I'm 31 and have barely any work experience. Need help coming up with a white lie as to what I've been doing with my life (license, tips)
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Heck we are at a point where I would argue that 15$ is almost a dream. At least going by most ads online you see salaries of 12$-13$ an hour. Oh and you will be a temp for 12$-13$ an hour.
Where I live, almost every job now pays $15 an hour minimum. The OP just needs a job, ANY job, at this point since he has no experience. Even if it is somewhere like a grocery store or retail, that is better than sitting in his bedroom all day.
I agree with others that the military is an absolutely horrible idea for a person who appears to have untreated anxiety.
OP, what research have you done since starting this thread 2 days ago and reading 12 pages of responses?
It's overwhelming. If I give into these nerves I'll be nervous all day everyday. I'm looking into different things. Entry level jobs, social anxiety, basically being an adult. It feels like I'm just learning about life and it's hitting me all at once because I've put it off for so long. Research will only take me so far. I have to take action
I think they'll probably keep taking care of me but I'd rather start taking steps towards being independent now rather than all of a sudden.
Your parents seem nice to take care of you like that, since you seem to be pretty much a normal healthy adult (most adults have some anxiety).
But your parents did not do you any favors. They need to strongly support you by encouraging you daily to get out of the house! They should turn off your internet because you have an addiction. Force you to go to the library to use their PC's to find jobs. Something!!
The GOOD NEWS is that is NEVER to late, but I would say that you do need to get moving now, since the economy may be downsizing soon. If you can get into a place, fast food or retail now, show your worth, then you may be able to withstand the downsizing.
Someone your age, if you show maturity, can move up quickly into a supervisory position over the teenagers that work there. Then that can leap frog you into better jobs in 6 months to a year. Within 2-3 years you may be able to put all of this behind you. But YOU have to try. YOU have to want this.
For the most part I haven't been productive. Most of my time has been spent online, YouTube, video games, etc. I've decided to turn my life around and start being pro active. I think they'll probably keep taking care of me but I'd rather start taking steps towards being independent now rather than all of a sudden.
I've got a career and still have plenty of time on evenings and weekends for youtube and video games.
It's overwhelming. If I give into these nerves I'll be nervous all day everyday. I'm looking into different things. Entry level jobs, social anxiety, basically being an adult. It feels like I'm just learning about life and it's hitting me all at once because I've put it off for so long. Research will only take me so far. I have to take action
Your first action should be an appointment with your GP for a checkup, bloodwork and a discussion about anti anxiety medications. You could even make that call today. Right now in fact. Let us know when you do. You will feel so much better having taken this first step toward your healthy future.
I haven't worked because of social anxiety and partially because of laziness. I'm living with my parents. As far as I see it I can't afford to be honest with future employers or people I meet. The truth is too embarrassing. I may be honest if for some reason I get close to someone. I'll take advice on where do I begin in terms of making money. Also on what do I tell people. I wish things didn't come to this but my choices have led me to where I am today. I wish I didn't had to lie but for now that's my only option.
No, it's not.
Start with part time hours in any job you can find. You aren't going to start off at a Fortune 500. The gas station isn't going to care much, they just need a warm body standing there.
What were they diagnosed with. Did they all manage to reduce their anxiety and live a more normal life?
Please, don’t fish for “diagnosis”.
Some anti-anxiety treatments include facing your fears.
Start small - get out of the house and start saying hi to your neighbors or just waving them when they pass in a car. Go to grocery with your parents. You could ask insignificant questions your fellow shoppers or customer service.
Seeing someone placing something in the cart:”Did you try it before? Is it tasty? How do you prepare it?” Etc.
You are making yourself anxious - you need to start getting out.
The longer you isolate yourself- the worse it may get.
You are 31 - you have a whole life ahead of you. Don’t you have any dreams regarding your future? Any wishes? Wants? Longings?
Are you just satisfied to sit behind the screen and play games?
They call some of it “virtual” life.
