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The OP also said he didn't get a job because he was lazy. He's had one job, taco bell that he was not cut out for.
I have ADHD too. School was rough unless it was something I was interested in. I some how managed to go through 2 years of beauty culture, also had my hair license, passed the test on the first try.
I've never been on meds but at my age, 60 is inching up, I wouldn't be interested because I don't have any issues where it holds me back. I've been medically retired due to my back. Social security disability is very hard to live on.
Social anxiety is the real deal, and I think people who don't suffer from it don't fully understand it. I don't know what is at the root of it, whether it's nature versus nurture. Maybe both.
I had it bad when I was younger, like to the point where I'd clam up in front of crowds. The thought of speaking publicly absolutely terrified me.
I worked very hard at it to break out of my shell. It mostly consisted of putting myself into uncomfortable situations.
For the most part, I have overcome a lot of my anxiousness in crowds. I can lead a conversation relatively easily in small groups, and have no problem being the center of attention at times. Humor and self-depreciation are tools relied heavily upon in my arsenal.
But sometimes the social anxiety will creep up. The pandemic and social isolation didn't help, because it allowed me to become comfortable not in groups. For instance, someone on my newish team came over and started a friendly chat and started asking me all sorts of personal questions. I hate, hate, hate talking about myself and I hate being put on the spot. I don't know what it is about it, but it causes discomfort as if I'm embarrassed. This is the part that people who don't have it don't understand. Physiological reactions start to occur. Sometimes I start sweating. Sometimes my face turns a little flush. These are all physical signs that I am uncomfortable that are clearly visible to an observant person. Knowing this only compounds the effects of these reactions when they start happening.
Just like with everything else in life, when people don't understand things due to a lack of experience or lack of personal empathy, they tend to brush these sorts of things off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal for those who suffer from it. It's not just something you can flip a switch and turn off. Meds can help, and social lubrication can certainly help. But I don't think that it just ever goes away completely.
For the most part I haven't been productive. Most of my time has been spent online, YouTube, video games, etc. I've decided to turn my life around and start being pro active. I think they'll probably keep taking care of me but I'd rather start taking steps towards being independent now rather than all of a sudden.
You might be able to fib a bit about how you have been helping one or both parents, assuming they won't rat you out if asked.
What useful skills do you have? If you can code like a devil, you can demonstrate that to a potential employer and they may not care about your past.
Do you have any college? If so, what major, what courses?
Social anxiety is the real deal, and I think people who don't suffer from it don't fully understand it. I don't know what is at the root of it, whether it's nature versus nurture. Maybe both.
I had it bad when I was younger, like to the point where I'd clam up in front of crowds. The thought of speaking publicly absolutely terrified me.
I worked very hard at it to break out of my shell. It mostly consisted of putting myself into uncomfortable situations.
For the most part, I have overcome a lot of my anxiousness in crowds. I can lead a conversation relatively easily in small groups, and have no problem being the center of attention at times. Humor and self-depreciation are tools relied heavily upon in my arsenal.
But sometimes the social anxiety will creep up. The pandemic and social isolation didn't help, because it allowed me to become comfortable not in groups. For instance, someone on my newish team came over and started a friendly chat and started asking me all sorts of personal questions. I hate, hate, hate talking about myself and I hate being put on the spot. I don't know what it is about it, but it causes discomfort as if I'm embarrassed. This is the part that people who don't have it don't understand. Physiological reactions start to occur. Sometimes I start sweating. Sometimes my face turns a little flush. These are all physical signs that I am uncomfortable that are clearly visible to an observant person. Knowing this only compounds the effects of these reactions when they start happening.
Just like with everything else in life, when people don't understand things due to a lack of experience or lack of personal empathy, they tend to brush these sorts of things off like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal for those who suffer from it. It's not just something you can flip a switch and turn off. Meds can help, and social lubrication can certainly help. But I don't think that it just ever goes away completely.
I've had that happen many times, especially when I was younger. It depends on the situation.
The OP won't know the extent of his anxiety until he goes for help.
He's close to being homeless if his mother died. If his step father is not on board with him sitting around, doing nothing, he gets thrown out, if he fights the step father, he has to get him evicted at some point, a judge will only give him so much time to get out.
I've asked about his father which he didn't acknowledge. Maybe he has other relatives to fall back on if he needed to. If he does not, his anxiety will be through the roof if he has to live on the street or stay in a shelter if there are any where he is. That's just a bed at night, they kick people out during the day.
He has no clue what his life can be like if he doesn't do something to help himself.
I know someone who had bad anxiety, didn't work, same situation with a step parent. The step parent wanted the adult "kid" out ASAP. It caused huge fights. They finally did get out but they're ready to lose their housing at a moments notice because it was temporary COVID provided. SS disability was supposed to give them a yes or no months ago. Even worst, they have a child.
Back in June, 1944. A bunch of 18 yr old stormed the beaches of Omaha, Utah, Juno, etc. facing flying bullets from the machine guns. Many sacrificed but as result, it was the beginning of the U.S. victory in WW-II. Were they scare? Did they have Anxiety? you bet! But they marched on because of the sense of duty.
Social anxiety? Were you medically diagnosed? Otherwise, it sounds like a bunch of excuses to me. IMO, you had too comfortable life living with Mom & Dad. You've became soft & lazy. The best thing your parent can do is to kick you out of the house, then you have to go get a job.
Nothing like the need for money gives you the motivation you'll need. The motivation such as getting to work on time, complete the tasks assigned, and say "yes sir/ma'am".
If you lie just to get a job. You'll be fired in no time because of your laziness.
Do yourself a favor, go join the Army and let them shake the "social anxiety" out of you!
You might be able to fib a bit about how you have been helping one or both parents, assuming they won't rat you out if asked.
What useful skills do you have? If you can code like a devil, you can demonstrate that to a potential employer and they may not care about your past.
Do you have any college? If so, what major, what courses?
I'm going to try to learn some coding as it seems to be a popular field. By helping out do you mean with their job or a mental or physical impairment. I only graduated high school.
What am I missing? That ad had nothing to do with the military.
Nothing to do with the military, as that was a separate comment.
The Progressive ads (there are several) reflect a failure to launch (leave the nest) older adult child, living in his parents house.
I cannot imagine any parent allowing their kid to live at home more than 6 months after they turn 18. It is either off to college, or work to find their own place, whether it be an inexpensive apartment, or rents a room in a place with roommates.
That tends to mature and motivate someone real quick.
Nothing to do with the military, as that was a separate comment.
The Progressive ads (there are several) reflect a failure to launch (leave the nest) older adult child, living in his parents house.
I cannot imagine any parent allowing their kid to live at home more than 6 months after they turn 18. It is either off to college, or work to find their own place, whether it be an inexpensive apartment, or rents a room in a place with roommates.
That tends to mature and motivate someone real quick.
Well, you're free to disagree with it, but you cannot imagine something that has always been pretty common globally and is now increasingly common in this country as well?
Most families would expect their kid to do something i.e. either working or pursuing education, but kids living at home past 18 is pretty common now, especially in the middle class and above.
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