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Laundry would be necessary regardless of whether you're staying home. I certainly understand that some people are not temperamentally suited to being a SAHP and/or find it challenging for various reasons. But many of the difficulties people complain about are either self-imposed, or something the person would be dealing with regardless of employment status.
White people and non-white people are eligible for the same WIC and supplemental income "handouts." It's based on income and family size, not race.
I think some people put it on their resume to explain why they weren't working for a period of time. It is my experience that employers ask about employment gaps. Putting SAHM on the resume fills the gap so they don't have to ask.
This actually does make sense to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP
I am white BTW, so no hand outs here either.
This is probably the most ignorant statement I've read all day.
Which is true. IF YOU and other HR people judge us by shows like "desperate housewives", or "the real housewives of NJ" etc., then your comment is very valid. The fact of the matter is that most likely the majority of SAHMs don't live like that, and there is nothing glamorous about doing laundry non stop...and so forth and no, we don't get vacation time off! Or are paid, or get raises for working hard to raise well mannered responsible adults. We get nothing. We don't get to just return to work; HRs assume we've dumbed down while at home...believe me....it's been years since I've been trying to get another degree, get a better job etc...and the "stay at home GAP" won't let me be! I am white BTW, so no hand outs here either.
Being a "working" mom is a choice too. Now, it maybe a purposeful choice, or a choice made by lack of advance planning, or the default for other poor choices, but whether moms stay at home with their children, or work outside the home... is all a result of choices made.
Oh - and as to those who believe working moms volunteer at school and with their children's activities too - lol. 99-1 in the elementary school level. Working moms show up for field trips and fun days... but you will NEVER see one reshelving library books, helping the teacher get a lesson plan ready, staying behind AFTER the party to clean up the classroom.
And now that I am working, I do continue to volunteer, but now my kids are teens. And most of the other moms at the booster meetings and activities are working moms who used to be stay at home moms, and then one or two stay at home moms. But again, MOST working moms are nowhere to be seen... until carnival day... then they show up and want the easy jobs. Couldn't be bothered to show up to ONE meeting, send in ONE snack or help to clean up or organize... but other people are looking? Yup, that's when they show. In my teens drama club... 42 students. 8 regular attendees at the booster meetings, 1 is a stay at home parent. The sign ups for costumes, sending in meals (potluck style) for all day rehearsals on weekends, set building, etc - all falls on the 8 of us. The other 34 families are "too busy" to buy a package of Oreos and send it in on Saturday, or Tuesday, or Thursday... but the night of the show when the grandparents and the rest of the community is going to show up? We get a 20 or so of them volunteering to sit at the table taking tickets... trying to impress people with their dedication to their children's lives...
Oh - and as to those who believe working moms volunteer at school and with their children's activities too - lol.
We live in an area where the majority of moms work and many were very active in the schools in every capacity… PTA board members, helping with class parties, fundraising, on planning committees, field trips, etc. Their volunteering for the schools continued from elementary to middle to high school. This isn’t a “young mom†area and lots of the parents appeared to have a lot of flexibility in their job hours/days (as I did). We also had quite a few (working) dads who were very involved in the schools, too.
There are some people who make staying home and taking care of kids and home an art--and turn it into a business--like Ree Drummond The Pioneer Wife...
and there are some people who are slackers and take advantage of their husbands' efforts and good will...
just like there are workers in every type of business, on every career level who are slackers and taking advantage of other workers' efforts and their employers--
you can only do what you can do to keep YOUR self respect for your own behavior/action
ROFLOL You keep on believing that if it makes you happy.
You can't get your young kids to do chores? Then I hate to say it, but it seems Michelle Duggar is a better mother than you are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP
You're delusional! Or are watching too much bad TV! It IS a full time job, without vacation time, without salary or raises, without socializing, without brakes...and with all sorts of sacrificing!
Trust me, you do NOT want to stay home! Work would be a vacation for me right now!
Are you trying to make staying at home with young kids sound like a terrible thing? Because you're succeeding at that. If it's is such a bad thing, then why did you choose to have kids in the first place and after choosing to have them, why did you stay home, and then continue to stay home with them?
I'm really not criticizing. But honestly, this is what makes people think most moms wish they hadn't had their kids. Because they talk about how hard it is all. the. time.
As to not saying you're a martyr, you are using the word "sacrifice". And that's pretty much what martyrs do.
Are you trying to make staying at home with young kids sound like a terrible thing? Because you're succeeding at that. If it's is such a bad thing, then why did you choose to have kids in the first place and after choosing to have them, why did you stay home, and then continue to stay home with them?
A couple of possibilities for why one would continue to stay home (not that I speak for her):
- The belief that it's better for the kids than daycare, or
- The inability to afford daycare, or
- The concept that a ridiculous share of income gained from one's job would go to said daycare (see also: #1)
As for the question about why a person would choose to have them...have you not been following along here? It's often harder than you imagine. Or the first few years are bad, but then it's a lifetime of better. Just because a person chooses to have a family, that doesn't mean they enjoy taking care of babies and little kids. But short of adopting an older child, that's part of the package.
Last edited by scatteredthunder; 11-13-2015 at 08:46 PM..
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