To describe it correctly - the word life shouldn’t be used next to “virtual” - it isn’t even existence in my book - but slow agonizing death and atrophy of senses - as you already finding out - you just substitute it with the now popular word like “anxiety”
I watched a few YouTube videos and they were saying that they lied or didn't exact tell the truth because otherwise they wouldn't have been hired. But from the comments on my thread it looks like lying is not the way to go so I'm confused. If I'm honest and keep getting rejected I think I'll eventually have to lie. The alternative could be being homeless or another unfortunate circumstance.
An Interviewer only needs to know what you are willing to tell them and that's it. There is only a problem if you tell them there was/is a problem.
Internet is a huge resource.
Find the most likely questions asked at a job interview and in your spare time, write down your answers, then rehearse. Find someone to do a mock interview with and go over your answers until they are as natural at saying your name when asked. (tell me a bit about yourself; know that answer in preparing a two minute brief, called and elevator speech)
Volunteer work, as a poster suggested seems like a good place to begin. Also, because I'm working as a volunteer for this organization, find the Vocational Rehabilitation Services for your State. They will send (and pay for) you for an evaluation as to your social anxiety and they will also set up a work plan to help you find a job.
Everyone needs help every now and again, there is no shame in it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yologuy01
I think my life is evidence that I have extreme social phobia. Never had friends or girlfriend. In middle school and high school was asked by different students why I'm so quiet why I never talk. Unfortunately no official diagnosis. I wasn't in special ed or IEP. I did average in school. Didn't have the best of grades or the worst. It's not hard to just get by in school. I'm sure the teachers noticed I was very quiet. They probably assume I was a very shy kid. I don't know if I should have been in some kind of special ed.
My oldest son is a lot like you. He was in his 30s before his first job. He's a skinny minny working now at a major tire repair shop. His high school friend (there were only two) helped him get the interview and he's been with them ever since. It breaks my heart, because he is not in good physical health. But he's loyal to a fault, so he just keeps going ... So I'm going to tell you what I've told him.
There are online education platforms that have been available for ages. One is called Udemy and there are many others. A person can work a certification program or a degree program offered and they don't have to pay a penny, unless, they want the documentation associated with the classes, that they completed it.
Also, recently I learned that there are opportunities for self-employment as a drone operator. Turns out people don't want to climb up on roof tops to evaluate roof top damage. (I'm sure there are other applications) You will need an FCC license; other than that I'm fuzzy on the details, but the Internet will have those.
Do you like coding? You can learn (various coding platforms) python on YouTube, find the testing center in your area, pay for the test, pass the test and be certified.
But here's the deal. People here can throw you ideas all day long, but only you hold the key to unlocking your future. Your op, 'how do i lie', the thing is you don't have to lie. You also don't have to disclose anything that you feel uncomfortable sharing. And that's a fact. Here's another fact (something people most often overlook), you're looking at your potential employer, just as much as they are looking at you. During the interview, you have to ask yourself a very important question --- Do I want to work here? There's a reason most at most interviews the question comes up, 'where do you see yourself in five years', it's because they want to know if they are a good fit for your goals. And you need to know that, too.
It's overwhelming. If I give into these nerves I'll be nervous all day everyday. I'm looking into different things. Entry level jobs, social anxiety, basically being an adult. It feels like I'm just learning about life and it's hitting me all at once because I've put it off for so long. Research will only take me so far. I have to take action
And part of that action is seeing a therapist about this anxiety and how to deal with it.
You cannot allow anxiety to rule your life, or else.....well, the consequences are just bad.
Well, you're free to disagree with it, but you cannot imagine something that has always been pretty common globally and is now increasingly common in this country as well?
Most families would expect their kid to do something i.e. either working or pursuing education, but kids living at home past 18 is pretty common now, especially in the middle class and above.
What happens in other countries does not mean it is right for us in America. We did not become the greatest economic, military power by doing things like socialist/communist countries have. Making kids fend for themselves is a right of passage, and the only way to help make them self sufficient.
I see no problem with allowing kids to stay a little longer than 18(especially girls), but they must be made to get an education and/or a job, not just sit around the house watching TV, texting, social media, playing video games, etc.
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