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A couple of possibilities for why one would continue to stay home (not that I speak for her):
- The belief that it's better for the kids than daycare, or
- The inability to afford daycare, or
- The concept that a ridiculous share of income gained from one's job would go to said daycare (see also: #1)
As for the question about why a person would choose to have them...have you not been following along here? It's often harder than you imagine. Or the first few years are bad, but then it's a lifetime of better. Just because a person chooses to have a family, that doesn't mean they enjoy taking care of babies and little kids. But short of adopting an older child, that's part of the package.
No, I understand staying home. I wish I could, just without the kids, though. And yes, it is hard - sometimes. Not all the time, though and as I said before, I don't think it's the hardest job around all the time for 18 years straight. What I am saying is that the SAHMs tend to want everyone to think they are living a life of servitude for the rest of their lives and no one else will ever work as hard as they do. And I don't believe that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP
Lastly, Michelle Duggar is the most delusional of them all. There is no way in h*ll one can justify 19 children at any point in time. I wouldn't use her as a "role model"! More like the contrary.
Well, I wasn't exactly complimenting you there. And I will agree with you on Michelle Duggar. As someone else said, if she had 19 cats, we'd call her a hoarder.
Originally Posted by scatteredthunder View Post
A couple of possibilities for why one would continue to stay home (not that I speak for her):
- The belief that it's better for the kids than daycare, or
- The inability to afford daycare, or
- The concept that a ridiculous share of income gained from one's job would go to said daycare (see also: #1)
THIS^^^^^
This however is not a "concept" it's a fact! "Math" is factual.
Quote:
The concept that a ridiculous share of income gained from one's job would go to said daycare
When my daughter was born in 2004, and before the company I was working for then moved to a different city, the one daycare that was the most clean and decent looking, meaning one where kids didn't have buggers hanging down their noses, was $1500 a month, and we were supposed to supply diapers, wipes, baby food/formula etc. I was making $9/hr at a time, and hubby was making $11. To say that only those who make $100,000 a year should have kids is also insulting. Why Is Childcare Getting So Expensive? - The Atlantic
Things change. To assume your life will be exactly the same once you have a kid, and that all that a kid needs is somehow free or very cheap is "delusional". Family situations change, jobs change, jobs get lost, families are forced to move elsewhere(it's very expensive to move when you factor in rent deposits/per size of house one needs, (as a family of 4 can't squeeze into a studio apartment)...an illness, having to add an elder family member to a household, and so forth are all things that can make 'staying home" very unrewarding and difficult. To be as ignorant as making insulting statements towards those who's situations aren't peachy just shows poor education on your part from YOUR parents. Shows no empathy, and shows how this "me, me, me" generation has lost all common sense and manners.
Remember, thanks to the epidemic of greed America has been experiencing for over 4 decades now, we no longer live in a society where one goes to school for accounting, and spends his/her entire life in that field of work, then retires, and has a pension. These are things that got lost THANKS to the daycare generation and the "emancipation" of women doing what men can do! (Which is BS IMO. I don't want to do what men do; that's why we have men, to do those manly things I don't want to do)....but whatever....now everyone wants to be a jack of all trades master of none, lower the quality of everything, and and then INSULT others when they see fit. I am home, I don't like it for "ME", but I made a point to teach my kids manners, and common sense, and not allow them to take advantage of others, be rude, and inconsiderate etc. So, while for "me" staying home is boring, annoying and I hate it, I am here, and my #1 purpose for being here is to make sure my kids don't grow up jerks like most of their generation that doesn't spend time with their mom-wanna-be-dad daycare kids raised by workers paid minimum wage.
Being a stay at home parent is rewarding and exhausting. I've been an employed parent with a child in daycare, and I was a stay-at-home mother. I've seen both sides of it. One thing isn't harder than the other. Both have their difficulties. Both are rewarding. It's time to end the battle of the stay at homes versus the workers. It doesn't benefit anyone and shows a lack of respect for the differences in family and personal situations.
