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Old 11-10-2015, 01:25 PM
 
10,225 posts, read 7,595,616 times
Reputation: 23167

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Hahaha! That really made me smile!

1) No school I know of is 8 hrs a day

2) Who do you think runs the PTAs, class parties, school activities, fundraising foundations, community outreach, etc? Working parents are involved, but most of the volunteering hours are put in by stay-at-home-parents.

3) Extracurriculars? Music? Sports? Umpteen other options that are not necessary, but enhance a family's life and offer the child opportunities.

You obviously don't have kids
When I was a kid, I caught the bus before 7:30 a.m., or left walking, and I got home about 3 or 3:30. That's 7 1/2 - 8 hrs.

Most mothers don't participate in PTAs, class parties, school activities, community outreach any more than working mothers do. I didn't know any mother who did any of those things at all.

Mothers don't participate in extracurriculars. The kids do. To get out of their mother's hair. Some moms who are into sports will go to sports games when the kids are older, but most don't. (Most kids don't participate in sports.)

As some posters have said, all the things that stay at home mothers do, mothers who have jobs outside the home also do. And some of the things they do are things that all adults in America do (shopping, cleaning, cooking).

Not too many mothers have heart attacks on Monday mornings from the stress of dropping the kids off at school. Or get fired because she burned dinner. Or get kicked out of the house because the breadwinner has to cut costs. Those things happen to people who have jobs.
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Old 11-10-2015, 01:30 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
6,895 posts, read 5,870,524 times
Reputation: 23410
Having been a childless working person, a stay-at-home-mom, and a working mom, by far the last was the most challenging to do well. As a working parent I had almost all the same responsibilities as when I was staying home all day, plus 8 hours per day at work. I'm not saying there aren't challenges with being a stay-at-home parent, but no, I really don't buy that in most circumstances it's harder work than being a working parent, unless you're neglecting either the job or the family. For some people it may be psychologically or socially easier to have a job, but less work, no. Of course, there are special cases like disabilities, illnesses, extraordinarily large families or unusual situations, etc., but I am speaking in terms of all things being equal.
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Old 11-10-2015, 01:31 PM
 
10,225 posts, read 7,595,616 times
Reputation: 23167
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
I have worked since I was 14. After earning two college degrees, I worked for 15 more years as a high-level advertising executive. I quit working when my first child was born. Being a stay at home mom was every bit as hard as any job I've ever had. I never got a break, since I literally lived at work. I got no appreciation from anyone, including people like the OP who assumed it was a cake walk. My kids are older, and I am now back a work, and I still think being a SAHM was harder. And I have relatively easy kids, in the grand scheme of things.
As it has been said by posters, all that you did while staying at home, working mothers do, as well. You didn't experience that, since you quit your job when you had children. All that you did not related to the kids are things that we all do (cooking, cleaning, shopping). The lack of appreciation is something we all get: I've cooked and cleaned and cared for myself all my adult life, but no one has ever "appreciated" me for that. Why should they? That's doing just what people do to care for themselves in life. We ALL cook and clean and such.

There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom. But it's not a job. It's work, for sure. Work that everyone does, not just stay at home moms.

There's no performance rating, no raises, no merit reviews, no firings or layoffs. You could do a lousy job or a great job. There's no way for others to judge....since it's not a real job. Your family would keep you around even if you were lousy at it, because they love you. And kids can't fire you. In a real job, it's not that way.
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Old 11-10-2015, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Des Moines, IA, USA
579 posts, read 433,772 times
Reputation: 810
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post
Most mothers don't participate in PTAs, class parties, school activities, community outreach any more than working mothers do. I didn't know any mother who did any of those things at all.
This seems very strange to me. I recently went along on a field trip. There were a lot of other parents there. I can't imagine that very many of them took five hours out of their work day to visit the pumpkin patch. I also have a neighbor who is a very active PTA member, and I know for a fact that she stays home. Also, my mom, a SAHM, went on all my field trips and was a "home room mother" (came to parties and such) during a couple of the years I was in elementary school (which granted, was a while ago).

Quote:
Mothers don't participate in extracurriculars. The kids do. To get out of their mother's hair. Some moms who are into sports will go to sports games when the kids are older, but most don't. (Most kids don't participate in sports.)
A lot of kids do. Or they go to swim lessons, or band lessons, or drama club, or lots of other things that require shuttling around town. And often, as a parent, you can't just drop off your kids and leave, unless it's actually right at the school. You sit there and observe what they're doing (or chat with other parents, or whatever). It's not like a break to go do whatever you want - so as a working parent, you wouldn't be able to do that, unless you had a flexible schedule.
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Old 11-10-2015, 02:24 PM
 
29 posts, read 49,116 times
Reputation: 17
I'm not sure why raising your own kids would be considered a "job" at all. (Taking care of other people's kids is the job right? OPP) Although parenthood is a challenging and important endeavor, to say it's the "hardest job" is definitely an exaggeration of those who probably don't realize how good they have it.

