Does anyone else get annoyed when people say being a stay at home mom is a full time job?

[MissTerri]

I am a sahm and know lots of stay at home moms and haven't found the homes of stay at home moms to necessarily be cleaner or more decorated then those of working moms. In fact overall I've seen the opposite. I also don't know any who have money to shop endlessly for the latest in fashion or interior design due to the fact that they only have one income coming in. Most I know are quite frugal and tend to spend time doing crafts, cooking from scratch (one huge reason is that it saves money) spending time at the park or at the library, rec centers, reading with their kids, meeting up with other stay at home parents so the kids can play, etc.


I don't think staying at home is always harder then working and I don't think working is always harder then staying at home. There are so many factors involved including temperament of both parents and children, work environment and job demands, daycare arrangement, help from family and friends, access to activities, money, commute, I think both have their tradeoffs and each family who has the option can weigh all of the factors and make that choice to work or stay home. They both are hard at times and they both involve sacrifice. I think it's counterproductive to buy into stereotypes and pit one group against another. Being a parent is hard whether you are working or staying at home. Everyone's situation is different.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by MissTerri

I am a sahm and know lots of stay at home moms and haven't found the homes of stay at home moms to necessarily be cleaner or more decorated then those of working moms. In fact overall I've seen the opposite. I also don't know any who have money to shop endlessly for the latest in fashion or interior design due to the fact that they only have one income coming in. Most I know are quite frugal and tend to spend time doing crafts, cooking from scratch (one huge reason is that it saves money) spending time at the park or at the library, rec centers, reading with their kids, meeting up with other stay at home parents so the kids can play, etc.


I don't think staying at home is always harder then working and I don't think working is always harder then staying at home. There are so many factors involved including temperament of both parents and children, work environment and job demands, daycare arrangement, help from family and friends, access to activities, money, commute, I think both have their tradeoffs and each family who has the option can weigh all of the factors and make that choice to work or stay home. They both are hard at times and they both involve sacrifice. I think it's counterproductive to buy into stereotypes and pit one group against another. Being a parent is hard whether you are working or staying at home. Everyone's situation is different.

That is true. In my case, the town in which I lived, which was my hometown, had become more affluent in recent years, so the sahms did tend to have more disposable income from husbands who made above-average salaries. Not every sahm is rich, obviously. It was just my experience of living in a place where most people had more resources than I did. For example, I was one of the few renters in town. It IS a very different situation if you are a working mom with no other financial support vs. a sahm who is provided for by someone else. I wanted my kid to have the same things theirs did as far as school trips and extra-curricular activities. It just took some creative financing for me to provide them, while most of these women just had to snap their fingers and the money they needed would appear.

I do have to say that I didn't run into much snobbery from anyone. I got a lot of vacation time so I did my share as far as class mom and art mom activities and got along with the other moms, and while they couldn't fathom getting up at 5 a.m. and catching a train to Manhattan, no one put me down for it, at least not to my face.

[misscross]

Originally Posted by MissTerri

There are so many factors involved including temperament of both parents and children, work environment and job demands, daycare arrangement, help from family and friends, access to activities, money, commute, I think both have their tradeoffs and each family who has the option can weigh all of the factors and make that choice to work or stay home.

I couldn't agree more with the statement above. I have friends who are SAHMs that are busy managing special needs children and much of the household due husbands who travel a lot for work and I'm sure that is not easy to do. Others are rather tone deaf like a friend of mine who whines all the time about how hard it is to look after one kindergartner, mind you she is whining to me who works and I have 2 kids one special needs.

[RVD90277]

lol, it definitely does not belong on a resume. there will be a resume gap and if it needs explanation i would just say "took X years off to raise infant children" or something like that but i wouldn't put it on a resume.

after getting a raise and moving to a cheaper location, my wife became a SAHM and has been for the past 3 years. she loves it a lot more than full time work. she does part time work though when available (her old co-workers sometimes give her contract work).

it's a lot of work to raise infant children (we have a 2 year old and a 1 year old) but i would guess that 9 out of 10 women would prefer to stay home in their pajamas and raise kids than go to an office job all day long if they could afford to do so.

or let's put it this way...if someone said they would pay me the same compensation that i make now for me to stay home and raise the kids, i'd do that in a heartbeat. why? because staying at home and raising kids is easier.