I will say that I certainly learned and used a lot of organizational and management skills in running a house and family for ten years. Over the past 10 years or so I've been back in the working world, I've often been amazed at how some organizational and management tasks are difficult for some that just seem to be second nature to one that has been a stay at home parent.
I won't have time to read every post on here but from what I have seen many people have pointed out how exhausting being a housewife/husband is. Not to take anything away from what y'all do day-to-day, but please be aware that working people do everything you do AND they work. Some posts make it seem like it's an either-or thing. Chores have to get done regardless so just be happy you're fortunate enough to have 40+ more hours/week to complete them. Also be aware that it's a lot harder to get fired from being a SAHM/housewife than a regular job for poor performance and after a regular job lets you go it's not like you can collect child support and/or alimony from it.
No, it doesn't bother me, because I agree it is the hardest job. I work in IT and highly paid. It's nothing to sit there in 2 hour meetings and listen to presentations where your participation is very passive. If I had to take care of children for even 2 hours a day I would be going out of my mind. Mothers do this all week including the weekends, all day and every day. If they are asking for credit and accolades for doing it, it's because too many dim people think it isn't important work.
Ok before I read past the first page already attacking the OP Im an older woman of 45, no kids by chance, but married. Im likewise tired of this claim especially by younger people who have no clue. I have a right to say that since Im older. How do you know what's hard when you have never done anything else?
When you say SAHM is the hardest job, do you not think how you discount the services of others who serve overseas away from loved ones or never ending services of medical professional or law enforcement and you also slam infertile people? What you do only benefits your family. It also downplays the role of dad. Isnt that equally hard?
No one says rearing kids is unimportant or not hard but comparing it to a career is insane.And it doesn't mean it's the hardest thing in the world. I think they say this because they made poor choices in the first place. You have to look at the bigger picture. You made the choice to be a parent, anyway.There's no point in martyring yourself or downplaying what others do...
My kids came in two distinct waves of pairs separated by many years. I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mother. Being a stay-at-home mother is indeed a full-time job. Just like being a nanny, daycare worker, or housekeeper is a full-time job - you just don't receive a paycheck. When I was working full-time there were things I did as a stay-at-home mom that we paid others to do, or that my husband had to start doing instead, or that we did without. There were things that were more satisfying as a working mother and things that were more satisfying as a stay-at-home mother. Intellectually and socially it was better to have a job, hands down. Emotional guilt and exhaustion was greatly diminished by staying home, for both the stay-at-home parent and the one who continued working.
It is a choice every familiy has to decide for themselves. I do want to point out, though, that people get so focused on having a paycheck that many fail to realize that when you have multiple kids, that are of an age where they must have continual adult supervision, you have to make a rather good salary to come out ahead of just staying at home. It came as quite a shock to us when we figured out we had more money to spend if I tutored two-three evenings a week while my husband watched the kids than if I worked full-time, despite it looking like we had more when I worked at the end of the year filling out tax forms. There are a lot of expenses associated with being a working parent. As long as the higher wage earner can provide the health insurance, having a stay-at-home parent is not as out of reach as people tend to think.
But... It is a full-time job. I would never, however, claim it is the hardest job out there.
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Last edited by Oldhag1; 11-18-2015 at 06:56 AM..
Reason: Had an omitted word
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)....but whatever....now everyone wants to be a jack of all trades master of none, lower the quality of everything, and and then INSULT others when they see fit. I am home, I don't like it for "ME", but I made a point to teach my kids manners, and common sense, and not allow them to take advantage of others, be rude, and inconsiderate etc. So, while for "me" staying home is boring, annoying and I hate it, I am here, and my #1 purpose for being here is to make sure my kids don't grow up jerks like most of their generation that doesn't spend time with their mom-wanna-be-dad daycare kids raised by workers paid minimum wage.
