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Old 05-29-2016, 08:07 AM
 
11,558 posts, read 12,055,996 times
Reputation: 17758

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The day I returned to work from my brother's memorial service, boss walked over to my desk, literally threw a card at me and said,

"I thought about you."
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Old 05-29-2016, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,938,904 times
Reputation: 9885
My manager had a meeting and said, "bande1102, you need to anticipate random, unpredictable outtages so that you don't have any downtime due to system issues"

I assured him I'd work hard to develop my ESP.
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:38 AM
 
3,167 posts, read 4,003,230 times
Reputation: 8796
Head of HR, standing at a podium, in the middle of announcing a huge cut to benefits:

Glances down at phone, "What? The CEO wants me to go to a ball tonight? How am I going to find something to wear in time!"
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Old 05-29-2016, 10:41 AM
 
3,167 posts, read 4,003,230 times
Reputation: 8796
In the office, on a Friday evening at 6pm: "I know Friday night isn't the best time for a long meeting, BUT...."
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Old 05-29-2016, 11:33 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,394 posts, read 1,259,468 times
Reputation: 3243
"It's as if the local mental institution held a career day for (insert company name), handed out applications and hired a whole department on the spot."
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Old 05-29-2016, 12:06 PM
 
1,485 posts, read 954,886 times
Reputation: 2498
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
I got breast cancer at 34 - after surgery, I had 4 rounds of chemo and 7 weeks (daily) of radiation. During my chemo, I took short term disability - made me way sicker than I thought. Anyway, I had a boss who referred to that time as "vacation". As in, you had a vacation, I don't know why you need to take any more time off (after being back to work for several months).
After what you've been through, your boss was an insensitive jerk. I couldn't work under someone like that.
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Old 05-30-2016, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,650 posts, read 60,944,294 times
Reputation: 101083
I worked for a staffing company and we had a huge client that was doing a big staffing push, so all hands were on deck, including mine (marketing) and the owner's. Everyone was interviewing applicants. The lobby was stacked with people. The receptionist was walking back with completed applications and handing them out to all of us and as we'd finish an interview, we'd walk the person back out to the lobby and then call the name of the next applicant.

The boss strode out into the packed lobby and called out, "Jesus, I'm ready for ya!" (Note - he didn't say "HAY - sus" which was the Hispanic applicant's name, he said "Jesus," as in "Jesus Loves Me This I Know.")
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Old 05-30-2016, 10:19 AM
 
15,632 posts, read 24,435,519 times
Reputation: 22820
I worked for a boss who was famous for passing his work off on others. One time, when he had overloaded all his direct-reports and couldnt find anyone else to take on more of his work, he exclaimed, in exasperation: "I went to college. I shouldnt have to work this hard."
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Old 05-30-2016, 08:08 PM
 
7,977 posts, read 4,988,690 times
Reputation: 15956
"Its all who you know, not what you know"

Ive heard bosses actually say this!!! Ughhh
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Old 05-30-2016, 08:28 PM
 
24,559 posts, read 18,269,032 times
Reputation: 40260
Many years ago, I heard my boss say to someone, "A week from now, I'm going to open this desk drawer. Either you put your nuts there or your completed project before I slam the drawer shut."
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