Moving to the whims of babies and toddlers day-in and day-out certainly isn't fun. What I hear from SAHP is that the job never ends; because they are not the ones going out to work, they end up responsible for all the chores and taking care of the home. That part, I get. I spouse gets a 9-to-5 and the other gets 24/7. I also think it's a huge risk for a spouse to give up their income generation and depend on the other spouse to handle things and stay loyal. I can respect that.

Like many, I stayed at home with mine for the first few months and then went back to work. Going back to work was a relief, not because it was easier but because there was more variation in the day.

To list it on a resume is reasonable depending on what job your applying for, IMO.
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Old 11-10-2015, 02:30 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,192,444 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by BradPiff View Post
Especially when you consider

1.)The vast majority of Stay at home moms are in middle class to wealthy households(husband is a doctor, lawyer, investment banker etc) where you can afford nannies

2.) once the child/children turn 5 they go to school for 8 hours a day. So all you're really doing is getting them ready for school, Doing homework at night and send them to bed.
1) post your source, or did you just make that up?

2) no. Not even close. Laughable, in fact.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gunluvver2 View Post
Many women learn how to work from home and not even leave the house. The INTERNET may save the family. Ironicisn't it?
Working from home still requires a skill and some work experience to get hired. Can't get it he head smack to work on my phone.
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Old 11-10-2015, 02:37 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,603 posts, read 47,717,056 times
Reputation: 48321
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpollen View Post

Most mothers don't participate in PTAs, class parties, school activities, community outreach any more than working mothers do. I didn't know any mother who did any of those things at all.
Maybe in your area, but not in mine.
When I was involved with the elementary PTO, there were over 150 SAHPs involved with what you mentioned and more (mentoring, classroom aides, etc).
Working outside the home parents... two.
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Old 11-10-2015, 03:21 PM
 
5,198 posts, read 5,281,818 times
Reputation: 13249
Quote:
Originally Posted by shamieya View Post
I'm not sure why raising your own kids would be considered a "job" at all. (Taking care of other people's kids is the job right? OPP) Although parenthood is a challenging and important endeavor, to say it's the "hardest job" is definitely an exaggeration of those who probably don't realize how good they have it.

Moving to the whims of babies and toddlers day-in and day-out certainly isn't fun. What I hear from SAHP is that the job never ends; because they are not the ones going out to work, they end up responsible for all the chores and taking care of the home. That part, I get. I spouse gets a 9-to-5 and the other gets 24/7. I also think it's a huge risk for a spouse to give up their income generation and depend on the other spouse to handle things and stay loyal. I can respect that.

Like many, I stayed at home with mine for the first few months and then went back to work. Going back to work was a relief, not because it was easier but because there was more variation in the day.

To list it on a resume is reasonable depending on what job your applying for, IMO.


Which jobs?

I can't think of one.
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Old 11-10-2015, 03:31 PM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,234,709 times
Reputation: 27047
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynnie1993 View Post
Lol wmns4life.

But the thing is...Im not a mom. So its not like im jealous of either side Im posting this because I saw someone put this on a resume
You seem a bit Catty. Especially when you speak without personal experience. Hard to have an intelligent debate with someone who has not had the personal experience. It would be interesting to see what you believed after you watched your nieces/nephews 24/7 for a couple of weeks.

But, you should get some diverse answers. Here's mine....

I have been both...Staying at home is a fulltime job. And, working and being a mother is very hard too...for different reasons.

Bless those that have the option to choose.
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Old 11-10-2015, 03:52 PM
 
2,684 posts, read 2,404,133 times
Reputation: 6284
Quote:
Originally Posted by JanND View Post
You seem a bit Catty. Especially when you speak without personal experience. Hard to have an intelligent debate with someone who has not had the personal experience. It would be interesting to see what you believed after you watched your nieces/nephews 24/7 for a couple of weeks.

But, you should get some diverse answers. Here's mine....

I have been both...Staying at home is a fulltime job. And, working and being a mother is very hard too...for different reasons.

Bless those that have the option to choose.
My wife is a SAHM and I work full time. Sometimes I take a day off of work to give her the day off, and I fully 100% agree that being a SAHM is a job. A hard one.

I'm an attorney/CPA working on complex cross-border M&A by day, and it's much less demanding than tending to a newborn and a 20 month old. When I get to the office the next day after being a SAHD, I cherish the silence and the control I have over my day.
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