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This is my first week of unemployment. Yeah, I quit my job but the writing was on the wall - either work nights and weekends for free under stress constantly or put my health before a job and quit (before I most surely would have been fired for just burning out and not doing the job).
Anyway, I have not reacted well to this being unemployed. I was happy about the Inauguration on Tuesday, but reality has set in. I can't afford to be depressed (the kind where you can't get out of bed and don't function) yet I know I am NOT alone in my feelings.
So...what do you do to force yourself to keep applying for jobs and try to remain optimistic - when you'd rather just crawl in bed?
I hit the wall today (I have not worked since the end of August and only had one job interview since then.)
I was in this state of 'I can't do anything' (meaning making a simple decision whether to get in the car and drive to the store or go exercise which I usually do every morning). I sat in front the computer brooding till my husband got up. We had a nice morning till I just lost it..(he opened up a bill and I got upset because I can't help pay bills).
I was also frustrated because I want to volunteer somewhere (to be useful and find some connections). I can't get ANYONE to get back to me. I am also have a major case of the winter sucks blahs.
We had a huge blowout about money, life and why I hate being here sometimes (we moved here in Sept '07 and I have only had 1 temp job in all that time), and how I just feel worthless.
I am not 'allowed to' get upset anymore because he 'has no sympathy.' He also tells me I don't want to do what it takes and I don't try to help myself. I have begun to hold back how I feel but today I lost it and we put on a nice show for the neighbor kid who happened to be home upstairs. (just my luck).
I am sorry you are depressed. I don't want you to think I am hogging your thread. I just want you to know that you will have good and bad days. Try not to second guess your decision.
Like you, I left a job (though it was just temp and they were dangling a full time position in front of me for months). So, my husband says, "You chose to leave that job. Be it on your head.'
My coping mechanisms are usually daily exercise, cleaning the apartment and spending time with my dog till our son comes home and I can go into Mommy mode till the next day.
First of all, congratulations on doing what you felt was right. Now, if you have extra time on your hands, do some volunteer work. Wash an ambulance, register people at the hospital, walk dogs at the SPCA... Make yourself useful. When your mental state improves you'll be better equipped to interview for a job. Good luck.
I hit the wall today (I have not worked since the end of August and only had one job interview since then.)
I was in this state of 'I can't do anything' (meaning making a simple decision whether to get in the car and drive to the store or go exercise which I usually do every morning). I sat in front the computer brooding till my husband got up. We had a nice morning till I just lost it..(he opened up a bill and I got upset because I can't help pay bills).
I was also frustrated because I want to volunteer somewhere (to be useful and find some connections). I can't get ANYONE to get back to me. I am also have a major case of the winter sucks blahs.
We had a huge blowout about money, life and why I hate being here sometimes (we moved here in Sept '07 and I have only had 1 temp job in all that time), and how I just feel worthless.
I am not 'allowed to' get upset anymore because he 'has no sympathy.' He also tells me I don't want to do what it takes and I don't try to help myself. I have begun to hold back how I feel but today I lost it and we put on a nice show for the neighbor kid who happened to be home upstairs. (just my luck).
I am sorry you are depressed. I don't want you to think I am hogging your thread. I just want you to know that you will have good and bad days. Try not to second guess your decision.
Like you, I left a job (though it was just temp and they were dangling a full time position in front of me for months). So, my husband says, "You chose to leave that job. Be it on your head.'
My coping mechanisms are usually daily exercise, cleaning the apartment and spending time with my dog till our son comes home and I can go into Mommy mode till the next day.
Well, it has to be hard what you are dealing with - all that pressure from your husband. I don't know which is worse - being in a situation where someone is constantly on you and accusing you of not trying - or being alone and worried about having no one to support you if you run out of money. Anyway, both are no fun.
Sounds to me like you are doing the right things under a lot of pressure. I admire you for exercising every morning. I know that would help me, but I just felt like sitting in front of the computer all day today and staying in bed and slept for a couple of hours, as I am just exhausted from emotion over leaving that job and back to square one.
We do live in interesting times. I'll say that much. Thanks for your post.
First of all, congratulations on doing what you felt was right. Now, if you have extra time on your hands, do some volunteer work. Wash an ambulance, register people at the hospital, walk dogs at the SPCA... Make yourself useful. When your mental state improves you'll be better equipped to interview for a job. Good luck.
Thank you, I know it was right. Without getting into details, my Dr. told me yesterday that to continue on as I'd been would result in long term health problems. I'd been having these stomach pains for a few weeks and he told me he doesn't think it's a permanent condition and to go back and see him in a week. Health is more important than a job.
