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That's happened to me as well, although I make it a point now to never get close to coworkers. I tried to contact an old coworker once who I was on good terms with, and I didn't get a response. He just didn't care.
Because you were "work friends". You had a relationship "at work". I don't really have a desire to stay "friends" with people that have left the Company. Our common interest is no longer there.
The term is "work friends". I do have some best buds at work--"work buddies". I even have a "work husband"
It is exactly that---we are work friends. It might look like we are good friends--but only at work.
Yes, I still want to help my co-workers, but not to the point for someone eventually thinks that's my job. If you help someone too much, and that person wants to have light job and kisses the management's ass, and wants to push the heavy job on you, you will feel burnt out and stupid.
People must know boundaries. At work, you may like to go above and beyond, cooperate and/or collaborate, but you don't like to do all the work with a co-worker who just wants to do the easy work and talks and talks more than work.
Well If the manager is expecting you to bail everyone out, that is a weak manager and seen by upper management. Or will be seen eventually sooner or later. Eventually people will see you are valuable. You can also build up your resume with the more you learn, so you can find a new place to work. Make sure everything is documented on your resume with all your responsibilities. You can control your own inner circle life. You can't control outside it.
Ive been in this position before. Been taken advantage of directly, but I am adding EVERYTHING I'm doing to my resume and building experience for the next adventure and strengthening my resume. The more responsibility you take on, the more you will be valuable in your future endeavors
That's happened to me as well, although I make it a point now to never get close to coworkers. I tried to contact an old coworker once who I was on good terms with, and I didn't get a response. He just didn't care.
I wonder how good those "Terms" were if they didn't care to respond.
I never minded giving out a good reference for a good worker. Didn't care to be friends with them, but did want them to succeed. Even if I was stuck in a lousy job and hating everyone.
TBH OP, based on your various threads here, my impression is that you are spending a lot of emotional energy on other people's business. You do not need to behave like a surly selfish island dweller at work in order to be successful, but you do need to spend less time soaking up their bad energy. Not everyone is going to be hamstrung by their co-workers. Not everyone is cutthroat or unfeeling. There are plenty of decent people in the workforce. That's the side you want to be on...be pleasant, professional, be trustworthy, respectful, and certainly don't gossip, eves drop, or come off as overly judgmental. I suspect you'll find you have a lot more time to spend actually working if you leave others' business alone.
Work friendships usually don't continue after you leave the place. Much of the relationship is based on shared experiences, shared hatred of the boss or whatever.
You move on, you now have a whole new environment and people to build relationships with, and you tend to let go of the old place. This has happened to me numerous times over the 35+ years I've been in the workforce.
I suppose some people do make permanent friends, but my guess is that the majority do not. Ask yourself -- what are the odds that out of the dozen or so people you interact with every day in this one place, one or two of them are going to be longterm friends? If you're 19 or 20, maybe the odds are higher.
But for most people, your old workmates become just a happy memory the day you leave, and you become one for them as well.
Work friendships usually don't continue after you leave the place. Much of the relationship is based on shared experiences, shared hatred of the boss or whatever.
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Exactly
My linked-in started to look like dozens of broken spider webs.
Changed all the email addresses to a non working one and never looked back.
I will always try to help people at the end of the day. (Even if there is no immediate payoff. No promotion etc. Its in my nature as my mom did the same) Karma WILL come back to you positively.. Maybe not in this life but the next. Theres no reason to be self-absorbed and greedy. Especially if you're rich just wanting more money and an extra yacht or house.
You may not believe in a god or whatever. But Karma does exist. You do bad, bad things will happen to you ultimately. You do good, good things will happen in return
Don't mistreat people, Don't screw people over. What goes around comes around ultimately. You will NOT escape it. In my younger years I found out quickly, any negative action WILL result in a negative reaction
Karma is a myth designed to make people feel better about the events they can't explain. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, sometimes the evil person never faces justice, and sometimes, we have no idea why things happen. We should be good because for morality's sake. That is an end unto itself. Coworkers are usually not true friends. Why? Because your coworkers often have little in common with you other than the job. Once coworkers separate, they drift apart. It doesn't mean they are bad people; just that they have other interests and lives. That has happened to me many times. I am no longer friends with any of the people I used to work with.
Karma is a myth designed to make people feel better about the events they can't explain. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, sometimes the evil person never faces justice, and sometimes, we have no idea why things happen. We should be good because for morality's sake. That is an end unto itself. Coworkers are usually not true friends. Why? Because your coworkers often have little in common with you other than the job. Once coworkers separate, they drift apart. It doesn't mean they are bad people; just that they have other interests and lives. That has happened to me many times. I am no longer friends with any of the people I used to work with.
And, sometimes they are bad people. Sometimes they are complete psycho/sociopaths, and if anything bad happened to you - "Oh well. He deserved it!", is what they would say. They get off on calling themselves names, like when they do something rotten - "I'm such a *****!" "My mother's a ***** too, I bet you are a big *****!"
No. I'm not.
After orchestrating the distribution of one of their lies, and getting the reaction they predicted, you will hear them say things like, "Ha ha! Played that like a fiddle!" Yes, psychopaths will brag to your face about what they do because they don't believe anyone can see through them. They probably wouldn't be psychopaths if they thought they might be one of the ordinary masses, so they refuse to acknowledge that fact even when you make it quite clear to them that you see right through them. However, letting them know this can be quite dangerous as well.
It's quite comical when viewed in the right perspective though. What is the difference between your common ordinary corporate psychopath, and the run of the mill corporate sociopath? Many say the only difference is that one of them hasn't killed...yet! Their big talent is to gather lots of people around them. Sometimes they will refer to themselves in this light as the mayor of the corporation. Their charisma in that regard is what keeps them in the limelight, even if they are not productive and do nothing positive for their employer.
Some simply find they are in a bad place and the depression leads to cutting off ties... kind of an Island mentality.
Moving away is often key to starting over for some.
Company where I work had a very active retired group that would stay in touch and still included in many of the after word activities...
When the companies changed hands 3 of the 4 managers took every sick day and personal leave and simply didn't show up on the day they were to be back... these are people with 25 to 35 years in...
The bitter feelings resulted in cutting all ties...
That was 4 years ago and there have been so many new people that wouldn't know anything about them...
To be fair though, an Island mentality is the only recourse one has when they know they are on a well-connected psychopath's radar. Nothing to do with depression, and everything to do with survival. Responsibilities as well as resale value late in the employment history game, can leave one forced to bob-and-weave their way through what short time they have left before they can retire.
Not acknowledging and not reacting is the safest course to take. They pull their crap, get no reaction, and have to go back to the drawing board. The comical part is when the same tactics are pulled from the bag of superior tricks repeatedly. Sadly, some of us deal with psychopaths that others want to call our 'friends' for years.
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Sadly, some of us deal with psychopaths that others want to call our 'friends' for years.
