a bad crowd and got in trouble. She denied anything was wrong.
My second wife takes parenting seriously. She worked part time. Her primary job was raising our children.
My two kids from my second marriage are on the dean's list at college. They work in the summer. They do volunteer work. They are polite and productive, always willing to help out when they are home.
Son from my first marriage? He is almost 30 now. Dropped out of three colleges. Is entitled and calls me every few years to beg for money. He lives with his 5th fiancee. Ahem...and he is nasty and mean.
My second wife watched our children like a hawk and deferred many of her own dreams for them. The difference is night and day.
And you had no hand in raising any of them?
Maybe your first had enough trauma from a broken family after dad got the new perfect wife and new perfect kids?
My parents owner their own business and worked constantly, so I really don't think a working mother is to blame here.
My first wife worked outside the home. We had a housekeeper - nanny. And her mother was around during the week. I was working 50 hours.
She got up at 5. Took a train to work. Came home at 8 dead tired and took out food. Went to sleep by 10. No family time.
My son ran wild, got involved with a bad crowd and got in trouble. She denied anything was wrong.
My second wife takes parenting seriously. She worked part time. Her primary job was raising our children.
My two kids from my second marriage are on the dean's list at college. They work in the summer. They do volunteer work. They are polite and productive, always willing to help out when they are home.
Son from my first marriage? He is almost 30 now. Dropped out of three colleges. Is entitled and calls me every few years to beg for money. He lives with his 5th fiancee. Ahem...and he is nasty and mean.
My second wife watched our children like a hawk and deferred many of her own dreams for them. The difference is night and day.
So wonderful that you have a perfect 2nd wife
Why didn't you give your first wife the luxury of working part time??? And you take NO responsibility for what happened with your son? Trust me, you were a lot more than a little responsible.
I know Im gonna get **** for this.
But oh how I wish I could have the luxury of a husband going out and punching a time clock, working hard and making good money for me to be able to watch my babies grow up and be apart of their special moments/milestones in the comfort of my own home.
Im not a mom, but I currently work full time and work in a very hard industry, commute 1.5 hours each way, and usually work 50 hours a week. I see girls on my facebook give themselves all of this credit that being a stay at home mom is the "hardest job in the world". Yet they have never earned a degree/worked a real intensive job that requires critical thinking/hard physical labor.
Just wondering if this bothers anyone else. My sisters were stay at home moms for a while but then went back to work. They told me it was the most amazing thing to be at home with the kids though and they loved every minute, saying it wasnt that hard because it was rewarding and they could do it in their pajamas.
My personal favorite is when people put being a stay at home mom as a job on their resume.. Maybe im young and naive but to me that just sounds odd.
I've done both-- I stayed home with each of my three kids for their first 6-9 months and, while I missed them terribly, going back to work was WAY easier than being home. WAY easier. And, yes, I have a 'real' job (at the time, I worked for a Fortune 100 company in sales)-- and I have a 'real' education (MBA from an Ivy).
I now work, full time from a home based office (my kids are all school aged) and it's still challenging to manage it all-- but working from home does allow me to have a bit more flexibility and be able to do more with my kids (the lack of a commute is a HUGE boon and benefit). W
ould it be a bit simpler to be "just" a SAHM now that I'm well past the tantrum-ing toddler age? Maybe. But I'll take the option of earning a living and being able to afford to outsource some of the drudgery (i.e. scrubbing toilets). The only way being a SAHM is easy is if you're a SAHM with a live in nanny, cook AND maid. Now, THAT is luxury.
Being a SAHM can be thankless, but easy? Heck, no. If you think so, I suggest that you babysit a gaggle of kids for a few weeks' straight, while maintaining a spotless house, cooking all meals, etc-- for no pay-- and then report back on how 'luxurious' it is.
This could have been an interesting discussion. Instead, it's turned into a pissing contest between moms and non-moms. Oh, well.
Yes, it could have been. Turning the thread into a debate about the difficulties of parenting is , arguably, thread jacking. Very few posters addressed the questions presented which I'm paraphrasing:
1) Is it proper for a stay-at-home-mom to equate her performing normal family duties and responsibilities with having a job that serves outside organizations or people like being a social worker, police officer, fighter pilot, or an insurance actuary?
2) Is it proper for a stay-at-home-mom to list her normal family duties and responsibilities on a resume as relevant work experience?
The question was not "is being a stay-at-home-parent really as hard as my Facebook friends say it is?"
Technically, the closest thing to a question was "Does it bother anyone else when people say that being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world?" (especially if said people haven't had an actual employed job, perhaps).
Agree. The OP was too long and didn't address her intended question succinctly. The discussion took the course it did because the original OP was all over the place. Next time, try actually asking just the question you want answered. The other details could be addressed later in the thread without confusing your intent
Yes, it could have been. Turning the thread into a debate about the difficulties of parenting is , arguably, thread jacking. Very few posters addressed the questions presented which I'm paraphrasing:
1) Is it proper for a stay-at-home-mom to equate her performing normal family duties and responsibilities with having a job that serves outside organizations or people like being a social worker, police officer, fighter pilot, or an insurance actuary?
2) Is it proper for a stay-at-home-mom to list her normal family duties and responsibilities on a resume as relevant work experience?
The question was not "is being a stay-at-home-parent really as hard as my Facebook friends say it is?"
1) No. Normal family duties and responsibilities do not prepare anyone well enough to perform jobs in the workplace. Unless the job the SAHM is applying for is an actual childcare role such as nanny or daycare worker. Just because I can clean my toilet at home doesn't mean I'm qualified to be a janitor and just because I pay the household bills and manage the family finances doesn't mean I'm qualified to work as a bookkeeper or financial planner. That's why I always LMAO whenever they publish those studies that a SAHM is worth 150k a year in salary. Those surveys assume the SAHM is an expert in all the relevant fields and would command top wages in each of those fields, which is completely ridiculous.
2) No, it is not appropriate to list normal family duties on a resume as work experience because they aren't work experience, period. It might be okay to list the SAHM period of time on a resume as one line with dates in order to explain a large work gap, but certainly no duties should be listed along with it. Everyone in the world knows what a SAHM does. As a general rule, I would say don't list the SAH period even with a big work gap and just explain it when the gap question comes up during the interview.
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