I did volunteer before this job and am going to email this woman to see if she'll have me back. I really did like it there and should have just stayed there until I found a better job - six months ago when I took that job the economy was better. Oh well, you live and learn. Thanks for your input.
So...what do you do to force yourself to keep applying for jobs and try to remain optimistic - when you'd rather just crawl in bed?
movin 'on,
I think the best thing is to set small goals. Tell yourself, I will make x phone calls today, or I will send out x resumes. Whatever it is, but start of small.
Looking for a job is like being self-employed. There's suddenly no structure to your day, no social life. You have to create everything. And things can start to feel bleak and hopeless in no time.
So tomorrow, before you do anything, get a notepad and write down your tasks for the day. It doesn't matter how stupid they are, write them down. Set small goals for yourself in terms of looking for a job. Put one foot in front of the other.....
Once you revamp your resume and start sending a few out, you see that it is really a very brainless process. And then you can set more ambitious goals. But start small. So when you look at your notepad in the morning, you think, "Oh, no big deal. I can do that!" When you are done, cross it off the list.
The other thing that is important, is don't isolate yourself. Try to visit a friend, even if it is for a cup of tea. Being around other people can really help bring you out of a depression. But spend time with kind understanding friends, not self-centered ones who just suck more energy out of you. You are already depleted, so you can't feed the vampires right now.
Also, it is very, very important to take care of your health. I recently started running again and it has really changed my outlook big time. Maybe running is not for you, but you can still go walking. Very important to get outside and smell the fresh air. When we are inside, we feel "stuck," when we step outside, we realize the world is a big place!
Also, go easy on the alcohol and cigs. I know they taste great, but they are not good for you.
I'm praying every night for all of us being tested now. (unemployed and underemployed).
Maybe in some cases, it will show us what really matters in life, and what doesn't.
Movin'--try to get out of the house/apt every day. Do not wallow. Sign on here and let us encourage you or let's commiserate together.
Being unemployed, I have found myself shrinking back into the 'loser stay at home' mentality. Also, my husband says I only do things (cleaning up all day) out of 'guilt.'
If you can volunteer do so.
PS I wanted to give WOOF points again for the post, but can't...I agree!!
Movin'On,
I agree... you are to be congratulated on doing what was best for you. And it's ok to feel sad at first. You have to give yourself time to acknowlege your feelings and your situation. After that, I would suggest the first good day you have, spend some time finding people to network with in your chosen field. You'll be able to encourage each other and trade ideas and connections.
Best of luck to you, and to GypsySoul22, as well!
I think the best thing is to set small goals. Tell yourself, I will make x phone calls today, or I will send out x resumes. Whatever it is, but start of small.
Looking for a job is like being self-employed. There's suddenly no structure to your day, no social life. You have to create everything. And things can start to feel bleak and hopeless in no time.
So tomorrow, before you do anything, get a notepad and write down your tasks for the day. It doesn't matter how stupid they are, write them down. Set small goals for yourself in terms of looking for a job. Put one foot in front of the other.....
Once you revamp your resume and start sending a few out, you see that it is really a very brainless process. And then you can set more ambitious goals. But start small. So when you look at your notepad in the morning, you think, "Oh, no big deal. I can do that!" When you are done, cross it off the list.
The other thing that is important, is don't isolate yourself. Try to visit a friend, even if it is for a cup of tea. Being around other people can really help bring you out of a depression. But spend time with kind understanding friends, not self-centered ones who just suck more energy out of you. You are already depleted, so you can't feed the vampires right now.
Also, it is very, very important to take care of your health. I recently started running again and it has really changed my outlook big time. Maybe running is not for you, but you can still go walking. Very important to get outside and smell the fresh air. When we are inside, we feel "stuck," when we step outside, we realize the world is a big place!
Also, go easy on the alcohol and cigs. I know they taste great, but they are not good for you.
I hope you feel better!
Thanks, Woof Woof Woof,
I am going to get up and do that tomorrow - make a list of even dumb stupid things. I've sort of let the house go, so I'll start by making some headway in that area. Even if I do nothing other than water the plants and clean up a bit, I will feel better.
I will go for a walk too. I might even take the pups for a walk. They deserve a mommy who takes good care of them, but mommy has to pull out of this funk.
As far as even thinking about work, well, that is going to be a tough one. I think I'll just focus on baby steps the rest of the week.
I think it's normal to feel depressed when you have no job or income. My work has really dropped off and I barely survive now. My living situation sucks. It is a real struggle for me to feel like I have a future. You start to loose hope. A lot of people feel this way right now. It is normal.
People who still have jobs get treated badly and overworked because employers take advantage. They beat you down. And then when quit your job, you sit at home and beat yourself down.
It is very hard right now. Just know that we are all in it together and hopefully none of use will starve.
Woofers
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